Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 36 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (15): Sustainable Food Prop. Male God, mwah!
Chapter 36 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (15): Sustainable Food Prop. Male God, mwah!
Translator: KunLin
Editors: Amaris, Mimishijie
“ChongFeng, are you really going to accept this drama?”
After reading the entire script, Gou Liang furrowed his brows.
《River Mountains》—This movie was an imperial court drama full of sadomasochistic feelings.
The dynasty’s Empress Dowager had given birth to two sons which resulted in increasing internal struggles with schemes and ambitious people everywhere. In the end, she decided to give up the healthy and hard-to-control younger son, supporting her eldest son who was impotent to ascend to the throne.
She had originally thought that this would be an era where she alone ruled; but who would’ve expected that her eldest son, who appeared to be weak and submissive, actually had his own agenda. Using a secret medicine, he managed to bear a child with the Empress. He also bestowed the title of Crown Prince to the child, causing the Empress Dowager to be infuriated. Over the next few years, under the hands of ambitious people, the Emperor fell gravely ill and was unable to attend to the court. The Empress Dowager and her relatives then seized control of the court. The Empress Dowager was unhappy with the Crown Prince whose talents blossomed as he grew older. Instead, she preferred the Eldest Prince who was the child of her youngest son who had been adopted under the Emperor’s name. The Eldest Prince had been spoiled useless since he was young. If he ascended to the throne, she would be able to further solidify the power she held.
The mother and son pair fought openly. The Crown Prince had always been precocious, causing the Empress Dowager to be on guard until the trusted attendant she had sent out to monitor the Crown Prince accidentally found out that the Crown Prince actually held those sorts of intentions towards males. Thus, a plan formed in the Empress Dowager’s heart. She would use male beauties to befuddle the other and expose the other’s shamelessness before replacing him with her own candidate.
Indeed, Guan Hui, this character, was destined to have a tragic end with the prince from the beginning.
He was a spy placed beside the Crown Prince by the Empress Dowager, with the mission to bewitch the Crown Prince. In the end, although familiarity breeds fondness, and even though he had staked his life to fight the enemy troops back for the Crown Prince, their relationship was destined to be full of contradictions.
This wasn’t a likeable role at all. Although the drama was considered to have two male leads, the screen time and spotlights were mostly given to the Crown Prince. At the beginning stages, the Crown Prince fully displayed his abilities and intelligence, but his influence in the court remained weak—he lived in the cracks and shadows and was completely devoted to Guan Hui; at the later stages, he learned of Guan Hui’s identity, enduring his indignation in silence as he blackened—on one hand, he used honey traps to incite Guan Hui; while on the other, he plotted as he prepared to pull the Empress Dowager and his Grand Uncle from their high horses.
In the two people’s relationship, love and hate were tangled. In the end, Guan Hui died in battle and the Emperor was able to achieve a grand cause. Before his death, he passed on an imperial verdict to have Guan Hui, who was lying in an ice coffin, to be cremated together with him and be spread across the lands of the nine states…
It was an honest-to-goodness tragedy. The screenwriter tried to white-wash Guan Hui, this character, by specially arranging a pitiful past for him. He was the grandson of a marshal and his clan was ordered to be exterminated by the former Emperor. However, he had received help from the Empress Dowager. His paternal grandmother, mother, and younger brother were all in the Empress Dowager’s hands, so he had no choice but to follow her orders, making the Crown Prince be deeply infatuated with him as he handed his heart over to a white-eyed wolf. However, the audience wouldn’t forgive his scummy behaviors just because he was pitiful.
With He ChongFeng’s current status, filming such a character wouldn’t be beneficial for him at all.
He ChongFeng said: “If this film can win a prize, it will be beneficial for you.”
Gou Liang replied: “Letting you play a supporting role, won’t your fans join hands to rip me apart?”
He ChongFeng: “Qing-Jie already went to discuss changing the script.”
Gou Liang didn’t say anything more, tossing aside the script, he leaned on He ChongFeng’s shoulder and asked: “Are you still doing the post-production for Agent of War?”
He Chongfeng slowly deleted the strings of letters that he had typed out. Without batting an eye he said: “No… Didn’t you say you want to put me in your pocket and carry me around wherever? So…”
“So?” Gou Liang hugged his neck and said excitedly: “So you’re making a holo baby of yourself to give to me?”
“En.”
He ChongFeng lightly pressed his lips, revealing a hint of a smile. He seemed to be shy.
Gou Liang, however, was immensely happy as he said: “I want two versions, a cold and aloof mode and an earnest Xiao TianTian—”
“Xiao TianTian?”
He ChongFeng’s fingers froze. He turned to look at Gou Liang.
“Eh, I don’t care, you have to fulfill my request. If you don’t do it well, I’ll bite you, oh.”
He ChongFeng poked his dimple. Gou Liang obediently offered up his other cheek. He ChongFeng reached out his evil paw and poked, one poke and his eyes lit up. Whatever the other said was what it would be, his expression was the very picture of subservience.
However, he would soon be slapped in his face by his own actions.
Gou Liang said: “I also want to give my holo baby a nickname.”
He ChongFeng: “Okay.”
Gou Liang said enthusiastically: “Let’s call it Little Strawberry, okay?”
He ChongFeng had a face full of rejection. “No, sounds ugly.”
Gou Liang became unhappy. “What did you say?”
He ChongFeng seemed like he wanted to correct himself but after struggling for half a day, he still said stubbornly: “A face full of hairy pores, is it not ugly?”
Gou Liang: &#k2026;How can I look at my Little Strawberry the same in the future Q^Q?
The fourth night of their newly-wed life, Gou Liang managed to get the mission progress rate to 70%.
At night, he was too excited to sleep so he went into his sea of consciousness to collect the draw chance he had received for breaking through 60% completion.
【System: The system data has been reset, hehe.】
【Gou Liang: Little Wanton, what’s wrong? Are you not happy, ya (≧︶≦*) 】
【System: Ever since you have Little Lemon, you no longer have me in your heart and eyes, what more is there to say between us?！T ^ T。】
【Gou Liang: ^__^ 】
Fortunately, the system was a professional system that treasured its job. Under its Master’s comforting which lacked any sincerity whatsoever, it cautiously and conscientiously pulled up the lottery system.
Gou Liang always had terrible luck when it came to drawing the mission experience reward. The first time, he got an item worth 2 points; the second time, he got an item worth 22 points. As for the shop’s lucky draw, ever since he memorized all the serial codes of the items, he was like a fish in water and his luck was unnecessary. Other than the Luck Debuff Prop that he had gotten from randomly picking the first time, the second time was a Deep-Sea Snow Fish, the third time was a Spiritual Zijin Grape Tree; they were all sustainable treasures and he couldn’t be more satisfied with them.
As for this fourth time ma, he was aiming for another item—
【Ding. Congratulations, Master, for obtaining Continuous Blood and Blue Regen Prop! Worth 666 points! Limited for use in the current world. Blood will be automatically replenished and you’ll never have to worry about running out of stamina or being poisoned! There is also no cooldown period.】
【System: Eh, Master, you actually didn’t pick a food item? 】
【Gou Liang, letting out a long sigh: Love makes a person dumb, I finally know today that this isn’t a lie.】
【System: @[email protected]?】
Tossing aside the other after he finished using it, Gou Liang didn’t explain himself to the system. Despite the system’s urge to stay longer, Gou Liang slipped out of the sea of consciousness. He kneaded the regen prop he had just gotten into a necklace with a ring hanging from it, before hanging it on He ChongFeng’s neck.
The cold touch of metal roused He ChongFeng from his sleep. Seeing Gou Liang laying on his chest as he fiddled with the necklace that had suddenly appeared on him, he smiled and said: “A present for me?”
“En!” Gou Liang smiled, revealing eight ivory teeth. “A dog collar, specially used to keep a leash on you!”
He ChongFeng held his hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it along with the ring hanging from the necklace. He then got off the bed. When he came back, there were two rings laying on his palm.
He ChongFeng looked at him expectedly. “Do you like it?”
Gou Liang picked it up and scrutinized it; the design was tasteful and unique, it could be seen at a glance that this was a custom order. The writing on it also looked very familiar. He smiled and asked: “You designed it? …No, you made it yourself?”
Gou Liang observed the aloofness and pride that was hidden away in the other’s eyes and smiled knowingly. “I like it very much. Quickly, put it on me!”
He ChongFeng coughed. He half knelt on the bed and took the other’s hand. “Now, may the groom, He ChongFeng, place the ring upon his husband.”
He seriously slipped the ring onto Gou Liang’s finger. Looking at his overly solemn expression, Gou Liang couldn’t suppress his smile, replying: “Now, may the groom, Mai Tao, place the ring upon his husband.”
He ChongFeng was impatient as he took the initiative to offer his hand. His eyes were full of stars, shining brightly. Gou Liang straightened his back and also knelt down, taking the other’s hand and placed the ring on him. Gou Liang raised his head and said in unison with He ChongFeng: “Now, the groom may kiss the groom.”
Gou Liang laughed aloud. He ChongFeng was extraordinarily serious as he cupped Gou Liang’s face, kissing his eyes, his nose, before landing on his lips.
Gou Liang knew these three kisses held a solemn ceremonious meaning in this world. It signified: I will love you like my own eyes. Even if we fight, I will remain gentle and communicate with you as we both learn to compromise. I will be devoted towards you, protecting and cherishing you for a lifetime.
He ChongFeng said: “Now, the groom can kiss his groom back.”
Gou Liang clasped the other’s face; he didn’t know why, but his eyes felt a bit hot. Although there was no one to witness this in the bedroom, even though they weren’t wearing gorgeous white suits, the sincerity in He ChongFeng’s eyes was enough for anyone.
He also kissed He ChongFeng, his left and right eyes, his nose, and then his lips.
Gou Liang said: “Dearest, I want to be with you for a long, long time. Even when we’re old and can’t walk anymore, I still won’t let you go.”
He ChongFeng hugged him tightly and said in a tender voice: “Little Fool, I also love you.”
Gou Liang smiled. He pinched the other’s ear and said: “Don’t get too full of yourself, I didn’t say I love you.”
“But I heard it.”
He ChongFeng was also smiling.
“Passing a fake imperial decree, see how I’ll punish you!”
He pushed He ChongFeng onto the bed. Hooking his finger, he stroked the other’s chest and said smilingly: “Husband, do you still have the energy to receive the punishment, ah?”
He ChongFeng’s eyes darkened. Suddenly, he pressed the other underneath him and said: “Laugh while you still can, because later you’ll be crying.”
The power of love is immense and limitless. He had clearly already been squeezed dry before, but now he was lively and energetic again. He thrust the hard object inside Gou Liang’s body and launched his attack.
When the light of dawn illuminated the red bedsheet that had worked hard the entire night, Gou Liang really cried: Blood and Blue Regen Prop, it’s an essential item for prolonging mealtimes, he can’t praise it enough ┬ v ┬!!
After two years of preparation,《River Mountain》finally began filming.
There was no press release, there was only a notice Zheng Dao released on Weibo. Not even the main lead or plot were revealed.
When Gou Liang and He ChongFeng arrived at the production site, they saw Zheng Dao with a serious and dignified expression. The two looked at each other; they clearly noticed that when Zheng Dao saw them, there was a trace of awkwardness on his face.
Zheng Dao struggled to phrase what he wanted to say: “It’s like this; since there are a few scenes which require you to be intimate with each other, the assistant director and I thought it would be best if the two of you could familiarize yourself with each other beforehand. Thus, we only arranged one room for the both of you to stay in while on site. It would make it easier for you to bond with each other, will this be alright?”
Gou Liang: ＾ｖ＾
He ChongFeng replied with a cold and aloof expression: “We will do our best to cooperate with your work.”
Director Zheng Dao was extremely touched by the two cooperative actors. He continued to ask: “The intimate scenes may feel awkward after you’re more familiar with each other, should we film them first?”
This was the first time Film Emperor He had ever filmed a movie on the topic of homosexuality and he was actually playing the supporting role. This made Zheng Dao feel a bit guilty.
Gou Liang: Director-Dada, I want to reward you a little red flower! (o* ==)o
He ChongFeng’s eyes became even more profound and thoughtful. “There’s no need. Director, we can follow your usual filming habits. Please trust in our professional integrity.”
The director liked to film according to the script’s timeline, so he was overjoyed upon hearing this. He patted He “Paragon-of-the-Industry” ChongFeng’s back and said with a voice full of admiration: “Thank you.”
Gou Liang gave Film Emperor He a ‘well done’ look.
Film Emperor He aloofly curved the corner of his mouth.
On the second day since entering the crew, after taking some official photos, Gou Liang enthusiastically took He ChongFeng to have a private meal. They coincidentally met with Zhao Bin who was busy cultivating relationships with the director in order to take care of his family’s trouble-making newbie. Zhao Bin shook his head in disapproval. “Director Zheng, please don’t take offense, Maimai’s family only has him, this single child, so he has been spoiled. If there’s something good, naturally he should invite you along as well. How can he only care about himself and his male god? Really too insensible, later I will definitely have a talk with him.”
Director Zheng originally had no such intentions of freeloading food, but when he thought of Streamer Gou’s culinary skills that had been greatly praised on the wilderness survival show, he didn’t refute and only smiled.
Gou Liang: “…”
He ChongFeng patted the other’s head to offer comfort.
Gou Liang wore his unhappiness plainly on his face, but he still invited them back to the hotel. On the way, Niu Qing and the assistant little bro that had come to discuss something with He ChongFeng were also added into the group.
The deep-sea-snow fish had finally given birth to a baby that could be eaten and he had taken it out, pretending it was something he had flown over from some obscure corner of the world. Gou Liang thought of the deep-sea-snow fish he had set out in advance earlier today…the little person in his heart was already raising a blood covered knife!
The translucent flesh of the deep-sea-snow fish had just been served, but it was already almost completely gone.
One glance and it could be seen that this was an ultra-expensive treasure meat dish that was rare to come by. Director Zheng, Niu Qing, and the assistant little bro were hesitant to eat, feeling it was too precious. Only Zhao Bin shamelessly said: “Wow, Maimai, you’re actually treating us to such high-level sashimi! Come, come, let’s open up a broadcast and share it with the fans—Oh, and Director, for the sake of confidentiality, it would be best if you hide for a bit, really sorry about that.”
Gou Liang gritted his teeth. “Mr.Zhao, do you really want to experience the feeling of being tossed into a sack? Then I’ll grant your wish!”
Zhao Bin was unthreatened. “Look at you, this child. The first rule to surviving in a production crew is winning over the director, isn’t that right, Director Zheng?”
Director Zheng: …I’ll just maintain my smile.
Gou Liang suffered his indignation in silence, opening up the broadcast tool as he thought to himself: Thankfully the fish weighs several tons and I’ve only taken out a portion of it. The rest can be slowly enjoyed by Little Lemon and I~
“Ao, Maimai—Ah!! My Feng!!!”
“Maimai is unexpectedly hard working today, let me contribute a rose—Eh, My Feng!! Goodness!!”
“What My Feng? My Feng ah ah ah ah!”
“My Feng! Am I dreaming right now!!”
He ChongFeng looked at the seething Gou Liang and suppressed a smile. He put on a cold-and-aloof.jpg and perfunctorily greeted the audience: “Hello.” He nodded his head and looked towards Gou Liang who was staring fiercely at the bullet screen. He lifted his hand and rubbed the other’s head, saying: “Little Fool, should we start eating?”
Only then did Gou Liang reveal a smile and said: “Since my Male God already said so, I won’t argue with the bunch of you gremlins.”
As he said this, he looked towards the freeloaders in the background with disdaining eyes and said: “As for the unimportant people, no need to waste space on the camera screen.”
Zhao Bin glared at him. With a turn of his head he faced the fans with a benevolent smile on his face: “Hello, Mai Li fans, thank you all for your love and support of Maimai. There are some work arrangements so Maimai would be busy for some period of time, I hope Maimai’s fans can be understanding and patient.”
Naturally he wouldn’t let go of such a wonderful advertising opportunity.
As expected, the fans became curious about what Maimai was working on, but the manager who had already set the bait was now acting all mysterious to stoke their appetite. Zhao Bin had already shifted his attention to watch Gou Liang cut sashimi. The fans hated that they couldn’t hang him up from the ceiling and beat him.
But their attention was soon diverted by Gou Liang’s fish show. Gou Liang began to slice each sashimi into perfect and generous thickness.
Held between chopsticks, the sashimi glistened and was almost translucent. Gou Liang picked up the fish slice and sent it over to He ChongFeng. “Prepare your heart, this will taste so good you’ll scream aloud.”
He ChongFeng held his hand and took a bite. Immediately after—
His eyes widened slightly, the little person in his heart was screaming, “So delicious, so delicious!” His cold and aloof face almost slipped and he barely managed to keep his composure.
Gou Liang looked at him and bantered, “Tasty?”
He ChongFeng nodded his head, then nodded again.
Gou Liang also ate a slice, his reaction was honest without the slightest hint of falseness, his eyes curving in happiness.
The audience drooled while saying: “Looks so good.”
“What kind of fish is this? Maimai, where can it be bought?! I also want to eat, ah!”
“I think I saw shock on My Feng’s face just now. Gasp, I need to have a taste even if I have to squander my family’s entire fortune!”
“Just asked my friend in the sashimi business but he actually doesn’t recognize this fish. Someone please enlighten me!”
“Is it really that tasty? Maimai is about to take flight, haha~”
“Don’t know why but seeing the streamer eat food with such seriousness and happiness makes me feel like life is full of positive energy!”
“Haha, Maimai, take a look at your manager’s wronged expression.”
……
Gou Liang made some dipping sauce while saying: “It was worth it to have people keep watch in the ocean for so many years. This taste is simply out of this world. If you guys want to eat, I’m afraid I can’t help you because this is something that can only be encountered but not sought. Qing-Jie, assistant bro, come eat too, ah. As for you, hmph, you’re only allowed one piece, if you take more I’ll curse you to be d*ckless.”
Zhao Bin: “…The bear child is not sensible, everyone don’t mind him, hehe.”
“Hahaha, WenWu-Ge’s expression says otherwise.”
“I bet he wants to give Maimai a spanking. Sadly My Feng won’t let him succeed, haha! hands-on-hips-laughing.gif!”
“How awkward, 2333.”
“Eh, Qing-Jie just passed the sashimi to someone—could it be My Feng’s girlfriend?!!”
“Goodness, could it be the person My Feng likes?!”
“Maimai, turn the camera over, begging you!!”
“Cough, cough, cough!”
There was a fit of coughs. Director Zheng, aka Film Emperor He’s girlfriend and crush, almost choked to death.
Gou Liang burst into laughter. “Okay la, there is no girlfriend, you guys are really too naive. Let’s end this here today, ba. WenWu-Ge says there will be a raffle. The prize will be my poster and a snack made by me, there will be fifty winners. The event should be posted on our Weibo soon, pay attention to it oh guys. Goodnight, mwah.”
As he said this, he turned the camera to He ChongFeng, “Male God, Male God, mwah (づ￣3￣)づ.”
He ChongFeng picked up a fish slice with his chopsticks and sent it towards Gou Liang—this way it looked like he was feeding the audience in the broadcast. They heard him say: “Mwah.”
Fans: Nosebleed—spurt! I have no more regrets in life!!
