I Only Want to Lie Flat But Am Forced to Cultivate Immortality-Chapter 259 - 146: Straw Spirit Funeral, Paper-Crafting Skills
Chapter 259: Chapter 146: Straw Spirit Funeral, Paper-Crafting Skills
...
When Xu Qing returned to the Funeral Shop, the sky was already bright.
Inside the shop, Xuan Yu, who was possessed by the female zombie, was holding a fire poker, mimicking the embroidery girl dancing with a spear.
Seeing Xu Qing appear, Xuan Yu immediately hid the poker behind her back, pretending nothing had happened.
Before Xu Qing could ask, Xuan Yu preemptively said, "Did you go and mess around with the embroidery girl last night?"
Xu Qing was momentarily stunned.
However, he quickly realized that, knowing Xuan Yu, this cat would never say such a thing!
"Who taught you to say that?"
Xuan Yu blinked and said, "Last night, Shopkeeper Cheng from the Incense and Candle Shop came over for a visit. She told me that if a man doesn’t come home at night, he must have gone to mess around with ghosts."
"..."
Xu Qing was speechless.
"Messing around with ghosts doesn’t mean that."
"Then what does it mean?"
Xu Qing thought for a moment and said, "It means I spent the whole night playing with other cats."
Xuan Yu looked at Xu Qing in shock: "Other cats?"
"It’s just a metaphor. I was busy with a funeral last night. Where would I find time to play with other cats?"
Xu Qing quickly changed the topic, saying, "Let’s not talk about this. I bought some fried small fish. Do you want to eat?"
"Hmm..." Xuan Yu stared at Xu Qing, clearly still thinking about his previous words.
"If you don’t eat, I’ll feed it to other cats."
"..."
Placing the breakfast he bought on the tablecloth-covered coffin plank, Xu Qing sat in the main seat, with a plate of neatly stacked candles, a bowl of duck blood soup cooked to a precise degree, and a small incense burner with Spirit Incense in front of him.
White smoke swirled as Xu Qing took out a dagger, cutting the candles on the plate into small pieces and chewing them carefully.
The wax was richly fragrant with a faint scent of laurel oil. These were top-quality candles, a special order of ’Blessed Wax’ from the boss lady of the Incense and Candle Shop, specifically for his demanding tastes. Allegedly, the major temples and monasteries during the Yong Dynasty, including the Celestial Master’s Mansion on Jingshi Mountain and even the Imperial Mausoleum, all used these candles.
Beside Xu Qing, Xuan Yu was eating the fried golden small fish in small bites.
The Golden Simurgh, who was not allowed to dine at the table, was guarding its own jar, pecking at the centipedes and venomous scorpions inside.
Xuan Yu always couldn’t help but glance over at the Golden Simurgh while eating.
The way that big rooster tilted its head to eat the centipedes, like slurping noodles, seemed even more appetizing than her small fish.
After ’everyone’ finished breakfast, the messenger horse from the Transmission Hall, who went out to gather information, returned to the hall.
Huang Xiaoliu respectfully bowed to Xu Qing and Xuan Yu, then recounted the news he had gathered last night.
When Xu Qing heard that the Jinmen Gang leader Hong Baoyan had died under a flurry of knives, he felt somewhat pity.
Last night, when he went to the dock, Hong Baoyan wasn’t at the shipyard. Yet now, just one night later, his head had been taken by someone.
He wondered if the leader’s body would be sent to the Patrol Office...
Speaking of the Government Office, Xu Qing suddenly missed Senior Brother Wang. He was a deeply sentimental person. Though it had only been a few days, his longing for his senior brother had already reached a haunting degree.
In front of the coffin, Xu Qing continued listening to Huang Xiaoliu’s report.
He spent this meal time waiting for news from the Transmission Hall, and now, upon hearing Huang Xiaoliu’s report, he finally felt completely at ease.
"Did the government find out who exterminated the Jinmen Gang?"
Huang Xiaoliu replied, "There were no bodies at the dock. According to the government, it was a water monster from the Baishui River that attacked the dock at night and ate those people."
"..."
Xu Qing raised an eyebrow. Who was this water monster? How could it insult people from afar!
Could there really be a water monster that specifically targeted the villains of the Jinmen Gang?
This kind of excuse, any clear-sighted person could see through it!
Xu Qing didn’t think others were fools. Not to mention anyone else, even Huang Xiaoliu might not believe it.
However, the next moment, he heard Huang Xiaoliu say:
"The water monster at the dock is causing a lot of trouble. Who knows how many years of cultivation it has. The other messengers from the Immortal Halls don’t dare to get close to the river. Sir, if you need to go to the dock in the future, please be careful..."
Xu Qing was silent for a moment, then took out a bag of tea eggs and placed them on the coffin plank, saying earnestly, "Xiaoliu, these tea eggs are for you. Eat more to nourish your brain."
...
In the side room of the Funeral Shop.
Xu Qing placed a puppet at the door, instructed Xuan Yu to watch over the shop, then closed the door and began to inventory last night’s harvest.
Temporarily skipping over the corpses of the ordinary Jinmen Gang members, Xu Qing’s gaze fell directly on the bodies of the leaders like Ling Yangzi and Jin Wanshan.
He lined up the six bodies and started examining them one by one from Ling Yangzi.
These people had been an eyesore to him when they were alive, but now that they were dead, they seemed rather pleasing to the eye.
Indeed, corpses were far more exciting!
At this moment, the six corpses, covered in bloody streaks and with ghastly visages, lay in various twisted and grotesque death poses in the eerie side room.
In this room, filled with an ominous atmosphere, a young man with a face full of excitement was staring at the corpses, eyes glowing green.
That look made it seem as if the corpses were not grisly remains but stunning beauties with allures as captivating as flirtatious winks.
Taking a deep breath of the resentment-filled, ominous air, Xu Qing felt refreshed. These auras, to someone who didn’t need to breathe, were like fresh air to the living.
With a single breath, even his stiff body felt more invigorated!
The Sutra of Salvation seemed to have sensed the long-awaited pleasure too, flipping its pages even faster.
Xu Qing once again saw the transition scenes of the underworld, and this time they were clearer than ever before.
Grayish-white mist filled his mind, waves of corpses undulated before his eyes, and tombstones stood like forests. On the River of the Dead, paper boats laden with the mortal world’s paper treasures and yin wealth flowed into the underworld from the River of Three Crossings.
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