Help! Five Beast Alphas Want To Breed Me!!(BL)-Chapter 194: What Does He Want?

Elián;

"They’re all so... happy," I whisper as I stare out the window of mine and Koda’s room, at the woods a little distance away.

I came to the castle to be alone, and still I can hear the commotion and celebration of the people.

How is it possible? To be that happy?

Is it possible? To be truly and fully happy? To have not a single... doubt or fear in your mind.

"You haven’t felt true happiness?" Elien questions, and I shrug as I sit against the window frame.

"Not that I can remember. My happiness has always been tainted with things I’d rather forget or not even think about." I speak out loud, and there’s a pause as I let my mind wander.

"I think I’ve just gotten used to burying things. I tell you, it’s a master skill now." I add with a small laugh, but nothing is funny.

I open my eyes and stare up at the clear blue sky this time. Memories rush at me and goosebumps rise along my skin.

"I’ve never felt truly happy, Elien. I don’t... know what that feels like..." I confess again, and he sighs.

"You’re wrong. You’re happy with Koda. You were happy when we kicked the shit out of that foul creature just minutes ago." He replies, and I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me.

"Yeah, that did feel good." I laugh out, and there’s silence again.

"I think what you mean to say is... You’ve never felt true joy. There are moments of happiness... but you’ve never felt that true... real joy that warms the soul." He says, and I pause.

I nod slowly as I let the words sink in.

"Yeah... that’s it... Joy... I lack that. And I want it so bad." I reply internally, and there’s silence.

"Me too, Elian. Maybe that’s why we were made to meet? I can help you find joy... and you can help me find mine?" He replies, and I smile at the thought.

"Find each other’s joy? How do I help you do that?" I laugh inwardly, and he sighs.

"I don’t know. For now, maybe we can dwell a bit on how stupid that rat looked when we gifted him that kick." He replies, and I laugh as I remember how we kicked that foul creature across the sand while holding a baby like some kind of dramatic, heroic lunatic.

I walk over to the bed and drop back onto it. I bury my face into a pillow and laugh softly into the sheets.

"Did you see his face, Elien?" I mumble aloud, still giggling.

"He looked absolutely stupefied!" I add, and Elien laughs.

"You’re welcome, by the way." He whispers, and I chuckle. I roll onto my back, grinning as I stare at the ceiling.

"Oh, I was getting there! Thank you, mighty spirit of violence and perfectly-aimed kicks." I reply, and all I get from him is a...

"Hmph." I imagine him crossing his arms.

I will confess. Just talking to Elien feels like such a reprieve from so many of my worries. I’m happy I have him. 𝗳𝚛𝚎𝚎𝘄𝕖𝕓𝕟𝕠𝚟𝚎𝕝.𝗰𝕠𝐦

"I had to do something. The idiot raised his hand to Seun. You’d have done the same if you were faster." He replies, and I laugh.

"If I were faster? More like if I had the skill." I reply, and Elien laughs.

"Honestly! I’m still impressed. That kick was art! You made me look like I take self-defence classes for a living." I add, and there’s silence for a while.

"You don’t," Elien says dryly. "But I did." He whispers, and my brows crease.

"You... did? Why? What do you mean you did?" I question in honest curiosity as I sit up.

"Before you... And all this, I had to find a way to survive. So, I was always training. I knew life was hard for a homeless, unmarked omega, so I never settled for being weak. That, plus the fact that Lioran taught me some things before... I left him." My jaw drops at his words, and I sit up slowly.

"You can fight!?"

"How do you not know that!? How do you think you got out of the sexual correction mess back at Howleroot? I mean... being a primordial gave extra strength, but yeah..." He replies, and I stay silent in complete awe.

"I can handle a few weapons, too. Daggers mostly. Sometimes a spear. It was one of the only things that made me feel... in control." He adds, and I can not contain my excitement.

"So, you mean to tell me... that half of me is a buttkicking, badass fighter!? Bro, I feel like a fucking super hero right now, do you even know how freaky this shit is!? I can fight without knowing a thing about fighting! Ugh, I wish I had you with me when those bullies used to crack down on me. We’d have been whooping ass for a living!!" I begin to ramble in my mind, and for the first time, I hear Elien laugh.

No. Not the short, monotone laugh he’s given a few times... I mean a long, proper laughter that seems to heal something inside me.

"You’ll never cease to amaze me with how many words you can say in one breath." He laughs, and I just smile.

"Well, I guess I have that freedom now cause I finally have people who listen," I confess, and then there’s silence.

"No matter what happens, Elián... I’m on your side. You’re never going to be alone for as long as I’m here. You’re a good guy. I’ll protect that." He replies, and I smile in glee as I close my eyes.

"Thank you..." I whisper as I roll onto my side. The air feels lighter now, and for a rare moment, everything feels okay...

Until there’s a knock on the door. I open my eyes and freeze as I stare at the door.

Koda doesn’t need to knock to come in, and I told Alana and Seun I wanted to be alone... So who could it be?

The knock comes again, and as the scent hits my nose this time, my eyes widen in disbelief.

There’s no way it’s him. What does he want!?