From Broken to Beloved-Chapter 181- I’m not worthy of him

But if he were the one to leave first, he feared there would be no one to take care of her. He worried that she would not live well without him...

No matter which ending it was, he could not accept either.

He even found himself resenting the world—resenting the very existence of death. Why must people die? Why can’t they live forever, stay with the ones they love, and remain happy for all eternity?

While waiting for the dishes to be served, Bert’s mind kept circling around these chaotic thoughts. When the waiter knocked and entered with the food, he finally snapped back to reality. Realizing what he had been thinking, he gave a helpless, self-mocking smile. He really was losing his mind.

Yet he also knew—it was because he cared too much that he kept thinking such foolish things.

Still, Bert couldn’t help feeling that Catherine did not depend on him the way he depended on her. Just look at her: the moment Riley invited her to dinner, she agreed without hesitation, not considering his feelings at all. And as soon as work ended, she happily went to meet her friend.

That made Bert feel extremely unbalanced.

Hmm. He decided that when they got home tonight, he would properly interrogate her in bed—ask her whether she truly loved him. Otherwise, how could she so casually leave him behind to dine with someone else?

Catherine, of course, had no idea that Bert had followed her. She was happily chatting with Riley in their private room.

Riley ordered wine and insisted that Catherine drink with her.

Because Catherine had once gotten drunk and ended up letting Bert take full advantage of her, she absolutely did not dare to drink again. But Riley refused to let her off. She said she was truly too happy today—she had finally found her happiness, and no matter what, Catherine had to drink with her. Left with no choice, Catherine gave in.

As Riley drank, she gushed about how much she envied Catherine’s happiness. Then she fiercely complained about Ford, calling him a sly old fox—how he had forced her into a relationship by visiting her parents, how he tricked her into taking wedding photos without really understanding what was happening, and all the ways he had "bullied" her. When she got especially angry, she even slapped the table.

But to Catherine, Riley’s "complaints" sounded more like proof of how much Ford cared for her. Rather than thinking he was terrible, Catherine felt he was actually very devoted.

At first, when Riley and Ford became close, Catherine had only thought Ford seemed like a decent man. She had not truly felt how serious he was about Riley. But after hearing so much today, she believed that Ford’s feelings for Riley were genuine.

If he had not truly fallen in love, why would he go to such lengths—planning every step so carefully?

Just as Catherine had once believed Bert’s love for her was only a kind of fast-food romance, there were indeed men in this world who treated love casually. They would claim to like someone, say "love" in a few sentences, give up after a week of chasing, and then move on to someone else.

Men like that would never invest so much thought and effort into a single woman.

But Ford was not like that with Riley.

First of all, they had known each other for over a year. They had spent plenty of time together and had long since grown familiar. Second, everything Ford did clearly showed his intention to marry Riley. If he were only playing around or being half-hearted, what man would scheme to get a woman to take wedding photos with him? Most men would be desperate to avoid marriage talk altogether.

Riley was still fuming, and in her anger she gulped down glass after glass of wine. It would have been bad enough if she were only drinking herself, but she insisted Catherine drink with her too. Catherine had originally planned to take only a few sips, but in the end she drank several glasses as well. Not only did she fail to persuade Riley to slow down—she ended up drinking just as much.

Catherine was only slightly tipsy, but Riley was completely drunk.

She snatched up her phone in a fury.

"No!"

"I can’t let him keep controlling me like this—I’m breaking up with him!"

Riley started dialing Ford’s number. Catherine hurried to stop her.

"Don’t do this! Calm down!"

But Riley wouldn’t listen. She had already been upset about being "schemed into" the relationship, and now the alcohol made her even more impulsive. She brushed Catherine’s hand aside.

Catherine sighed helplessly.

"I really think he’s sincere to you. And you don’t even dislike him. Try getting along with him properly—maybe you’ll discover something unexpected."

What Catherine wanted to say was that Riley actually had feelings for Ford too. But she knew that saying that now would only make Riley more embarrassed and angry, and would push her even harder to break up. So she only said that Riley did not dislike him.

But Riley’s reason had already been swallowed by impulse. Without caring about anything else, she connected the call and shouted angrily into the phone,

"Ford, I’m breaking up with you!"

"Breaking up! Breaking up! Breaking up!"

"I’ve had enough of you bullying me and pressuring me!"

Catherine hadn’t expected her to actually say it. She rushed forward, grabbed the phone from Riley’s hand, and said into it,

"She’s drunk. Don’t listen to her nonsense."

Riley, now without her phone, slumped onto the table, still muttering,

"I want to break up... I want to break up..."

On the other end of the line, Ford was silent.

A suffocating silence.

Catherine could feel that he was angry. She tried to salvage the situation for Riley.

"You know her temper—it’s always been impulsive. And she’s had some wine—"

Her words were suddenly cut off by Ford on the other end.

"I can understand her impulsiveness," Ford said coldly, "but after everything I’ve done for her, does she really feel nothing at all?"

"Even you, an outsider, can see it, yet she remains unmoved. My heart is made of flesh too. If she wants to break up, then I’ll grant her wish."

After saying this in a harsh voice, Ford hung up.

Catherine let out a long, helpless sigh and looked at Riley, who was slumped drunkenly on the table.

Why did she have to put herself through this? She clearly had feelings for Ford—so why would she keep rejecting him?

As if sensing Catherine’s thoughts, Riley murmured in pain,

"Cici... I’m not worthy of him... not worthy of him..."

"Tell me, what do I have? No good family background, no successful career, not even a good temper or personality. How could I possibly deserve him? We’re so mismatched—like a toad trying to eat a swan."

"Of course, I’m the toad. He’s the proud swan."

Catherine burst into laughter. What girl would describe herself like that? A toad? She was clearly the swan.

In Catherine’s eyes, Riley was kind, cheerful, honest, and radiant with her own beautiful light. And Catherine believed that in Ford’s eyes, Riley was just as wonderful—that was why he had fallen in love with her.

She was not worthless. She did not need to feel inferior. In the eyes of the one who loved her, she was flawless.

Catherine stepped forward, gently stroking Riley’s back to comfort her.

"You are not a toad, and you don’t need to belittle yourself like this. In love, there is no such thing as ’worthy’ or ’unworthy.’ When two people love each other, that is the best match of all."