I Am Tired Of Being A Hero-Chapter 304: You are never around

Ravi rolled to the side of the bed; the warmth that he had subconsciously been seeking was missing.

He let out a soft groan and stretched out his hand only to be met with a cold bedspread.

Ravi slowly opened his eyes and sat up.

Arlen was gone.

His heartbeat increased, pounding in his chest before he took a deep breath. It was not as if Arlen was missing; he knew exactly where he was.

As if to reply to him, Ravi’s eyes caught the sticker note on the wall.

"Good morning, love. An emergency. Had to run. I love you."

EAC. The Emergency Action Corps. They had been hastily formed by a joint effort of the Hero Association and the Government.

People trapped in rubble for days or even weeks as an aftermath of the disasters had been rescued by the EAC.

It was not just the search and rescue; they did so many things. The papers called them heroes among heroes. News about their successful missions and grateful citizens graced the television, and in the midst of it there was Arlen.

Somehow, in some way, he had been roped into joining the EAC.

But Ravi did not think they needed to do so much convincing.

Arlen could not turn his back on people that desperately needed his help.

He was saving so many people, doing so much good, and yet all Ravi could think was that he was not here with him.

He was never around.

Ravi bit his lips. A good boyfriend would be supportive and understanding and would not cause their partner to worry.

He rubbed his forehead, feeling too tired to get up.

He was really selfish, clingy, and terrible. All along hadn’t he been this kind of person, the kind who...

"Ravi, it is too early for you to go down a spiral."

The voice in his head was both gentle and sleepy.

"Malik, get..."

"I was not attempting to read your mind, but you keep broadcasting your emotions. I had a very long night." The end of the sentence carried a little teasing before the voice sighed and continued, "Just talk to Arlen. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship."

Ravi hit back the ’Isn’t it love?’ that wanted to come out, "We communicate."

"Sure you do. You talk about the future, finance, and every other thing other couples talk about. Ravi just tells Arlen what’s bothering you, and just know if you start biting yourself and disturb my sleep one more time. I am tossing you into the Netherworld."

While Malik’s concern was disguised with threats, Anouk was more straightforward.

That morning, after Ravi waved goodbye to Ash, Lana, and Sage, he returned inside to dress up for work. Then he heard it.

"Bam!"

There was a loud crash on the front of the house, and Ravi immediately appeared there.

"Anouk, are you crazy? Can’t you use your words?"

Anouk dusted off the dirt on his clothes and ignored his brother in favor of Ravi.

"Ravi, good morning. I brought him."

With that, he flew off.

Arlen was sitting on the ground, and he helped himself up, frowning. "I might just be the only one normal in that entire family. He just came in the middle of a meeting..." He rambled when he saw Ravi’s face, and he suddenly paused, coming closer, "Ravi, love. What’s wrong?"

Arlen’s entire attention was focused on him, and those blue eyes were filled with concern.

Nothing. I was just... I kind of missed you. You are always busy nowadays.

Ravi did not know what kind of words to use or how to even begin, and he hated that more than anything. Talking to Arlen was always easy; he never had to overthink or ruminate over the conversation.

It was Arlen. Nobody knew him or loved all of him like Arlen did.

"Love? Okay, let’s go inside. Have a cup of tea, okay?"

He wrapped his arm around Ravi and led him into the house and into the kitchen.

In five minutes, there was a cup of tea in front of Ravi.

Rather than sitting opposite to him, Arlen moved the seat from the other side to sit next to him.

"Not that it requires much skill, but I think my tea making is at least a B mark."

Ravi took a sip of the tea. "Passable. D." He smiled.

"D. Ravi, now that is just mean. Love, what’s wrong?"

A strange fear had accompanied Ravi all his life. It was so embarrassing, so shameful, carrying a sense of wretched defeat.

Ravi had almost forgotten about it, but now he noticed that fear was still there. It had never left.

"Ravi, love. You know you can tell me anything." Arlen pleaded. He held Ravi’s hand and lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently.

Warm. Arlen was ever so warm.

"The future. We have not really talked about it." He tried to act rather dispassionately but failed. "I mean. Are you thinking of transferring to the EAC permanently? Do you want to move to the Capital?"

The more he talked, the more he felt a little guilty, and he tried to salvage it: "You are much stronger than before. Your rank should have increased, and the police department should have dealt with your previous charges. Staying in a small town like Davenport is a waste, and you would be closer to your family in the capital. So I understand if you..."

Arlen let go of his hand and stood up. "What are you saying, Ravi?"

What was he even saying? That was not exactly what he wanted to say.

"Do you want me to return to the Capital? Do you not...Ravi, am I not family?" Arlen suddenly felt wronged. "You said you wanted to talk about the future, and yet you have already decided for me. Did I... do something wrong?"

Ravi became even more aware of the damp and bitter cotton lodged in his chest. It was filling it to the brim, and without pressing, he knew it was already saturated, but even the slightest touch could make it seep.

Originally he could hold himself back, but seeing the expression on Arlen’s face. The hurt he had inflicted. He couldn’t stop the welling of tears in his eyes.

A strange fear had accompanied Ravi all his life. It was not that he was unworthy to be loved; it was just that he was worth too little.

Even though he knew how much someone loved him, something else would be much more important.

He knew he was letting the ghost of his past affect his present; he had enough sessions with Malik to know that, but still he could not help himself.

He swallowed, shaking his head.

"You didn’t do anything wrong. It is me. You are never aaround, so I am a little insecure."