Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 86: Silence Please

10 May, 1359. Magdaline Castle, Islia

Camilla sat in an armchair near her bedchamber window, her knees pressed up against her chest and her eyes staring vacantly. A part of her mind vaguely registered that it was probably a lovely spring morning outside, but most of her thoughts were bleak.

How long had she been hiding in her apartments?

It had been a few days but she wasn’t sure quite how many. Day merged into night and back again from behind her tightly shut drapes, so why did it matter?

It was ironic, she thought. This time last year, almost to the day, she’d also been spending most of her waking hours alone and shaking with fear in Magdaline Castle. She’d sat in the bedchamber she’d been allocated when Prince William had first brought her to Islia. She’d thought at the time that it would have been impossible to feel more hopeless.

She had been wrong.

So much had changed in a year. But she was still utterly alone and scared.

She knew she should seek comfort in her friends but her mouth refused to say the words. The shame of telling them what Richard had done to her was just too great.

Instead, she’d shut them out completely, pleading illness and refusing to leave her apartments. Despite their daily cajoling to see her and pleas for her to at least summon a physician, she had refused to open her door.

She had trapped herself in silence, refusing to be part of the dancing and jousts taking place throughout the court to celebrate the arrival of another spring. The only people she’d briefly let inside were her maids, who brought her bath and trays of food that she barely touched.

Camilla bathed alone every day with the hottest water she could stand, scrubbing her skin with soaps and scented oils. She would stay in the tub until the water turned cold and her fingertips grew wrinkled.

No matter what she did, she still felt dirty, as if something about her was now tarnished. She feared that if anyone else saw her, they’d know the truth of what had happened and look at her with disgust.

At best, they’d accuse her of lying and trying to smear a nobleman’s reputation out of spite.

At worst, they’d say she encouraged and even enjoyed his advances. People might even think she’d been the one to seduce Richard to try to improve her standing at court.

Camilla had gone over that afternoon in her mind too many times to count. Why did she decide to stay behind alone by the creek? Would she have been able to outrun Richard if she hadn’t stumbled? Could she have fought against him harder, even though he’d choked off her air?

She felt nauseous every time she remembered the feeling of his hands roughly groping her body.

She was so angry at herself, for being stupid enough to end up alone with a man she’d mistrusted from the very beginning.

She couldn’t even find escape in sleep. She’d lie awake at night, replaying every horrible detail in her mind. When she eventually drifted off, her sleep was filled with terrible dreams. She’d feel his hot breath against her ear, laughing and telling her she was getting what she really wanted.

It was torture.

Camilla had even thought about asking one of her ladies to share her bed, to help ease the suffocating panic at night but quickly decided against it. She was worried she might say something in her sleep that would lead to questions being asked. Questions she’d never want to answer.

Richard had been right when he’d told her that she was nothing. She blinked back tears, feeling truly worthless.

- - -

William was heading towards the stables when he heard a female voice calling out. Turning around, he saw a young woman rushing towards him. When she reached him and gave him a breathless bow, he realised she was one of Princess Camilla’s ladies.

"Apologies for troubling you, Your Highness." gasped the young lady, trying to catch her breath. "I was hoping you might be able to help me."

William’s mouth twisted in irritation. He’d been hoping to go out riding alone and avoid everyone for a few hours. He tried not to sound too brusque when he replied, "And how would I help you, Lady uhhh, Kate...?"

"I am Katerine Stuart, my lord. And the help isn’t for me, it’s for the princess."

"Camilla?" Despite himself, William found himself giving the lady-in-waiting his attention. He hadn’t seen the princess for days, having heard she was ill.

He hated to admit it but every night she was missing from dinner in the banquet hall, his heart would sink in disappointment at the sight of her empty seat. He didn’t understand how he could miss someone who refused to so much as look at him. But lord, he did miss her.

Katerine’s face creased with worry. "Yes. Something has happened, my lord. Something awful, but Her Grace won’t tell us what’s wrong."

"What are you talking about?" William stared at her. "I heard the princess was unwell. Is it serious? Has a physician been called?"

"No, my lord. She has locked herself away in her bedchamber and refuses to see anyone, not even a physician. She won’t speak to us about anything except to say that she’s battling illness. I think she’s lying, though. I think she’s hiding something. Meg and Bess both agree with me."

William remembered how close Camilla was to her three ladies. It sounded out of character for her to suddenly stop seeing them with no explanation.

"When did this all start?" he asked. The last time he remembered seeing Camilla was when he’d stumbled upon her bathing with her ladies in the forest creek. She’d seemed her usual self then.

"A few days ago, my lord. Everything was normal and then one evening, she suddenly refused to join the court for dinner. She told us through her door that she was unwell." Katerine shrugged. "We didn’t think anything of it and just left her alone to rest. But she refused to open her door the next day, and the day after that."

William gave the young woman a hard look. "There’s more though, isn’t there? Something else making you suspicious. What else aren’t you telling me, Lady Katerine?"

She hesitated but then explained in a halting voice, "The princess has insisted on bathing completely alone lately, without her servants. That in itself is odd. A couple of days ago, one of her maids entered the bedchamber with fresh towels while the princess was still in the tub. The princess had her back to the door and Bonnie said her back...it was uh..."

"What?" What about it?" William snapped impatiently.

"Bonnie said my lady’s back was covered in bruises and marks, like she’d been attacked by a wild animal." Katerine murmured.

William had no idea what to think. "What? That doesn’t make any sense."

"It doesn’t make sense to us either, my lord. But Bonnie swears it’s what she saw."

"And what would you like me to do about all of this?" William asked.

"I was hoping you’d try and talk to her. Perhaps she’ll tell you what’s wrong."

He shook his head slowly. "It won’t work. If she won’t confide in you then I doubt she’ll tell me anything either. Besides, the two of us quarrelled a while back and haven’t really spoken since." 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞

Katerine was undeterred. "But she trusts you, Your Grace!"

William gave her a sad half smile. "No. She doesn’t." He knew exactly what he’d done to break Camilla’s trust and how her reaction had been completely justified. A wave of shame rushed through him. He looked down at his boots, praying Katerine wouldn’t ask him for more details.

Instead, the young woman crossed her arms and stared directly at him. "You have been her friend, my lord. And despite whatever argument you’ve had, I know she trusts you. Please at least try talking to her. You might be able to help."

William felt himself backed into a corner. Groaning in defeat, he said, "Alright then, I’ll try. But I can’t promise it’ll do any good."

Katerine nodded. "Thank you. Let’s go then."

"What - you mean now? You want me to see her right now?" So much for his peaceful morning of riding.

Seeing Katerine’s resolute face, he reluctantly let her lead him back to the south wing of the castle.

When he entered Camilla’s presence chamber, he found it empty apart from her two other ladies who were both sitting and looking restless.

He knocked on the bedchamber door and got no reply. "Camilla?" he called out, knocking harder. "I want to speak with you."

Silence.

Rapidly losing patience, William turned the door knob. It was unlocked. He swung the door open and strode inside the dim room with the curtains still drawn shut. It took a couple of moments for his eyes to adjust to the sudden gloom.

As soon as he entered, Camilla hastily stood from the armchair she’d been curled in.

He was taken aback when he saw her properly. Even in the darkened room he could see her delicate oval face was completely drained of colour, apart from the bruise-like shadows under her eyes. There was no spark of emotion or recognition on her face, as if they were complete strangers.

Wlliam swallowed nervously. He’d have preferred her to still be angry at him instead of staring at him so blankly.

"Good morning, Your Highness." Camilla said in a wooden voice, then cast her eyes downwards. "Can we talk another time? I prefer to be alone today."