Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)-Chapter 263: Elien’s Disappearance

Elián;

"Mmm..." I moan as I stir, and I slowly pull my eyes open as sleep leaves me.

I yawn, even though I’m just opening my eyes and I quietly pull myself together and into a sleeping position.

The first place I look is outside the balcony. It’s still dark outside... so, what woke me?

I look beside me, and find that Zephan has covered himself under layers upon layers of blankets to keep himself warm due to the room’s cold.

Something about the sight makes me smile. I was afraid he’d turn me down when I asked him to share the bed with me tonight.

But he didn’t. He didn’t even try to put up a fight. He just agreed.

I thought he’d sleep stiffly on the very edge of the bed, but instead... he held on to me for as long as I can remember. Almost like he was scared I’d vanish if he let go.

Not once did he complain about the cold, and he acted completely fine until I fell asleep in his arms. Now, here he is... wrapped up like a Burrito in his sleep just to keep warm.

I slowly take my gaze away from the good-looking angel resting beside me, and take in the rest of the room as I try to understand what woke me.

The room is dim, lit only by the soft orange glow of the crystals embedded in the walls, behind the vines.

I should get back to sleep... But my body feels restless. Buzzing.

The mana flow exercise Queen Selthía made me do earlier is still throbbing gently under my skin, like channels in me have been opened for the first time... I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing...

"You’re restless" A voice suddenly speaks in the back of my mind, and I freeze.

Elien.

I want to talk to him. Just... converse with him like we used to... but I don’t get my hopes high. He’s changed these past few days.

Making every loneliness I’ve ever felt more and more insignificant beside his abandonment.

"Sorry. The exercise earlier... It helped take away my worries. I feel better. Lighter. But also... weird." I apologise and explain inwardly and his seemingly exhausted voice replies.

"Weird is not a real explanation. Try again." He says in a dry and amused tone, and my lips twitch into a smile.

I adjust myself again, careful not to move much and wake Zephan.

"Fine. It felt good. Like I wasn’t... overflowing inside. Like all the pent-up energy in me finally had somewhere to go instead of crashing around." I then put into words how the mana flow felt, while also being glad that he’s finally talking to me again

"Good. Queen Selthía knows what she’s doing. Your channels have been blocked for a long time." He replies, and my brows crease.

"’Your?’ Isn’t it our body?? Also, you can use the word blocked. You make me sound like a clogged pipe." I scold, and he snorts in my mind, causing something warm to flicker through me. But I don’t say anything.

There’s a pause for a moment. A quiet one.... The kind that sits comfortably between two people who know each other too well... but then again, don’t.

I take a deep breath and let my head roll back.

"Elien" I call cautiously.

"Yes?"

"You’re my best friend. Do you know that?" I speak, and everything in my mind stills.

"...W-what?" he finally says, sounding so startled it almost makes me laugh.

"You heard me", I reply gently.

"You’re my best friend, Elien," I add with a smile I can’t even try to hide.

"Me? How... Elián, you’ve never even met me. I’m just a voice in your head." He protests and I shut my eyes and shake my head in disagreement.

"You’re not just a voice in my head," I argue stubbornly.

"You’re more than just a voice, Elien. You think differently. Feel differently. You see things I miss. You talk to me. You comfort me. And you’ve been with me long before I even knew you were there." I add, and he doesn’t speak.

Not even a whisper.

"You’re my brutally honest, cheerleading leader, fighter, and biggest support. However,.. You know more about me than I know about you." I continue, and I feel him fall silent.

"That... hurts a little. You hardly tell me things. Like right now, I know something is wrong... but you just won’t tell me. It’s almost like you don’t trust me." I add, and the silence in my mind deepens.

"So tell me about you, Elien, I want to understand you." I plead, and then I hear a long sigh in my head.

"Is this about Balinar?"

"No— Not exactly, but it’s a start."

"You really want to know?"

"Yes," I answer without hesitating.

"I want to know you."

Something inside me warms up... like surprise, soft, trembling, and unbelievably vulnerable... these are Elien’s emotions.

"Balinar... Balinar trained me to be a killer." He blurts, and my heart stops for a second.

Wh-what!?

"From the day he took me, that’s all I was meant to be. A weapon. A blade he could swing. Someone to kill for him, bleed for him, obey him..." He continues and I just blink into space listening to him.

"I was meant to be a pretty thing he could break." He whispers and my stomach turns as my heart tells me that fully understanding that sentence is not something I want to do.

"He wanted you..." I begin, but stop. Unable to say it

"To be his plaything." Elien finishes for me, calm in the way only someone scarred too deeply can be.

"He wanted ownership of me in every way. Behind locked doors, on the field, sexually... he wanted to own the very air I breathe. Break me and wrap me around his finger. He said he had never seen a thing as pretty... as me, and now that he found me... he would leave his mark on every aspect of my life..." He narrates and my heart tightens.

"He wanted the air I breathe to be whispers of his name. He liked watching people break, and he was... doing a wonderful job breaking me...But I... fought." He continues and as his voice tightens, tears fill my eyes.

His tears... my tears... our tears...

"He beat me when I disobeyed. Starved me when I talked back. Chained me when I tried to run. He used to leave me in the dark for days until even breathing felt like a sin... until breathing had a taste." He adds, and with the tremble in his voice this time, I can understand why it’s been hard for him to talk about this.

"Balinar didn’t want to hurt me physically. He said I was too pretty for that... so he broke me in how else he could best. Emotionally... mentally... If I thought my childhood with my Father was a nightmare... My time with Balinar... was far worse. Balinar wanted to break me to the point of crawling to him to ask him to mark me. He wanted me to be his, and he wanted me to be the one to ask go it. To be honest— he was very close to getting what he wanted." Elien continues and the cold room suddenly feels too cold.

"Elien..."

"Don’t pity me." He says quietly.

"I never gave him what he wanted most."

"Your zeal..." I whisper.

"Yes. He never got to break that."

My eyes burn.

"The day Lioran saw me and didn’t kill me... That changed everything. Balinar saw it. He saw the way Lioran looked at me. He realised I wasn’t just some boy in his possession." He keeps taking and my breath hitches painfully.

"He saw me as a key... A way to break BeastHeaven. To reach King Wilhelm. To drag the kingdom into chaos. Starting with the sons... the youngest..." He explains further and my blood runs cold. Could this be why Lioran hates him??

Elien’s voice begins to thin, growing faint around the edges, and my brows crease once I notice this.

"He started weaving plans around me. He sent me to infiltrate the Ashfang household. To be with Lioran while poisoning him slowly. At first I was going to do it... But then I realised Lioran was a good person with a pure, beautiful heart. I... I fell in love with..."

STATIC...

Elien’s voice gets completely cut off and all I hear is what sounds like Static.

A strange buzzing fills my head, and my eyes widen.

"Elien?" I call in confusion as this has never happened before, but I get no response.

No answer.

My heart skips a beat when I feel the connection between Elien and me waver... like water rippling violently.

"Elien? Talk to me!!" I call in my head, but I get nothing.

All I hear is silence. Deep, dangerous... unnerving silence.

"Elien?" I whisper aloud, panic curling tightly in my chest now.

Zephan shifts beside me but he doesn’t wake up.

As the silence in my mind begins to spread... my heart starts slamming against my ribs.

"Elien, answer me!" I whisper more aggressively as I clutch my head, breathing too fast.

I can’t feel him.

He’s gone.

I can’t feel his presence!!

Not even a flicker.

Not even the faint hum he always leaves at the edge of my awareness.

The place where I always feel him. That... warm, familiar, constantly occupied space... is empty.

Completely... horrifyingly... empty.

No. This can’t be happening!!

What’s happening!??

I leap out of bed, heart pounding hard enough to shake my vision.

"Elien!" I shout into the quiet room, terrified.

"Come on...come on, answer me..." I cry in panic, and still, I get nothing.

No voice. No presence. No warmth.

... Just silence.

Just a hollow, echoing silence that makes my knees weaken.

My breath trembles as cold sweat covers my skin.

"Elien..." My voice breaks.

"What’s happening...?" I croak as a tear escapes me, and for the first time since I learned he existed inside me...

I feel alone.

Utterly, terrifyingly alone...

What happened to him??

Where did... where did he go??

"Elien please... say something..."