Endless Debt-Chapter 913 - 39: The Void Heart (Part 3)

The past in memories is wonderfully perfect, yet Church feels no resonance with such beautiful memories, as if recounting another person’s past.

"I’m really scared of becoming a boring adult, but in the end, that’s what I’ve become."

Church rubbed his face hard to relax his tense muscles, and at the same time, his appearance started to change, no longer the face Bologue was familiar with, but one remembered by Afeiya.

The faceless man.

Bologue could somewhat understand Church’s predicament; from the start, Church was using a false face towards Afeiya, the deeper he fell, the more afraid he was to show his true face.

"I’m not sure if this is a void of thoughts or utilitarianism. I’ve started to reject things I find meaningless, like Afeiya. There are so many challenges between us, even if we successfully hold hands, how long could it last?"

Church’s voice was filled with emptiness, "It’s meaningless."

"That sounds utterly void."

Bologue was somewhat shocked, not expecting Church’s real thoughts to be like this.

"Probably."

Church said indifferently, just as he spoke those words, the dreadful emptiness lingered deep inside his heart, even after saying such things, his emotions had not changed at all.

"Sometimes I feel sad and hurt. I find myself disgusting and loathsome for rejecting things on the grounds of ’being meaningless.’ But when things truly come to me, I find it hard to muster any motivation to admit they have meaning."

Church paused for a moment and repeated again, "Recognizing oneself is a difficult process."

Bologue sensed the emptiness swirling around Church, he said, "Is this considered sober descent?"

"Consider it as such."

Church gazed at the flower shop, "I know where my issues lie, and how to solve them... as long as there is a love for life."

Before finishing speaking, Bologue felt a cold gaze, he looked to the rearview mirror and met an entirely different face.

"But, Bologue, I can’t even face others with my true face, how am I supposed to love this world?"

Church expressionlessly spat out his emotions like a machine.

"All my identities are false, and the feelings extended from them become elusive."

Bologue said, "You can show your true face to others, not just Afeiya, Palmer is also expecting this."

One of Palmer’s major fixations is to figure out what Church’s true face really looks like. Although Church said the face he shows Palmer is his true self, Palmer always does not believe it.

Church is a person entangled in lies.

"The problem is," Church’s voice lowered, "I can’t."

"We have time."

Bologue thought Church was unable to overcome this obstacle mentally, but only Church knows he is bound by his Secret Energy, the more people know his real information, the more they will forget about him the next time his Secret Energy activates.

Everything is futile.

As if by some bizarre coincidence, Church muttered to himself, "Guess how many times Palmer and I have known each other."

"What?"

"Oh, nothing."

Church pushed open the car door, at this moment Palmer had already walked out of the flower shop holding a bouquet of flowers, waving it vigorously towards Church, and behind Palmer was Afeiya peeking out, looking at Church with surprise.

"I thought you had left the city."

Afeiya still remembered Church, hearing her voice, a hint of excitement appeared in Church’s barren, void heart, showing a natural smile on his stiff face.

Just as he talked with Bologue, Church couldn’t be certain if his feelings for Afeiya were ones of love, or a comfort chosen from solitude and emptiness to vent such pain.

No matter what the essence of these feelings is, Church admits that in the moment he approached Afeiya, he could feel a brief liberation from the shackles of emptiness.

"No," Church shook his head, "just away on a business trip."

"Where did you go?"

"Kagader Empire."

"Wow."

Afeiya’s eyes sparkled, "I haven’t been to such a far place."

This small city is Afeiya’s world, the distant Kagader Empire seems like a legend from stories.

"What kind of place is that?"

"Well... just an ordinary place, not much different from here, people just live out their long days on familiar land."

Church went to carry out a mission, didn’t have time to appreciate the scenery... well, there were some peculiar places.

"I passed by a place called the Iron Ruins."

Afeiya sent a curious look, not knowing what kind of place that was, "Is that place interesting?"

"Somewhat interesting."

Church didn’t explain much, it was a graveyard filled with blood and death, completely out of place with the girl of flowers, Bologue listening on the side felt the same.

Bologue was aware of the existence of Iron Ruins. During the Period of Scorched Earth Wrath, the Kagader Empire’s fleet was severely damaged, to counter the Rhine Alliance’s naval power and prevent enemy landing, a large number of damaged, nearly sinking ships rushed ashore onto the beach, their hulls severely damaged but their cannons still functional.

These shipwrecks were transformed into fortresses by the Kagader Empire, the entire coast filled with these wrecked ship fortresses... After the war ended, that area had already become a steel wasteland, sounding like another Wrecked Ship Shore, but much grander and more twisted. 𝒇𝓻𝓮𝓮𝙬𝙚𝒃𝒏𝓸𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝓬𝓸𝒎

It is said that a large number of soldiers’ corpses are still hidden in the corners of Iron Ruins today, waiting for someone to discover them.

The aroma of flowers drew closer, Afeiya invited the few inside the flower shop to sit, Bologue looked at the colorful floral clusters, wanting to pick one to give to Aimou.

In this cold, smog-filled city, flowers are a rare luxury, Bologue thought Aimou might like this.