Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 68 - Papaya Flavored Senior Brother Gong (6): Current completion rate: 0.1%!
Chapter 68 - Papaya Flavored Senior Brother Gong (6): Current completion rate: 0.1%!
Translator: KunLin
How the discussion went between the Myriad Poison Clan and the Harmonious Sect remained a mystery, but the rest of their journey in the Jiangbei district went unimpeded.
When they left the district, they entered the Myriad Poison Sect’s domain where experts with sleeves full of devious methods lurked like clouds, causing Yue Qian and the others to be on high alert, but fortunately, they soon met with people from the Three Qing.
The Three Qing’s party of 30 were heading towards the Southern Mountain to participate in the Martial Arts Conference as well, and when they learned of Old Jiang’s predicament, they immediately offered to help. As for Gou Liang’s entanglement with the Demonic Cult, Old Jiang and the rest unanimously decided to keep it a secret.
With the help of the additional people, the pressure on Yue Qian was greatly lightened. The Demonic Cult was sent packing each time they attacked.
As they traveled further south, they met up with processions from the Fan Yin Pavillion, the Nine Underworld Tower, and the Shaolin Temple. The Demonic Cult didn’t dare to continue acting recklessly, but Yue Qian and the group never lowered their guard and only relaxed after they entered the Southern Sword Sect’s territory.
The Martial Arts Conference held every 5 years was a big occasion in the Martial Arts circle. The taverns of the Southern Mountain City were packed to the brim and the streets were alive with practitioners wearing their sect’s robes and equipped with weapons of their choice.
The group had only just arrived at the foot of the Southern Mountain when they were greeted by several fast steeds and a woman’s clear voice, “Senior Brother!”
But when Si Tushuang came over, she failed to see Yue Qian and instead saw Jiang Suxi who had an adorable appearance.
She recalled the letter she accidentally saw in her Master’s study that Old Jiang wrote to proffer marriage and her gaze when looking at Jiang Suxi carried a trace of hostility. But she couldn’t do anything under so many eyes, so she asked after the health of the elders then walked to Si Tubai’s side, “Where’s Senior Brother? Didn’t write to Dad that he’s coming back with you?”
Si Tubai said helplessly, “Senior Brother and Miss Ye had something to do in town—”
“What, that woman is here as well?!”
Si Tushuang’s expression warped, and without a mind to care for anything else, she got on her horse and rushed towards the Southern Mountain City.
Si Tubai: “…”
Cao Gengwu, Sect Master Si Tu’s second disciple, apologized, “My Junior Sister is at a lively age. Elder Jiang, Martial Uncles, please be lenient if she’s impertinent.”
The group waved it off good-naturedly.
Meanwhile, the Senior Brother that Si Tushuang yearned for was walking behind Gou Liang with a concerned expression. Yue Qian continued to persuade him, “Ye Gui, don’t eat anymore…eating cold and hot things at the same time is bad for your stomach…why don’t we come back tomorrow…”
Gou Liang paid him no heed and happily visited every stall and restaurant that he saw.
He wasn’t even satisfied yet, but Yue Qian was already being a worrywart.
Si Tushuang found them patronizing a dessert shop.
Yue Qian carried a mountain of take-outs in his arms and was paying Gou Liang’s bill. The shopkeeper gave the desserts wrapped in oil paper to Yue Qian after receiving the money and the pile in Yue Qian’s arms grew high enough to cover his chin. Gou Liang saw the other’s happy appearance while spending money and thought it was a pity he had been too rich in the past worlds and never had the chance to “buy buy buy” on someone else’s credit.
Gou Liang wanted to say something, but Si Tushuang interrupted him, “Senior Brother!”
She pounced over, but Yue Qian, with both hands full, quickly dodged aside so she wouldn’t knock Gou Liang’s precious food onto the floor. He casually acknowledged, “Junior Sister”, then turned back to Gou Liang, “The Southern Mountain branch of the Embroidery Tower is up ahead, do you want to go take a look?”
Si Tushuang saw his lackluster response to her appearance and seeing how he only paid attention to Gou Liang, her eyes went red from anger. “You vixen, what are you doing here at my Southern Mountain!”
“Junior Sister!”
Yue Qian gave her an admonishing look.
Gou Liang saw the little girl was about to cry and waved his hand, saying with a smile, “So it’s Miss Si Tu. I have missed you dearly since our last meeting. Little beauty, did you miss me?”
Si Tushuang saw him walking towards her and leaped back. She glared at him with false bravado, “Why do you keep sticking around my Senior Brother? I’m telling you, my Senior Brother is a hero of the righteous faction, he won’t associate with vixens like you!”
“Oh, really?”
Gou Liang smiled strangely and looked at Yue Qian, “Even if I’m sticking to him, what can you do about it?”
“You—”
“Enough!”
Yue Qian noticed a curious crowd peeking at them from outside the shop. He furrowed his brows and said, “Who told you it’s alright to call people vixens? Ye Gui is an upright person and has nothing to do with the unorthodox faction. Do you understand the trouble you will cause her if you label her carelessly like this? She and I have things to do, when you return to the sect, copy the sect’s rule one time. The next time you act like this, I’ll really punish you.”
This made Si Tushuang cry in anger for real.
But to Gou Liang’s surprise, she didn’t stomp her feet and ran away this time. Wiping her tears, she muttered, “What are you so busy with, isn’t it just accompanying her to eat, drink, and play? Hmph, Senior Brother, I’m more familiar with the town than you. I’ll accompany her to where she wants to go, so there’s no need to trouble you.”
Yue Qian looked awkwardly at Gou Liang, “My Junior Sister is still young and her intentions are not bad. Don’t take what she says to heart.”
Gou Liang was amused and gestured for them to lead the way.
Si Tushuang’s identity was much handier compared to Yue Qian, a Senior Brother who rarely left the mountains. As they walked, many peddlers took the initiative to greet them and stuffed them with goodies from a private stash.
Ordinarily, Si Tushuang wouldn’t accept the gifts, but she wanted to show off today and didn’t refuse. But unfortunately, her Senior Brother couldn’t grow three arms so she ended up getting sore arms from carrying the presents. Si Tushuang looked at Gou Liang who didn’t have anything in her hand and looked at her Senior Brother who was not only perfectly content despite being made to work, but was even enthusiastically asking Gou Liang if he wanted this or that. She angrily stomped her foot.
When they entered the Embroidery Tower, the shopkeeper greeted them warmly upon seeing Si Tushuang.
The shopkeeper ordered someone to take her baggage and said, “Miss Shuang, you must be in a good mood today to have bought so many things. Please let our Embroidery Tower bask in the good fortune as well. Please, take anything you like if it catches your eye, and of course, don’t worry about having to carry it. I’ll have someone deliver it to the mountain later so you can shop freely.”
Si Tushuang’s mood improved.
She threw a smug look at Gou Liang but unexpectedly, the shopkeeper mistook the things in Yue Qian’s hands for her things as well, and took them away to be placed into the readied horse cart so it could be delivered to the Southern Sword Sect at a later date.
Si Tushuang puffed her cheeks up, but in the end, she couldn’t embarrass her Senor Brother in front of other people.
The shopkeeper naturally kept nothing from the daughter of the Southern Sword Sect’s Sect Master. He immediately showed them to the second floor where the valuable items were held. In the section upstairs were damask, gauze, silk, satin, and every precious textile imaginable, as well as a dazzling selection of dresses with gorgeous embroideries.
Si Tushuang was like a child, and when she saw all of this, she momentarily forgot why she was angry.
“Senior, do you think I’ll look good in this—”
Si Tushuang gleefully turned around, but where were Yue Qian and Gou Liang anywhere to be seen?
When she found them, Gou Liang was holding up a piece of clothing against Yue Qian. She couldn’t hear what Gou Liang said, but Yue Qian blushed and smiled. When he lowered his eyes and looked at Gou Liang, there was only one person in his eyes and his gaze was incomparably gentle. He didn’t even hear her calling for him.
At this moment, Si Tushuang became painfully aware of something—Senior Brother is going to be stolen away by that vixen QAQ.
Southern Sword Sect.
“Stinky brat, you still remember to come back?!”
Sect Master Si Tu’s voice arrived before his person. The moment he saw them, he lunged over with a sword. Yue Qian pulled Gou Liang behind him before parrying the attack.
The master and disciple pair exchanged no less than 100 moves, leaping up and down the courtyard and the roof as their Sword Qi clashed.
The junior apprentices watched in awe. Cao Gengwu was the first to regain his composure and hurriedly said, “You must be Miss Ye, Third Junior Brother told me about you. This one is called Cao Gengwu, ranking second in seniority. My Senior Brother has troubled Miss during the trip.”
He was already thirty this year. He smiled and looked at Gou Liang like he was scrutinizing his future daughter-in-law.
Gou Liang smiled and returned his greeting.
Meanwhile, the master and disciple pair finished up their playful spar. Sect Master Si Tu glanced at Gou Liang and slapped Yue Qian’s back, guffawing, “Look at you, brat! You’re quite lucky with w—cough, not bad, not bad, hahaha!”
He quickly changed his words after a look from Yue Qian, but the damage was already done.
Yue Qian felt helpless and introduced his Master and Gou Liang to each other.
Gou Liang smiled, “Ye Gui greets Sect Master Si Tu.”
Si Tu Zhang Tian waved his hand, “We’re not big on formalities here at the Southern Sword Sect. You can’t call me Master like the brat just yet, so call me Uncle.”
Gou Liang called out “Uncle” and Si Tu Zhang Tian’s laugh became even merrier. He then turned around and made a surprised sound, “Who made our Xiao Shuang unhappy? Look at your little mouth, you’re pouting so much I could hang an oil bottle on it.”
“Dad!”
Si Tushuang glared at him. Her eyes flickered between Yue Qian and Gou Liang, and she couldn’t bear to stay any longer.
Si Tu Zhang Tian watched her scowl and run away and felt at loss. He called over his son, “Go take a look at your sister. It’s almost time to eat, where is she running to?”
After saying this, he called for Gou Liang to join them inside.
Dinner was made by their Fourth Junior Sister that night. She married a Junior from the sect so she had yet to separate from her Master, just like Cao Gengwu and his wife.
Upon seeing Gou Liang, Lin Xiuniang tugged Yue Qian’s hand and gasped, “Goodness, Senior Brother, how many lifetime’s worth of luck did you use up?” She turned to Gou Liang whom she just praised and told her to make herself at home, saying they were here to help if she was unused to anything. She assured Gou Liang to ask Yue Qian for anything she wanted and that she was free to go anywhere in the Southern Sword Sect: after all, none of them here were sticklers for formalities.
She was clearly treating him like Yue Qian’s wife.
It couldn’t be helped. The moment Si Tubai gave a thorough report on Yue Qian and Gou Liang’s daily interaction the moment he came back. Gou Liang was a “lady” and the two were even sleeping in the same room together at night; if she wasn’t given a clear status, wouldn’t a member of their Southern Sword Sect become rogue?
Gou Liang’s smile grew wider when saw Yue Qian being so shy that he could only stand in one spot and combust.
Yue Qian was occupied by the two three-year-old kids from Lin Xiuninang and Cao Gengwu’s family but his ears never stopped listening in on the sly. The conversation he overheard made his face so red that he didn’t dare to look over. He only turned around when he felt Gou Liang’s gaze—
His eyes narrowed ever so imperceptibly when he saw his Fourth Junior Sister holding Gou Liang’s hand intimately.
Lin Xiuninang was unaware that anything was wrong. Yue Qian came over carrying the two children and stuffed one into her arms, forcing her to release her hand.
Yue Qian breathed in relief but unexpectedly, the imp in his arm suddenly lunged at Gou Liang, “Pretty Jie-Jie, hug!”
Gou Liang’s smile froze.
Seeing his reaction, Yue Qian saw an opportunity to tease him and intended to leave the kid in Gou Liang’s arms. However, the little imp patted Gou Liang’s chest and his limpid eyes revealed confusion.
Gou Liang: “…”
Yue Qian: “…”
Yue Qian coughed and took the child away and placed him on the floor. He gave the little imp a stern look.
But the little imp had always been a bit slow and didn’t fear him at all. Instead, he clung to Gou Liang’s leg and babbled sweet words while asking for a hug. When Lin Xiuniang’s son saw this, he made a fuss to get down, and the two boys—one on the left and one on the right—clung onto Gou Liang’s legs while striving for favor.
Cao Gengwu saw this and turned to Si Tubai who had raised to him concerns about Gou Liang’s personality, “Children have the most accurate impression. You should lay your concerns to rest.”
Si Tubai watched Gou Liang who was crouching to reason with the little imps and also let out a breath in relief.
Cao Gengwu then asked, “Where’s our youngest Junior Sister? Is she in her room doing embroidery?”
Si Tubai: “…Senior Brother, save me, I’m about to die from stress.”
Cao Gengwu let out boisterous laughter and expressed that although he sympathized with him, his hands were tied.
That night, Gou Liang didn’t get to stay in the same room as Yue Qian. After all, they weren’t “official” yet. The Head Disciple of the Southern Sword Sect still had to act with decorum. However, Yue Qian couldn’t feel at ease, so he took his sword and guarded outside Gou Liang’s room.
Si Tubai didn’t see him in his room, so she came to find him and said angrily, “Senior Brother, what medicine did that vixen feed you for you to be so bewitched that you can’t leave her side for a moment!”
Yue Qian hastily quieted her. He listened intently and when he heard no movements inside the room, he relaxed and whispered, “Why are you running around at this time of the night instead of sleeping in your room?”
“This is my home, I can go wherever I please!”
Si Tubai retorted, but upon seeing Yue Qian scrunch his brows, her demeanor weakened and she said sadly, “Senior Brother, can’t you wait for me to grow up? When I grow up, I-I’ll definitely be more beautiful than her!”
Yue Qian: “…”
Gou Liang: “Pftt.”
He couldn’t keep his laughter down.
Yue Qian was stiff all over. He hastened to widen the distance between him and his Junior Sister, “Nonsense! How old are you this year? It’s too soon for you to think about these messy affairs!”
Before he thought his Junior Sister was merely a child throwing a child’s fit, who knew she actually thought of him that way. Yue Qian felt an incoming headache.
Si Tushuang wept, “But who am I to marry if not you? There’s no one better than Senior Brother in the world. I don’t want to marry someone inferior to you!”
Yue Qian: “What are you saying? Junior Sister, my feelings towards you are the same as Third Junior Brother. You shouldn’t indulge in any fantasies.”
“So what. Aren’t I destined to marry in the future? I refuse to leave Dad and everyone else to marry away. But you are the best among our Southern Sword Sect, I don’t want the other people.”
“…”
Yue Qian didn’t know what to say.
Gou Liang pushed open the door, “Come here.”
Yue Qian rushed over to him like he saw his savior. The door closed and Si Tubai’s weeping grew louder outside.
Yue Qian’s face was stiff, “My Junior Sister is still young, I’ve let Brother Ye see a joke.”
Gou Liang laughed, “And here I thought she was deeply in love with you but turns out…but I do have to praise her vision, haha.”
Yue Qian begged to be spared, and Gou Liang had enough fun at his expense so he took him to rest. Not long after, Si Tubai appeared and carried away Si Tushuang who was sobbing heartbreakingly.
Gou Liang slept soundly but Yue Qian was unable to sleep.
The scenes from today played in his head—he used to only care about revenge and never thought about getting married, but ever since Gou Liang came to his side, his mind involuntarily began forming an image of his “wife”.
That person would also thread needles to make clothes for him, cook for him, and rest beside him.
Other than the issue of his sex, Gou Liang was even more perfect than any of his fantasy.
But at the same time, he was nothing like it.
He bossed him around, made him mad, made him feel helpless, made him worried and restless, made him feel joyful, and made him…want to stay by his side and guard him forever in this mundane but exhilarating way.
Yue Qian knew that other than this person, his heart would never feel this way for anyone else again.
He was happy to see how his Master and the others accepted and treated Gou Liang with fondness. Although he knew it was a misunderstanding, he didn’t want to clear it up at all and was thrilled when Gou Liang didn’t object.
But truthfully, he could never really tell what Gou Liang was actually thinking. He even suspected that the other only teased him to get a kick out of it. In the end, he would merely smile and brush past everything like he did every time he playfully poked fun at him.
Yue Qian grew increasingly restless the more he thought about it.
He carefully peeled off Gou Liang’s arm that was sprawled over his chest and got up, wanting to go for a walk or practice his sword, or really anything so long as it distracted him from his tangled thoughts.
Gou Liang grabbed his waist and sat up as well, saying groggily: “Where are you going?”
“…To the lavatory.”
“Oh.” Gou Liang released him and laid back down in bed without ever opening his eyes. In an unhappy tone, he said, “Be quick about it.”
When Yue Qian came back, his heart was still beating like a drum. Gou Liang drilled into his arms, using his arm as a pillow and hugged him tightly before relaxing and slowly drifting to sleep again.
Yue Qian clenched his fists then relaxed it.
“Ye Gui…what exactly goes on inside your head…towards me, do you…”
“En?”
Gou Liang was half asleep and didn’t hear what he said. But when he asked again, Yue Qian refused to repeat it.
Gou Liang tutted and pinched his face, “What are you acting like a meek woman for? Are you going to say it or not? If you don’t say it, I’m going to call you Wifey Yue from now on instead of Hero Yue~”
What in the devil was “Wifey”…
Gou Liang was even using such childish psychological warfare on him. Yue Qian didn’t want to run away from the topic any longer. He hugged Gou Liang and sat up, “My Master and the others are all treating you like my…my wife who has yet to cross over the door. How do you feel about it?”
“What is there to feel?” Gou Liang was surprised but a smile quickly appeared, “It only shows that they have good visions and understand that I’m the most beautiful in the world.”
Yue Qian held the body that was laying bonelessly against him and made it sit up straight. He said with all seriousness, “Ye Gui, what if I say…I’m okay with you being my wife?”
Gou Liang’s eyes were round with shock.
Yue Qian retracted his hands from Gou Liang’s shoulders and let them hang by his side with tightly clenched fists. He said hoarsely, “You, didn’t you say you needed a new identity for your disguise? I-if you became my…wife, then after I kill the Left Guardian, no one would ever dare to bother you again. Is it not the best of both worlds…?”
“The best of both worlds?”
Gou Laing chuckled, “I get a new identity, but what’s in it for you?”
“I…”
Yue Qian didn’t know what to say. He heard Gou Liang laughing and thought the other was mocking his wishful thinking. His face paled and his heart froze like it was dunked into freezing water.
Gou Liang lifted his downcasted head, “Hero Yue, could it be you covet this young master’s beauty like those from the unorthodox faction?”
Yue Qian opened his mouth and didn’t know how to explain. The smile in Gou Liang’s eyes cooled, “Could it be you really take me for a woman simply because I dress like one?”
“O-of course not!”
Yue Qian vehemently denied it.
“Then why?”
“I, I…”
“Can’t say it? Humph, if it’s so hard for you, then fine, don’t say it—”
“I want to marry you!”
Yue Qian saw his cold smile and when the other was about to retract his hand, he blurted out in desperation.
Gou Liang was stunned and his blushing face betrayed him: Fuck, I give this confession 100 points!!
“Ye Gui, I’m being serious. I, I want to be with you.”
His words surprised even himself, and upon seeing Gou Liang’s incredulous expression, his heart was both afraid and hopeful. He had no more thoughts to spare for any feelings of embarrassment and pushed on anxiously.
“You…did it slip your mind that I’m a man?”
“Of course not!”
“Then were you being serious just now?”
“Yes!”
Yue Qian’s expression was both determined and anxious.
Gou Liang thought about. He suddenly lifted his head and bit Yue Qian’s lips, “Do you want to do things like this with me?”
Yue Qian: “…”
Yue Qian’s face was beet-red. He turned around and buried himself in the cover.
“I’m asking you a question.”
Gou Liang chased after his heels mercilessly. Feeling the other’s burning cheeks, he felt like a pervert bullying a young maiden. He smiled, “Wifey, are you feeling shy already? But you said you wanted to marry me, wasn’t that an invitation?”
“I-I…”
“What, was I imagining things then?”
“No…”
Poor inexperienced Yue Qian was led around by the nose and Gou Liang found it to be exceedingly amusing. He lowered his head and gave the other a kiss. He was about to pull apart but Yue Qian reflexively chased after him, pressing their lips together.
They looked into each other’s eyes—
【Ding, the mission progress bar has increased. Current completion rate: 0.1%!】
【Amidst the heartbeat going “badump badump”, the system fought to be heard: Ding, this is just a friendly reminder. The target’s current favorability value: -100 [Bolded in red] 】
