District 42-Chapter 188: Defective simulation

The darkness seemed to last forever. Casper was falling slowly into what seemed to be just a vacuum of shadows and black paint. He couldn’t breathe at all, nor see his own limbs, feel, smell, taste...

In reality, he had a single dominating and strange feeling. It was like each part of his body was being destroyed and rebuilt several times, and very fast. Something similar to get together all the little fragments of a broken glass, just to break it again, then do the same thing over and over.

Each time that he visited that room, the moments into the darkness seemed to last for longer than the previous one. He didn’t know why, but it probably had something to do with the machine trying to dig deeper and deeper into his memories, his personality, and his fears, to reproduce the simulation at its peak, verging on perfection.

Before he could notice what was happening, the soldier was looking to the ground, crouched, and holding firmly a pistol in his hand.

The same thing that happened in the previous times occurred again. His mind became dizzy. For a moment, he forgot even his name, as if he was mind-blanked.

As long as basic information about his life returned bit by bit, everything seemed more clear; he was able to move his body and look around.

"What was I doing? I can’t remember at all... Is it... Is it a mission? Did the Marshal ordered something?" He thought. For some reason, his voice was really loud inside his mind. He even got scared for a while, but it started to become lower with time.

"I am confused... What should I do now?"

As if his ears weren’t working before, he began to hear someone calling him.

"Hey, Casper... Casper... Casper!"

He breathed a lot of air at once, inflating his lungs, like he just had come to the surface after being immersed in water.

"H-Hey, are you okay?" The person that called him started to pat his back while he coughed.

"I-I am sorry, Ana... I am...!" He looked at Ana, and then his body just stopped again. He gazed intently at her face, and she returned the gaze, seeming to be dumbfounded.

"Are you really okay? I mean, you are acting all strange..."

Casper gripped his pistol more tightly, trying to find the safety and confidence he needed into that tool for killing.

"I am... I don’t know... I was a bit aloof..."

She seemed to be surprised now, rather than confused. Ana raised one brow and stared at him with a perplexed face.

Sighing, she put both hands on his shoulders, shaking him slightly.

"Get real, colonel! Snapback to reality, please! We need you at your 100% today, you know?"

"Yes...!" He faltered for a while.

Then, the colonel got pensive: "But... For what exactly I need to stay focused...? I am supposed to do something today? Was it a test...? N-no it was a mission, a mission! There is no test at all..."

Ana shook him again, moving her hands to his face, and forcing him to look into her eyes.

"Colonel, you are not understanding at all... Pay attention to what I say! I know you are pretty confused about what to do now, ok? I know very well. But there is nothing we can do about it. Orders are orders, and they must be followed."

Casper shook his head.

"I can’t lose you... I just can’t lead everyone to..."

"I know! You said it already, ok? Don’t turn things harder than they already are, please... Please..." She was begging him, doing a painful expression.

"We already talked about it, colonel. But there is no other way to go. You need to do this. Suicide mission or not, that’s what you need to do as a soldier. And if you don’t do it, I have authority to take the responsibility in your place."

Casper avoided her eyes. They were watered, and without noticing he let a tear go down through his face, falling on the ground; but once it landed, it was like 10 tons had hit the ground. The whole world seemed to shake around him.

"What!? D-Did you feel that?"

Ana tilted her head.

"Feel...? But, what?"

The soldier raised from the ground, looking around. He was on a high plane, bordering a slope.

At the end of it was a building surrounded by other constructions and camps. His memory was coming back again, faster and faster. It made his headachy in a matter of seconds, and he needed to press his temples with his hands to lessen the pain.

He felt that Ana involved him in her arms while he did so, saying words to comfort him. However, the pain kept increasing. It was pulsing, as if ready to explode.

"This complex... This city... I remember, we can’t go there, we can’t... If we do, you will...! Ana!" He was thinking about what to say, but nothing came from his mouth.

Ana couldn’t hear him and just hugged the colonel more tightly.

"I can’t let them go... Please, I can’t!" After he thought that, he fell.

Again, he was in that pitch-black place, falling and falling. His consciousness seemed to be on the verge of fading at any time, but he persisted in maintain himself awake.

After what seemed to be years of wait, he found himself falling to the ground, hitting hard his shoulder, but not feeling any pain.

Again, his mind went blank, but this time it didn’t last too long for his memory to come back.

He knew exactly who he was, and where he was, and what really was going on there. 𝐟𝐫𝕖𝗲𝘄𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝕧𝐞𝚕.𝕔𝕠𝐦

"That’s... That’s the simulation...?" Why can I remember everything? And... I am not supposed to know that it isn’t real, right?"

He looked around again and saw a scene that was familiar to him. His team of the Yanke Forces was surrounding the borders of a military camp. They were hiding behind the trees around there. It was about 50 people, all well equipped, with the highest level of training at the Yanke Forces. Soldiers of the highest degree, that often faced difficult situations, passed for different sorts of hellish missions and tough training.

They were covered with black clothes and wore a mask that just let the eyes showing.

They were all focused at that military camp, staring seriously at it, but also glancing at Casper from time to time.

"They are waiting for my signal..." Casper saw that his hand was raised, making a fist. He knew that once he opened it and pointed to the camp, those soldiers would start the operation.

Casper’s breath became unsteady.

"What’s happening here...? Why? Why this memory? Wasn’t it to be a simulation based on memories? Why is the exact situation happening now!?"

He gritted his teeth, his hand was trembling, a sharp sound was echoing inside his mind. The darkness of the forest behind them seemed to pull Casper, like an invisible force.

"Hey... Hey, First, Second, Third! What’s happening here...? Hey!" No response at all.

Casper looked to his own hand, trying to open it, but his fist was so tight that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. His fingers seemed to be made of stone.

"I should open my hand by now, but... I..." Suddenly, Ana appeared in front of him again. She had serious eyes and a furious expression.

"Hey, why don’t you open your hand? Why are you holding so much? People are trying to fulfill their duties here, you know? You are ruining everything! Millions will die if you don’t open your freaking hand, Casper! What are 45 lives compared with millions!?"

"We are talking about my friends’ lives here, damn it! How can I prevent myself to evaluate them so much!?" He shouted, his voice crossing the quiet forest, then disappearing completely.

The darkness seemed to be stronger than before, his headache returned, and this time, Casper screamed in pain, kneeling on the ground.

His scream shook the ground, just as much as his single tear made.

When he thought that once again he would be immersed in that pitch-black place, falling eternally, he heard a loud sound of something being torn off, and then his eyes opened at once.

First, Second, and Third were near Casper, crouching, the three of them with their hands on his body, like they were trying to wake him up.

"What the hell happened?"

The triplets looked at each other, their eyes widened.

"Casper... You just made something unusual... I think it happened just a few times before... Man, you are a surprise box..." First rubbed his mask, sighing.

Third looked at him concerned, and Second maintained her contemptuous look, but more intense now.

Casper put both hands on his head, raising his upper body from the ground.

"Can someone stop to look at me like this and explain what the heck was happening, and why the machine did that to me!?"

He begged, but no one answered.