Ghosts Know What I Experienced-Chapter 38.2: Fellow daoist, you think there’s something wrong with my brain?

Chapter 38 Part 2

After saying goodbye to Pei Yu, Xi Jia went back to Poyang.

Returning to such a peaceful and serene small county town by the lakeside, Xi Jia’s aching heart slowly calmed down. The aunts and uncles selling at the food market smiled from ear to ear just like before and secretly stuffed some more food into their food basket. The lives of the residents in the city were smooth and steady, and each day passed in ordinary happiness.

After a few days like this passed, Xi Jia was no longer immersed in the grief and loathing mood as before. According to Pei Yu, after the villagers of Yuanjia Village woke up, they actually grabbed their farming tools and wanted to drive them away.

Tianci-daoren had a big temper. How could his temperament resemble Master Ye’s, who was the Xuanxue world’s moral model. Seeing this sort of situation, Tianci-daoren swatted these absurd villagers into the ground.

The unreasonable Yuanjia villagers were all dumbfounded. Their bodies were slapped into the ground by Tianci-daoren, merely leaving the head exposed above the ground. However, people like them didn’t believe that Tianci-daoren would dare kill so many people. They opened their mouths and incessantly insulted Tianci-daoren.

Tianci-daoren glared, “Aiyo eh, my short violent temper comes at it pleases.”

After speaking, Tianci-daoren sent a palm down from the sky, causing all the teeth of the villagers to break.

Xi Jia after he knew about the situation, “……”

Although Tianci-daoren was a bit……En, a bit violent, he somehow felt that it was invigorating?

After a few days, the entire SWAT team from C City in G Province rushed to this small mountain village and arrested all of the forty plus villagers. When they were arrested, these villagers were still not convinced and thought the police wouldn’t do anything to them. They acted the same as before and continued to violently resist and curse. In the end, they were ruthlessly taught a lesson by the SWAT who had already received orders from the top.

This matter had even became a headline of the day on “Ghosts Know.”

Every Celestial Master who read the article smoothed out their sleeves with fire coming out of their eyes. They were so angry that they wished they could run to those villages and cut down the intolerable group of villagers. However, they were Celestial Masters in the end and couldn’t kill people. Many Celestial Masters who were full of youthful vigor made all sorts of comments underneath “Ghosts Know.”

【 In the future, this poor daoist will go to more destitute places more often. If there’s any injustice, this poor daoist will absolutely not look on without lifting a finger! 】

【 I’m going too. Before, I regularly went to the mountains to find ghosts even though these kind of places have few people and not that many malicious ghosts. Even if my points will decrease and my place in the Modou Rankings will drop, I can’t hold it anymore. We, Celestial Masters, hunt ghosts and eliminate demons, isn’t it to maintain a beautiful mundane world? But, a lot of those bastards, they’re even worse than malicious ghosts! 】

【 Me too, me too. Next month, I’ll take a look at the mountains in the Central Region.】

Reality might be cruel, but there were always many wonderful people in this world who were striving to create a better future.

Xi Jia read the article and silently pressed like. After liking it, he saw a Celestial Master comment, “My points will decrease,” and he suddenly thought of an issue. Xi Jia jumped out of bed all of a sudden. He quickly opened his phone’s calculator and pressed a few numbers.

『16』

Xi Jia covered his face and deeply sighed.

Last week, Xi Jia asked for the address from Chen Tao and mailed a few small things that he bought at Poyang Ghost Market that could ward off evil spirits. Although Chen Tao didn’t understand why on earth Xi Jia would send these to him, he obediently wore them everyday according to Xi Jia’s instructions. Yesterday, he even sent a WeChat: 【 Hey, Brother Jia. You’re not kidding. After wearing this thing, I’ve been sleeping even more soundly everyday. 】

Xi Jia was never stingy when it came to buying things for his good brothers. Just like he was willing to eat ramen everyday and always cook fish for Song Song to eat.

Chen Tao’s things were all quality goods for exorcism from the Poyang Ghost Market. Good things were naturally expensive, and those three things totaled 16 points. At that time, Xi Jia had bought them very straightforwardly, afterall, it was using Master Ye’s points. Now that he recalled this debt of his, all sorts of feelings swelled up in his heart, and he felt restless.

The body would be lighter with no debt! Quickly settle the debt, or else it would be his turn to not sleep well when Chen Tao could sleep well.

Walking the talk, Xi Jia went on WeChat to find Pei Yu and asked him about some ways to earn points.

Charlatan Pei sent the methods in detail: 【 Ghost Hunt. 1 malicious ghost is 1 point. Ghost hunting is the easiest way to earn points. Anything else……selling magic treasures? It’s quite difficult to sell in private. But, if you enter Tian Gong Pavilion’s online shop and contact their customer service to set up a contract, you can sell things on there. Although the contract is too overbearing, you can still earn a lot of points. Why, Brother Jia? What’re you asking this for? Hell King Ye has so many points, he still needs to think of another method to earn points? 】

Xi Jia replied back: 【 It’s not Master Ye who wants to earn points, I want to know. That……is there another way to earn points? 】

Pei Yu was unable to make heads or tails of it: 【 What do you want to know about this for? Let me think, if it’s points……Oh, right! You can give “Ghosts Know” a submission. As long as they select a draft, it can earn at least 10,000 points, the feeling is so cool! 】

Xi Jia asked a couple times more, and Pei Yu could only think of these three methods. Xi Jia helplessly put down his phone. He took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Then, he pressed on the mark on his palm. Not long after, the mark lit up.

Ziying’s gentle voice lightly sounded, carrying a trace of surprise, “Xi Jia? Is something the matter?”

Xi Jia calmly said without a change in expression, “Ziying, long time no see. How are you lately?”

How could Ziying think that much, he lightly smiled, “Yes, long time no see. Are you not busy finding a friend? I will not be bothering you. I am fine lately. I have already finished studying all of the elementary math and English textbooks that you burned for me. I have pretty much finished reading the literature for junior high school. Lately, I quite like junior high school physics, and I’m studying it.”

Upon hearing this, Xi Jia was stunned. He never would’ve thought that Ziying would actually like physics. Could it be that Ziying had betrayed the main forces of liberal arts students and headed down towards the path of the sciences?

The two quickly started to chat, and Xi Jia gradually forgot his objective. By the time Ziying had expressed that he was going to study a question on specific heat capacity, Xi Jia suddenly recalled, “Wait, Ziying, I still have something to ask you!”

Ziying was slightly stunned, “What thing?”

“That is……That is……” The words were at the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t say them out loud. Xi Jia hesitated for a long time before he finally thickened his face and asked, “That is, um, lately, you and……you and the First Emperor, are you getting along? What is the First Emperor doing lately?”

Ziying laughed, “Why are you suddenly caring about Father Emperor’s matters?”

Xi Jia racked his brains, “This……right, the Xuanxue people have always been concerned whether or not the First Emperor would leave the Mausoleum. I’ve heard them say it a lot and got curious.”

How could Ziying be able to think that the kind and adorable Brother Jia would now exploit the pure him for some points? He straightforwardly said, “Father Emperor has already solved the problems of pond irrigation, Little Ming delivering books, and the train traveling at constant speed. The day before, Father Emperor came to lecture me again, saying that I shouldn’t be engrossed in these puerile minor arts. I then took out the reading machine and presented it to Father Emperor. He was greatly startled, thought it was some monster, and struck the reading machine. Therefore, Xi Jia, when will you be able to burn another one for me?”

Xi Jia, “……”

Papa First Emperor, you’re so wasteful!!!

Xi Jia indirectly asked a few more rather gossipy questions, and Ziying answered honestly. Speaking to the end, Xi Jia had already collected a pile of materials. Only writing the article was left. He impatiently said goodbye to Ziying and planned on settling the debt quickly. Ziying also seized the moment to learn physics.

Before they said goodbye, Ziying said some words with a voice carrying a smile, a hint of longing, and joy, “Father Emperor said that he will permit me to join him and appreciate his magnificent and countless Qin Army. Xi Jia, he really has forgiven me……”

Xi Jia had been immersed in organizing the material and didn’t pay attention to Ziying’s words. He said without thinking, “I’ll burn you a reading machine tomorrow.”

Ziying responded with a smile.

That evening, Brother Jia, as a pure science student who placed last in the whole class for literature during the Gaokao test, spent six full hours to write a voluminous article.¹ Everything in this article was practical!² He wrote about Ziying studying languages, math, etc., stressing Ziying’s innate talent for languages. He also wrote that the First Emperor was a tsundere emperor with poor math skills. He was obviously very bad at math and wouldn’t admit it no matter what, busying himself in arranging formations to do math problems in the Mausoleum everyday.

He earnestly checked the article over. Xi Jia even intentionally asked Master Ye to read it though.

When Ye Jingzhi received this article, he was overwhelmed by the favor. He read it over one word at a time. In the end, he nodded hard and didn’t even think, “It’s good.”

Brother Jia’s confidence greatly increased. Waving his arms wide, he opened “Ghosts Know”’s homepage and sent a digital copy of the article over.

Ten minutes later, “Ghosts Know” returned with a message.

Xi Jia tapped WeChat open with complete confidence, waiting for “Ghosts Know” to give him points. However, he saw a short line of words on his phone screen——

【 Ghosts Know: Fellow daoist, don’t fool me. If you fool me, you’ll get kicked by a donkey. 】³

Xi Jia, “……” What the hell is this?!

Xi Jia seriously typed: 【 Hello, I want to make a submission to “Ghosts Know.” 《 Daily Life in the Mausoleum of the First Qin Emperor 》has more than 10,000 words, and it can be published as a novel on the official account. This is a series of news. In the future, I will send some more material and cooperate with you ^_^ 】

En, politely sending a smiley face, should be amiable enough, right?

This time, the editor of “Ghosts Know” replied very quickly: 【 Fellow daoist, forgive my bluntness. We are “Ghosts Know,” not Compilation of Primary School Student Works or even the Complete Collection of Fairy Tales. 】

Xi Jia was instantly petrified, “……”

He typed back: 【 This is news! It’s a news article submission!!! 】

【 Ghosts Know: Hahahaha, news submission? Qin Shi Huang is bad at math, even tsundere and childish? Doesn’t use the yin soldiers to attack the Xuanxue world and uses the yin soldiers to arrange into a large formation of cows eating grass while idling all day long? 】

【 Xi Jia: Yes! 】

【 Ghosts Know: Qin San Shi is very studious, studies hard every day, and has completed the elementary school textbooks within two months. Now, he’s especially interested in physics. He even uses a reading machine and said to you that it’s so easy? 】

【 Xi Jia: Yes…… 】

【 Ghosts Know: Fellow daoist, you think there’s something wrong with my brain? 】

【 Xi Jia: …… 】

【 Ghosts Know: Fellow daoist hi, fellow daoist bye. 】

Xi Jia, “……” Although he also thought that they sounded like nonsense, they were really facts!!!

Xi Jia exasperatedly opened up the past news of “Ghosts Know.” He looked at the 《 I Share the Golden Age of Da Qin with You, Chapter 1 》 that Lanling Kuku Sheng wrote. Brother Jia flew into a rage out of humiliation and read the article three whole times. Finally, he concluded, “The First Emperor and Ziying are in a love-hate relationship in the Mausoleum? That’s absolute nonsense! Ziying has clearly been studying hard and teases the First Emperor on occasions. He has never begged the First Emperor for forgiveness while crying loudly!”

These extremely dog-blood things and tear-jerking emotional writings, Xi Jia simply couldn’t write them.

Brother Jia can’t do it ah!!!

Additional Author’s Comments:

Yesterday, I said that if C+ had a kid, then it would be called JA.VA (Jia-wa). That’s still fair reasoning. But……C++ is C++! What the hell is C艹!!!

Watch out when Brother Jia teaches you a lesson ah!

T/N: 艹 is sometimes used as a censor for f*ck/sh*t/etc.

Translator’s Notes:

¹ 高考 Gaokao test – National College Entrance Exam ↵

² 干货 practical – literally dry goods. But in this context, it’s to be practical or actual, goods without the “excess water weight.” ↵

³ 莫驴我，驴我被驴踢。Don’t fool with me, fool me and you’ll get kicked by a donkey – Joke lost in translation. The “fool” here literally translates to donkey → Don’t “donkey” me, “donkey” me and you’ll get kicked by a donkey. ↵