Future Pet Shop-Chapter 45: How to Sell Cheeky?

"It’s not just last night’s wine that brings tears to my eyes; It’s not just your sweet touch that makes me hate to say goodbye; For the road ahead, how long will you still be holding my hand; What’s so hard to bear is this struggle to be free..." In the KTV room, after more than an hour of singing children’s songs back-to-back, Shen Yibin had finally started practicing a new piece.

"Stop! Start over. The very first line was off-key—half a step too high." Cheeky leaned comfortably against a cushion, sipping fresh-squeezed juice through a straw while mercilessly critiquing his singing. "Sigh, why am I so unlucky? Stuck with a shop owner who has absolutely zero musical talent. The thought of having to live with you for a long time makes me want to have a breakdown."

’Seriously, your constant criticism is making *me* have a breakdown!’ Shen Yibin had thought that after graduation, he’d be free from his teachers’ reprimands. He thought that after quitting his job, he’d no longer have to endure his boss’s heartless insults. He never imagined that now, as a shop owner, he’d still be tormented by a verbal assault. And the worst part was, the one cursing him out was his own pet! ’I feed it, I give it drinks, and what do I get in return? Not a single kind word, just this torture. What on earth did I do in a past life to deserve this?’ 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞

But no matter how frustrated he was, he had to endure it. Back in school, if you didn’t listen to the teacher, the worst that could happen was your parents being called. At work, if you couldn’t stand the boss’s criticism, you could just quit. But if he failed to serve this little lord, he’d end up in prison picking up the soap! At the thought of the potential consequences, Shen Yibin could only suppress his frustration. He slowly set down the microphone, went back to the song selection screen, and cued up the recently popular song again. Closing his eyes, he recalled Cheeky’s earlier pointers and tried his best to correct his mistakes as he began his Nth attempt.

"JINGLE JINGLE~TAP!" Luckily, Hah’Er was there. It constantly used a tambourine to help Shen Yibin keep the rhythm and cheer him on. Whenever he paused even for a moment, Hah’Er would diligently offer him juice to soothe his throat. That was the only reason Shen Yibin had managed to endure Cheeky’s torment this long without storming out of the room.

To be honest, though, it was just like when Hah’Er coached him in cooking. Under Cheeky’s constant guidance, Shen Yibin felt his karaoke skills had actually improved quite a bit. If nothing else, the beginning of this new song was starting to sound decent. While it was still a far cry from Cheeky’s level, it was a massive improvement compared to how he used to sing.

The three-hour ordeal was finally over. Shen Yibin pulled open the door to their private room, and the waiters who had been gathered outside eavesdropping scattered in an instant. After paying at the front desk, Shen Yibin headed for the pet store with Hah’Er in tow and Cheeky perched on his shoulder, drawing stares from pedestrians on both sides of the street.

"Phew~" Across the street, Bai Yanni let out a sigh of relief from her police car as she watched them. Just moments ago, several drivers in the middle of the road had been staring so hard their eyes nearly popped out. Luckily, there wasn’t much traffic right now, so no accidents had occurred. Otherwise, it would have been more work for them. "Sigh, I have to tell Bin. He can’t take Hah’Er out for a walk during rush hour. Someone’s going to get killed!"

At this thought, a pang of jealousy welled up in Bai Yanni. She considered herself quite a beauty, and her ability to turn heads on the street was nothing to scoff at. But she still couldn’t compare to Hah’Er. Her lethal charm was limited to men and a few women. Hah’Er, on the other hand, captivated everyone, regardless of gender or age—from ninety-nine-year-olds down to toddlers who had just learned to walk. No one could see it without freezing in their tracks.

"Okay, I get it. I’ll be more careful in the future," Shen Yibin replied to Bai Yanni on WeChat. ’Thinking about the timing, I took Hah’Er to the park before most people started work, and I’m heading back from the KTV before they get off. It shouldn’t cause any major problems. It’s just that from now on, if I want to go out, I’ll probably have to check the traffic first. Thank goodness I’m not in a gridlocked city like the Imperial Capital. Otherwise, I’d never be able to leave the house all day.’

"Bin! Fresh bamboo shoots just came in! Want to get some for Hah’Er?" the owner of the fruit and vegetable shop called out warmly as they passed. Ever since people saw a panda buying bamboo shoots from him, his business had improved significantly. Everyone figured that if it was good enough for a panda to eat, his vegetables must be genuinely fresh and pesticide-free.

"Sure, we’ll take some. Hah’Er, go pick them out. By the way, do you have any fresh lamb?" Hah’Er had really enjoyed the Sichuan-style braised lamb yesterday, so Shen Yibin planned to make lamb again today, only this time he was thinking of grilling it instead of braising.

"Oh, right. Cheeky, see if there are any fruits you like?" ’He couldn’t forget the little lord on his shoulder. If he only remembered Hah’Er and not him, he’d definitely be in for another round of torment when they got back.’

"Apples? Sprayed with preservatives. Inedible! Bananas? Picked green and ripened artificially. The flavor is completely off! Strawberries? Still have pesticide residue on them. How dare they sell this stuff?" Before the owner could even make a recommendation, Cheeky flapped its wings and launched into a tirade. Hearing this, a young woman nearby who had just bagged a few apples quickly put them back. Seeing this, the shop owner’s face turned as black as the bottom of a pot. ’Seriously? Are you here to ruin my business?’

"Oh, these cherries aren’t bad. Bin, buy them for me!" After circling the fruit shelves, Cheeky finally picked out a fruit it deemed edible. Unfortunately, by then, most of the customers in the store had already left.

’Next time you show up, I swear I’ll chase you out with a broom!’ The owner was now filled with regret. ’Why the hell did I have to open my big mouth? But wait, that’s not what my supplier told me. Looks like I need to find a new supply chain.’ At this thought, the owner felt a wave of relief. ’It’s a good thing I found out early, before any irreparable damage was done.’

"Hey, I’m really sorry about that. I didn’t do a good enough job checking my stock. I promise this won’t happen again." A shop like this relied on repeat customers; in a way, Cheeky’s words might not have been a bad thing for him. "These wild cherries are on the house. Thanks for helping me spot these issues."

After some polite back-and-forth, Shen Yibin accepted the owner’s kind offer. He returned to the store carrying a pile of cherries, bamboo shoots, and lamb. Thinking back on the day’s events, Shen Yibin felt utterly exhausted. ’Sigh, Cheeky is just too hard to please. Who would ever want to buy a pet with a personality like that?’

’I originally thought that since this thing looked good and sang beautifully, lots of people would love it. But now it seems that’s not the case at all. Who could stand its incessant nagging? And on top of that, the requirement to play music or sing for two hours every day... finding a customer who meets those conditions is going to be incredibly difficult.’

Where could he go, and what kind of owner could he find for Cheeky? Shen Yibin fell deep in thought. ’I wonder if three months will be enough time.’