Holding Onto My Man-Chapter 87

TLCed by JJ

Edited by Evan

When Xue Han carried Gu Bai back to Prince Yu’s residence, the murderous aura surrounding his body still hadn’t subsided. Xue Yunfeng’s attempt to kill Gu Bai completely touched his bottom line.

In contrast, Gu Bai was happily enjoying his gentle care. Seeing that Xue Han’s expression really was too ugly, he quickly reached out his hand and took the initiative to hold him the moment after entering the room. He leaned his head against the other’s chest and used his body heat as a reassurance that he was alive to calm down Xue Han’s anger, blaming himself a little in his heart.

In fact, he had many ways to complete the task, but this time he just happened to choose this method. Although he had a very good time in the process, it seemed that this time he really angered his man.

However, he had to admit that this way of relying on a man’s doting to wantonly seek amusement was really wonderful, making people feel a kind of inexplicable happiness and joy.

Xue Han saw that he was not speaking nor crying anymore, his face was blank as if he had nothing left to live for. In Xue Han’s heart, he simultaneously felt really angry at him and pained for him, but he didn’t know what to say. He could only hold him tightly and comfort him.

“This prince told you that Lao San wasn’t worth it, but you just wouldn’t believe what I said. Forget it, let’s not talk about that bastard. Don’t be sad; you still have this prince. The love that you want, this prince will give to you. This life—no, in every life and every world, this prince will only have you…”

He even learned to say such sweet words. Gu Bai sniffled his nose, his heart filled with sweetness. Then he said sadly, “He once said that too…”

“How can that bastard Lao San compare with this prince?!” Xue Han was angered to death, and in his heart he hated Xue Yunfeng even more.

“But before, Your Highness kept enough male beauties in your palace to even rival the imperial harem… Your words, how is one supposed to believe them?” Gu Bai looked at him pointedly and complained.

Xue Han froze, his face instantly vexed. He couldn’t help but wish he could turn back time, so as to give his past self a good hard slap or two to see all the stupid things he did.

Although he didn’t touch those people, it was a fact that he collected many beautiful men. It seemed that his reputation of being a loose man could no longer be washed away!

“Forget it, this prince will take you somewhere…”

He wouldn’t be able to explain clearly at the moment. Xue Han sighed helplessly before pulling Gu Bai out of the room and going to a pavilion in the palace.

Although this building was not big, it was heavily guarded as if it held major secrets. But when Gu Bai walked in, he found that it was actually just a very common building without even a single boobytrap.

Xue Han pulled him to the second floor of the pavilion, opened a sealed door, and walked in.

Inside was a very empty room without decorations or secret treasures. The entire room was devoid of furniture except the middle, where there stood a table and chair.

There were only numerous paintings hung all around the room, portrait after portrait of a man without a face.

These portraits showed the man in sorts of poses: standing, sleeping, jumping, or moving. Although each man had no face, the portraits were lifelike and vivid. It could be seen that the painter must have been very attentive.

“These paintings were all drawn by this prince…”

Xue Han looked at the room filled with paintings and held Gu Bai's hand as he showed him every single portrait. Explaining with a gentle smile, he spoke.

'This prince has had a dream since I was a kid. No matter how the scene changed, the person in the dream wouldn't change. But I didn't know what he looked like because his face always changed... This prince wanted to find him very much, but within the vast sea of people, it was as hard as trying to scale the heavens. These years, anyone whom this prince found to be similar to him would be taken back to the palace, but none of them were him... until I met you."

“Because I look like him?”

Gu Bai’s expression was light, but there were waves in his heart. If other people heard these words, they would definitely become angry because these words definitely made it sound like they were only being used as a substitute, but he was different.

“No, not similar. You’re him!” Xue Han was very sure.

“When I saw you in the tea garden, I knew that you were the one whom I’ve been looking for. Rong Yi, this prince isn’t like Lao San. I have never touched the beauties in my palace. This prince has told you that this prince had erectile dysfunction before—no, not exactly, it should be that I couldn’t get it to stand up for anyone but you…”

At the end, his man looked helpless as if he had been wronged.

Gu Bai’s face finally couldn’t hold it anymore and he laughed, stunning his man with its brilliance. Then he reached out to hold the other, burying his head in his chest and listened to the strong heartbeat.

“Don’t call me Rong Yi. He has already died for Xue Yunfeng. Call me Bai…”

“Okay…” 𝑓𝒓𝚎e𝓌𝘦𝘣𝘯𝘰𝐯𝒆𝑙.c𝚘m

Xue Han nodded and kissed his forehead. Gu Bai smiled and raised his head, taking the initiative to plant one on his lips. At this moment, he only wanted his kiss.

Xue Han soon took action. Originally, he didn’t intend to take the throne, but Xue Yunfeng had touched his bottom line.

In the middle of the fifth month, the emperor died. Xue Han took the throne with absolute power. The group of princes who had been fighting for several years were unwilling but helpless.

This little imperial uncle of theirs had the same qualifications for succeeding the throne, nevermind the military power he grasped. Moreover, he was very prestigious among the people. Even his weakness of having a short lifespan was gone, so it was no surprise that the throne fell into his hands.

Those of the princes who were to be demoted got demoted, those to be banished were banished, and naturally Xue Yunfeng was among them. Xue Han dismissed his position as prince and demoted him to live as a commoner in the northern barbarian lands.

Losing everything again, Xue Yunfeng didn’t hate it as much as he did in his previous life. The only thought in his mind now was to see Rong Yi.

He always thought that Rong Yi was merciless to him, but Yanu’s words hit him as hard as a slap in the face, telling him clearly that Rong Yi was sincere to him. It was the sincerity he had longed for the most.

Before he left, he used all means to intrude into the imperial study, asking Xue Han to let him see Rong Yi again. Xue Han didn’t agree and instead looked at him sinisterly.

“Xue Yunfeng, you better not test my limits anymore. To the person that even this emperor is reluctant to wrong a single bit, you were so fearless as to treat him like that. If he didn’t beg me, I would have definitely cut you into pieces to vent my anger! Come, take him away!”

Xue Han, who had already ascended the throne, had changed the way he addressed himself, and using an angry voice, he ordered people to take Xue Yunfeng away.

Accompanying Xue Yunfeng to the north was Qi Moli. While he succeeded in being with the person he liked, he was not as happy as he was in that plot.

Xue Yunfeng wasn’t a fool. He quickly guessed the reason behind Gu Bai needing to conceal that he had cut his flesh and bled for him as well as Qi Moli’s gu poisoning.

All the affection he had for Qi Moli suddenly burst into resentment. If it wasn’t for Qi Moli, he and Rong Yi would not have gone down this tragic road again.

“Xue Yunfeng, while I’m lowly and vicious, you also aren’t a gentleman! If you really loved Rong Yi, then why would you court me?! Why would you always doubt him?! You pushed him away by yourself!”

“You say you love him, but you never believed in him. Your doubt for him outweighed any love you could have for him!”

Qi Moli’s face also showed resentment. Although it was wrong of him to try to kill Rong Yi in his schemes, the one who was wrong the most was Xue Yunfeng. In the end, it wasn’t others who made him lose Rong Yi, it was himself.

Xue Yunfeng couldn’t refute him, he had seemingly become enlightened, feeling incessant pain.

In the middle of the night, he seemed to dream about his previous life. It was when he saw the stunning Rong Yi for the first time, when he received the other’s everything, when they were both happy together. That brief year was the happiest time in his life.

But that happiness was short-lived. He died miserably in the battle for the throne. He didn’t even get to see Rong Yi one last time. He wanted to see that person again, so he became a ghost and wandered to Rong Yi’s side.

But what he saw was not the deeply loving person waiting for him, but a person who didn’t show any signs of sorrow as he threw himself into the arms of another.

He couldn’t believe that the person who had once been intimately involved with him actually didn’t have any feelings for him at all, and that all those happy memories were fake.

Even after experiencing another life, all that pain could not be forgotten, but the dream just continued on.

He saw the person who he thought was heartless become a “bewitching man”, enthralling and controlling the new emperor. He destroyed the state of Qi and killed the new emperor, before finally being captured by the rebel army and publicly beheaded.

At the last moment of his dream, he unexpectedly saw a smile on the face of the person who had become reviled and cursed by the entire world. He seemed to look at him and said:

“Your Highness, Rong Yi has come to find you…”

Was that a dream or the actual truth he didn’t see in his previous life?

Xue Yunfeng covered his face when he woke up. His strong regret seemed to drown him. He had missed a person who really loved him. He had truly let down Rong Yi. Truly let down Rong Yi. He really wanted to see him again. Really wanted to…

At the end of his life, Gu Bai went back to the starry space. Before he could react, someone stuck close to him, his arm tightly wrapping around his waist.

“Did you have a good time playing?” His man’s breath puffed against his ear, hot and scalding.

“En…”

Gu Bai smiled and nodded. Turning around, he put his hand on his shoulder and closed in to block his thin lips. Even though they had just separated, he still liked it.

Ye Cang also immediately extended his tongue to welcome him, and his mood was agitated. The feeling of contact with each other’s true spiritual essence was far better than when they used other people’s bodies to be together, making him shiver.

They kissed until the tip of their tongues were numb, their lips red and swollen. Before the two reluctantly separated, their deep and lingering love surrounded them.

“Time is short, so continue on and enter the next task world…”

Ye Cang licked his wet lips and prepared to send him to the next world. His spirit was not like a phantom’s and could not stay in the starry space for a long time.

After the last time, Gu Bai knew his situation at the moment, but he was still rather reluctant. He touched his firm chin and asked.

“When can we truly be together?”

Although they could be together in the worlds, he always felt uneasy hiding in other people’s bodies. Moreover, he was more worried about the dilemma that his man had spoken of before, but the other had no time to explain, and it seemed to be something that was difficult to mention.

“Almost…”

Ye Cang looked at Gu Bai’s soul which had become increasingly solid. He smiled and kissed his lips again, before sending him to the next world.

At the same time, in the Ninth Heaven, in the holy palace.

The man in the golden robe who was playing chess seemed to feel something. He waved his hand and took out a ball of light and stared at the raging flames inside. His face which was originally quite grave now revealed a smile. He placed a chess piece onto the board victoriously.

“This game has still been won by this emperor…”

The man chuckled. It wasn’t known whether he was talking to himself or to the person facing him.

“Oh?”

The man in white across from him raised his eyebrows, looked around the chessboard, and then dropped a piece on the chessboard, shaking his head and laughing.

“Emperor, there are always exceptions. You see, you lost this game…”

When these words fell, the smile on the golden robed man’s face disappeared. The chess piece between his fingers instantly turned into ash. Within ten meters of him, the ground became ice.

Seeing him like this, the man in white was silent for a while before he spoke again.

“Emperor, if he fails, if he returns and still remembers, and if he knows Ye Cang’s situation, I’m afraid… It’s still the same line, as there always are exceptions…”

The man in the golden robes was still silent and just stared at the flames inside the light ball in his hand, as his other hand on the table slowly clenched.