Flip the Coin [BL]-Chapter 273. Favorite Color is Blue (by Robert DeLong feat. K.Flay)
"Let’s do the hypnosis," I told the doctor.
Henry gripped my hand with both of his, his head snapping to me.
I got out of his hold and put my arm around his neck to pull him closer.
"Every time I relax, I see his memories. It will happen one way or another, and I feel safer going down memory lane when you are here." I whispered in his ear.
It was true, and I knew that these memories would come anyway. And there was still the small chance that the faster I got it over with, the faster I would be rid of the giant.
Henry seemed reluctant, but he nodded, showing he understood.
Dr. Lawrence watched us, nodding as well.
"Good. Henry, please take a seat somewhere else."
Henry looked at me until I smiled at him. Only then did he stand up and walk to the door again, where he had a good view of both of us, leaning against it with crossed arms, ready to act if something went wrong.
"Lie down comfortably. We will try a different approach today." The blond doctor advised, addressing me.
"Mhm." I followed her instructions.
"What is your favorite color?"
"Blue."
"Good. Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself surrounded by ’blue.’"
I thought of the sky or the ocean, the wind, the clouds, the water, the waves, but ultimately, I imagined myself in strong arms, blue eyes staring down at me.
"Breathe in and out. Know that you are safe. No matter what you see or feel, you are safe, and you have everything under control right now."
The picture changed, and I straddled Henry while looking down into his eyes. Everything around us was blue.
A smile bloomed on his face as he held onto my hips. I bent down, my hands on both sides of his head, to look closer into his eyes.
"Nothing will happen to you. You decide what you will see, and you decide what you won’t see. Blue is always surrounding you. And when you want to wake up, you just need to walk toward it."
I pressed my lips on Henry’s, looking into his eyes and watching his widening pupils, the smile, joy, and hunger glimmering from behind the blue as he slowly closed his eyes in absolute devotion.
"Empty your head. When thoughts come, let them pass; just watch from an outside perspective. Trust yourself, even if you are shown pictures that scare you. Trust that you can handle whatever is shown to you."
I dissolved the kiss and slowly straightened up, still sitting on him.
His eyes opened, and he watched me again as I looked straight ahead. I still felt his hands on my hips as well as his eyes on me, and I knew nothing would happen to me.
The blue turned into smoke of the same color, and behind this smoke screen, I could see two shadows.
They walked toward each other, mirroring their actions.
They bent down, straightened up, rolled their hips before falling to the ground, jumping up, and coming closer to each other.
They hugged before pushing away, again falling, standing up, they grabbed each other’s wrists before twirling, letting go, and falling again.
Like a dance, they came closer before distancing themselves, a beautiful, shadowy overture that signified the start of a play as soon as the curtain would rise.
A hand far bigger than both of them appeared behind them.
It grabbed the shadows, bringing them to the big pharynx behind the blue smoke, swallowing them.
After the overture had been devoured, I saw small red pupils above, staring at me, moving rapidly but halting as they spotted their next prey.
The terror crawled up my body, immobilizing me from my toes to my scalp; only my ice-cold hands could move as I sank my fingers into Henry’s body beneath me.
I raised one hand and conjured up my gun, pressing it against my temple, when my eyes fell onto Henry’s.
I lowered the gun again upon seeing the beautiful blue and gaining reassurance from it. While I was mesmerized by his serene expression, the whole picture changed again.
The stark blue eyes turned to a human blue; the beauty mark remained, but his hair turned short. It was still him, but also not; his face turned angry, and he wasn’t lying down anymore, instead standing right in front of me.
My gun disappeared, and my hands bent behind my back, where they were chained by a rope, as I was now suddenly sitting in a chair.
"What do you think you are doing?" I ask him.
"I told you, I warned you again and again, didn’t I?" He yells.
I look around and see that I am bound to a chair; we are at the back of the ruins that served as our school. He had brought me inside the little hut, even going so far as chaining me.
I smile at him.
"And you think this will help convince me?"
"Stop talking to her; stop trying to rope her into the fantasies you have succumbed to!"
"If she asks me questions, I will answer her."
His fist strikes my face, and everything turns dark for a few moments. When I come to again, he punches me again.
"STOP LYING TO HER!"
"I am not lying," I say, spitting out blood.
"It is there; the layers are here. Just a light push, just a light pull, and there are things you can’t even dream of!" I look at him, feeling a frenzy arise as I smirk.
"Things that take your breath away, things that devour you whole, things that will let you appreciate life and curse it all the same. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING. In this reality, you may hate me; in the next, you may feel the opposite."
I laugh.
"Nothing matters because all has happened, all will happen, all is now, and now is yesterday as well as tomorrow."
Hannibal steps back, his face contorting, before he comes back and punches me until I vomit blood, until my chair falls back, until I see stars amidst the fine lines—like chipped marble, like folded wings.
He kicks my stomach repeatedly.
He crouches down, grabs my hair, and pulls my head up so that I can look at him.
"You are talking like a demon, matching your eyes, which are just as evil. Don’t you understand? There is only this one hellish life, this hellish reality. I won’t let you poison her—the tales you are telling her are no more than a devil’s whisper."
"Kenneth, I am asking you again: stop this lunacy. You are exactly where you ought to be."
"No..." I whisper; breathing hurts, and speaking is just the same.
"There is a reason. I know there is. There is a purpose in what I am seeing and in what I am feeling. I know there is. Nothing that is happening here matters. There is so much more, so much more to see. You don’t understand a thing."
Nobody understands.
But I do. I know.
I know.
So many variations of families, friends, and lovers that are not mine and will never be.
But not only that; there is even more: landscapes, creatures, monsters, suns and moons, earths, forests, trees, buildings, humans, technologies, wisdom—there is nothingness, and there is everything; there is everything out there.
"There is more... I know there is so much more... Not only this life... more, I just need to find it... This is not all; you have no idea. There will be things the likes of you will never understand."
Hannibal’s face turns back to expressionless as he stands up and stares down at me.
"You have already lost your mind, haven’t you?"
"I AM MORE SANE THAN YOU WILL EVER BE! YOU ARE NOT AWARE OF THE THINGS I AM AWARE OF!" I scream.
"You... you really..." Hannibal turns around and pauses before he walks out the door and leaves.
He doesn’t understand.
But I do.
I am alone again.
I look at my blood and vomit on the ground, not feeling any pain anymore. There is only silence around me.
"There is no need for anyone to see when it is I who can do it," I assure myself.
"One is enough; one is enough to see under the sea of blind."
"I will leave this place, and I will find happiness."
"I know that I have a purpose, and that nobody can take this purpose away from me."
"I have a purpose," I whisper into the silence.
"I will never return to the gray when I can finally see these beautiful, beautiful colors."
