Earning the Love of a Princess-Chapter 118: Doubts

13 June, 1359. Magdaline Castle, Islia.

Tession looked up from his notes as he heard the knock on the door to his quarters. He called out for whoever it was to enter. A moment later, the Princess of Moraigth swept in while carrying several books.

She flashed him an apologetic smile. "Good morning, Tession. I apologise for holding on to these for so long. I’ve been meaning to return them but the days all seem to be blurring into one at the moment." She placed the books in a stack on a corner of the already cluttered timber bench.

Tession returned the smile. "It’s quite alright, my lady. I know your days are full."

Camilla sighed and dropped onto one of the timber stools. "I know that’s to be expected. A royal wedding is a big event and I don’t wish to sound ungrateful for the efforts of everyone around me. But I wish my days were a little less intense. I’m not naturally very comfortable amongst crowds."

"You prefer the quiet?

"Very much so. I’ll be glad once the wedding is over and I’m no longer the centre of the court’s attention." She smoothed her skirt down uncomfortably. 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺

Tession didn’t have the heart to tell her that she would continue to have dozens, hundreds of eyes on her even after she was wed. She had captured the attention of many as an orphaned foreign princess and would continue to fascinate as the wife of a rich, handsome prince. There would always be spiteful, envious eyes on her, especially from ladies.

The old man thought it best to change the subject. "I assume you’ll want to borrow more books. What do you think Lady Katerine would enjoy next?"

Camilla looked up at him. "You know." She was making a statement, not asking a question.

Tession laughed heartily. "Of course! You young people think you’re all so clever at hiding your intentions. But to an old man who’s seen a lot of what life has to offer, you’re not terribly clever at all."

"I’m not trying to cause trouble. I just don’t understand why a lady being able to read is so frowned upon here." Camilla’s voice was defensive. "We’re not going to use the ability to plan terrible things or become witches, whatever the people here might whisper about me."

"I know that better than most, Princess." Tession’s response was gentle. "To deny knowledge to half of a people on account of their sex is foolish to the extreme. I can’t condone that."

"Then you won’t tell anyone about Katerine’s secret?" Camilla stared pleadingly at him.

"Of course not. It’s not my secret to share." Tession replied stoutly. Camilla smiled in relief.

"I took the liberty of setting aside a few books I think both of you ladies will enjoy." The old man gestured at a pile of books stacked next to his tallest bookshelf. "You’re welcome to take them all now or grab a couple and I can send the rest to you with William. Do you know if he’s stopping by here at any point today?"

The princess looked at him blankly. "I’m not sure. I haven’t seen him since breakfast and I doubt I’ll see him again until dinner."

"But where will he be today between those two events?"

"I don’t actually know." Camilla confessed. "I’m not very familiar with his day. I don’t really know what he does or where he goes." She looked down at her lap.

"Why don’t you ask him? As his future wife, it’s not unreasonable for you to become familiar with his routine, is it?"

"I suppose not..."

"Then why are you hesitating, my lady?" Tession raised his bushy grey brows at her.

Camilla wriggled uncomfortably on the stool. "I guess it’s because I’m scared too many questions will disturb...this," she waved a hand in a vague gesture, "...this peace between us. I know William loves me and we’re happy but...how long can such happiness last?" Her eyes were anxious when she looked at him. "How long until he tires of me or another girl catches his eye?"

Tession regarded her quietly and let her voice her fears.

"I mean, I know life isn’t a fairytale and that marriage doesn’t necessarily equate to happiness. In fact, for a lot of people it’s quite the opposite." Camilla smiled wryly. "William once told me he didn’t expect marriage to ever change his life, that he wanted to carry on his days regardless. I hardly think having me nag him with questions on his whereabouts will be well received."

Tession nodded in understanding. "William grew up expecting a loveless, purely political marriage, so I can understand why he was determined that a wife would change nothing for him. But you’ll be quite a different wife to him, don’t you think?"

Camilla nodded slightly but remained unconvinced.

"You can’t go through life tip toeing through your marriage because you fear overturning the apple cart." Tession advised her kindly. "You have to be honest with each other. That’s how marriages grow. Sometimes you’ll clash, but the odd quarrel is the nature of a good relationship, I should think."

"Well, we’re not strangers to that. We clashed plenty before our betrothal."

The old healer laughed. "Oh yes, I was quite aware. Whenever William would storm in here looking as cross as a baited bear, I knew it meant you weren’t on good terms."

Camilla blanched. "He told you about our quarrels?"

Tession chuckled at her horrified expression. "No, I could just tell. That lad doesn’t talk about such things. He doesn’t really talk about much of anything, actually. It’s not a healthy way to exist, refusing to confront what upsets you. I can only hope that in time, he learns to confide in you, my lady."

Camilla toyed with her hands in her lap for a moment, then blurted out without warning, "He misses his friend terribly. Sir Richard Bentworth, I mean."

Tession watched her thoughtfully. "Does that truly surprise you?"

"Not at all." Camilla returned his stare. "But I think it does William. He’s surprised by the depth of his feelings, I mean. It’s almost like he’s never truly missed someone before."

"He probably hasn’t." Tession said. "Apart from perhaps Her Majesty, William’s closest family have always been his childhood companions. He and Sir Richard have always been joined at the hip. And now he has forsaken that love between brothers, to create room for the love between the two of you in his life. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel the loss."

"I don’t want him to end up resenting me because he felt forced to choose between Richard and me."

"But he did have to choose." Tession’s voice was firm. "Life is full of choices, Princess, and some are difficult ones. I believe he chose right and more importantly, so does he. I see contentment in him that didn’t exist before you were in his life. Just give him a little time to get used to the changes."

"Do you think he’ll ever change his mind and decide he made the wrong choice? That he should’ve chosen his friend?" Camilla asked, her face pale.

Tession chuckled again, much to her shock. "The two of you are similar in so many ways, it’s quite uncanny. The doubts you have about your future with him, he has the same for you."

"Really? I can’t imagine that. William is unbothered by most things."

"He’d like everyone to think so, but I’ve known that lad since he was in the cradle. He fears he’ll never truly win your trust, that you’ll never be able to look past his reputation as a terrible womaniser."

"Wait. Isn’t that reputation a well deserved one?" Camilla shot back.

"Yes, which makes it even worse for him. If you two simply talk to each other instead of trying to meet some imagined idea of perfection that you think the other person wants, you’ll both be better off." Tession rumbled at her.

Camilla nodded, letting his words sink in. "I’ll do my best to follow your advice." She tipped her head slightly as she regarded him. "For an unmarried man, you seem to know an awful lot about marriages and relationships in general."

Tession picked up his quill and dipped it in the ink, smiling. "This old man will take that as a compliment."

Camilla stood up to take her leave when she stopped and said pensively. "You spoke about William and Richard being inseparable but I know William also spends a fair amount of time with you. Yet, not once have I ever seen you speak to Sir Richard. In fact, now is the very first time you’ve even mentioned him to me. How is that possible?"

"Sir Richard and I never crossed paths. He never saw the need of advice from an old man." Tession said simply.

Camilla nodded. There was no more he needed to say to her. He’d told her everything she needed to know.