Discussing The Correct Posture To Enjoy Dog Food-Chapter 29 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (8): Let’s go! Wilderness survival liveshow!!
Chapter 29 - Lemon Flavored Film Emperor Gong (8): Let’s go! Wilderness survival liveshow!!
Translator: SilverRain
Editors: Amaris, Grump
#WE Talk: Hundredth anniversary celebration grand kickoff! The wilderness survival liveshow is in progress! #
There were six names, but only three red list artists were announced eventually. They were Cheng Bei, Zhang QiaoYi, and Su Chu. All three of them were already top tier existences in WE, and the only guest that was more anticipated than them would be those in the super tier—the purple list!
Everyone had their eyes on their favorite idols. Very quickly, Ming Xing, who hadn’t announced any projects lately, was brought up. Many people relentlessly messaged WE and the three artists, but their evasive attitudes starved the fans. The top fifteen artists on WE’s Purple Global Artists List were scoured. Other than the already deceased martial artist at No. 50, even the controversial film empress was scrutinized. But after eliminating suspects based on their ages or health, the only one left was, surprisingly, He ChongFeng…
Damn, might as well go to bed. My Feng would never participate in a reality show QAQ.
And so, the day the mystery guest list was revealed…
===== Wilderness Survival Liveshow Day 1 – Rendezvous Day ↓↓ =====
The first thing that reached the ears of the audience was the sound of propellers. Then, the goddess Su Chu, who was in a helicopter overlooking the entire island, appeared in their sight.
“Hi everyone! I’m Su Chu! Welcome to WE’s wilderness survival event livestream!”
She waved. In contrast to her usual long and queenly dresses that reached the floor, she was wearing clean and fitted sportswear, adding two points of sweetness to her beauty. The goddess said with annoyance, “This is the first time I’ve been on a live broadcast without bullet chat, and the director said that we’ll be unable to hear you guys from now on. Of course, I can guess what you guys are talking about, and it must be—Goddess you are still so beautiful today~~~”
She put on a rapturous expression, as if she was immersed in the applause and spotlight of the stage.
The audience laughed good-naturedly as the goddess revealed her true nature. Eloquence plus narcissism plus beauty equals one hundred percent goddess!
Then the goddess just waved with a smile, “Alright, I was just kidding around with you guys. I know what the little fairies want to know the most. It’s who the remaining three guests are! If you want to know~~ then beg me—Actually I don’t know either, haha. Our company is too good at keeping secrets. I just know that I’m the only girl, the others are all big handsome guys! Ao, I’m so happy! While you have one weed I’ll be embracing the whole forest~~”
The audience was a little surprised but not disappointed. Since the No. 11 red list goddess was here, they were satisfied. Not to mention there were others too!
“Well, without further ado, take a look at this! This is the deserted island we’ll be living on for the next two weeks. Isn’t it beautiful!”
As the words died down, they saw an unbelievably beautiful sight unfold before their eyes—
There was an isolated island nestled within magnificent scenery and blue waters. It was filled with lush foliage and surrounded by an eye-catching belt of white beaches.
The distinct colors grabbed their attention first.
Then they followed the camera and saw the Red List No. 10 Zhang QiaoYi and the Red List No.5 Cheng BeiCheng. As they got closer to the island, its full profile and the various close-ups made the viewers feel drunk and dreamy.
The blocked bullet chat had spontaneously combusted thanks to the fans!
“Wow, this isn’t a deserted island, it’s obviously a resort!”
“Absolutely beautiful!”
“After searching the map, I still don’t know where this island is…”
“My Qiao is still so beautiful today~”
“Confessing to my goddess!”
“Haha, Ah Cheng is such a tease. This island is so beautiful that I’m getting anxious!
“Ahhhhh, who, who, who are the last three people?!”
“There’s definitely my family’s Teddy!”
“Haha, star fan please spare your Teddy Lord. He can’t even take care of himself, okay?”
“It’s going to be revealed soon! I’m so excited!”
“WE has never let me down, and I’m sure this time will be the same~”
……
As the three red-listers landed on the island to rendezvous, the only thing the audience could hear was the director’s voice-over. “Hello, everyone. This is the deserted island. To our three beautiful and handsome guests, welcome! For the next two weeks you will be living here. The crew will not be providing you with any assistance. Other than the holographic tools in your hands, you will not have access to any communication tools. Your cell phones, computers, etc. will be confiscated. Of course you’ve seen from the air that this island is surrounded by the sea. Even if you cannot endure life on a deserted island, please grit your teeth and continue to endure…”
The sound of a helicopter could be heard again.
“OK, now the other three guests who will be suffering with you have arrived on the scene. The first one is—Ming Xing! Please welcome him!”
The helicopter door opened and Ming Xing was seen in a very cool pose. He got into a jumping position and then screamed “aaahhhhh” as he landed.
The crowd just watched as their Teddy landed while screaming before quickly getting up and striking a signature cool pose. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time. Wasn’t I particularly, particularly handsome just now?”
He flicked his hair coolly and took off his aviator glasses to wink with his right eye, revealing his international standard top-notch face!
Bullet chat screen &#k2193;
“Ahhhhh!”
“Haha, he’s so handsome right now!”
“Well, I’ve already forgotten about a certain Teddy who held himself tight and screamed in mid-air earlier.”
“He’s really my star, my star, my star!”
“It’s steaming here. Don’t try so hard if you’re scared of heights, okay?”
“My star fought hard to be handsome!”
“Why am I so happy to watch my Teddy act like a tryhard everyday~ I really am the most qualified poop shoveler! Hand heart!”
……
The three people led by the goddess came forward and helped the low IQ Teddy Lord untie the ropes. She said, “Da Xing, it’s really you, ah. How can your Sister 6 bear to hand you over?”
The Teddy Lord said with a proud face, “What’s there to worry about? My parent has always trusted me.”
“Haha, Sister 6 is so pitiful. You don’t understand her at all after all these years!”
“Give me a break. Don’t say that so confidently.”
As the four of them joked around, the audience’s shining eyes could see the luggage on the helicopter being lowered one box after another. The Goddess, Mr. Cheng and Bishop Zhang: “…”
Mr. Cheng: “I thought my three big boxes were too much haha.”
Goddess: “…If I knew I wasn’t the most spoiled, I would’ve brought more T T.”
Bishop Zhang: “I didn’t think that the director would let me come camping…with so much stuff.”
Teddy: “It’s all from my parent. I told her no no no but~~”
The Goddess, Mr. Cheng, and Bishop Zhang: “…Hehe.”
The audience was about to burst out laughing.
The director’s voice-over occurred again: “Please welcome our fifth guest to the stage!”
A helicopter captured the attention of the audience as it circled the island several times while performing professional level aerial maneuvers. It almost made them feel like they were watching an air show from the military channel. Then the helicopter slowly landed on the grass. There was only one person sitting in the cockpit of the aircraft, and the moment he stepped out of the cabin and removed his helmet —
“Aaaaahhhhhhhh!”
“My Feng! My Feng!!! It’s my Feng aaaahhhhh!”
“OMG!”
“OMG!!! I’m giving WE a red packet ASAP!”
“Where are you going?! Look at my Feng!”
“He’s so handsome!!!!”
“I can now die without regrets!”
“My Feng just flew the helicopter by himself!! How can he be so cool!!”
“He’s unbelievably cool!”
“Hahahahaha, Teddy’s going to cry.”
“Already ready for the perimeter pose XD!”
“Wow, WE actually invited He ChongFeng. They’re really pulling out all the stops! My years as a fan have not been in vain!”
“Hey, if No. 9 on the purple list is out at this point, who could be next?”
“Yeah, who could one-up He ChongFeng?”
“I can’t wait!”
“I don’t care! People sending bullet chats should get lost, you’re blocking my view of my Feng!!”
……
As expected, while the goddess incredulously covered her mouth and Bishop Zhang and Mr. Cheng seemed shocked, their Teddy Lord actually cried ↓
“He ChongFeng you stole my thunder again! I can’t coexist peacefully with you!”
Their Feng gave him an aloof look. The aggrieved Teddy Lord bouncing around everywhere could only hold his own tongue. “…QAQ.”
Amidst the joyful laughter of the bullet chat group, their Feng brought a suitcase down from the helicopter. Once again, they saw the Teddy Lord bite his fist with remorse: “…Ao!”
# Suitcase exposes if you’re the top/bottom!! #
The other three who were bent over with laughter slowly calmed down. The goddess said, “I didn’t expect it to be Ah Feng. So who will be next? It can’t be Uncle Yi, right?”
The audience perked up immediately! Three of the top ten purple list artists belonged to WE. Other than He ChongFeng, one recently had heart surgery and the other, Uncle Yi, was in good health but was also well into his sixties!
The voice-over by the director let out mysterious laughter. “You must all be curious about our sixth guest. Who could be hotter than my Feng?”
“Sigh. Actually, he’s no match for my Feng in the outside world. But here, on this island, he’s the boss.”
But they all guessed that with the director’s twisted nature he wouldn’t satisfy their curiosity so easily.
Sure enough, the director continued, “I know you’re all curious, but before we reveal who he is, let’s announce a few basic rules of our wilderness survival liveshow.”
“First, as I said before, all communication equipment will be confiscated except for your holographic tools. Second, unless you are in unavoidable danger, the crew will not appear or help you in any way. In other words, you will have to take care of your own meals for the next two weeks. Third, your livestreaming tools must be on 24/7 except for bathroom breaks, including while you sleep. The staff will do a basic edit of your holographic video before releasing it. Which means, viewers, the live feed you see will lag a minute behind the experiences of your beloved idols.”
As the director finished speaking, another helicopter appeared.
The audience only heard the director say excitedly, “It looks like our sixth guest has arrived! Allow me to grandly introduce him, who was greatly compensated by the show to ensure the personal safety of the other five guests. He is—the owner of this island! A must for any wilderness survival! Just a friendly reminder, if you don’t want to be miserable for two weeks, hug his thighs tightly, boys and girls!”
The owner of the island?!
The audience widened their eyes as the helicopter stopped in mid-air. The cabin opened and a bright sports car was slowly lowered from the helicopter. Then three black-clad bodyguards carrying suitcases followed. The gorgeous red off-road convertible sports car sped towards them.
The bullet chat group exploded ↓
“What’s with this island owner?”
“So the filming location is a private island! Thank you!”
“Am I about to meet a drop-dead filthy rich dude who owns an island? The living, breathing kind!”
“Usually this kind of person, in my imagination, is fifty years old and Mediterranean with a beer belly… no I don’t want that ahhhh!”
“Even an idol drama can’t afford to film this kind of entrance anymore!”
“I recognize this car model. It costs tens of millions of dollars…”
“He actually has bodyguards…”
“I’m watching a show-off show!”
In the midst of their heated discussion, the car stopped. The mysterious Island Owner-Dada driving the sports car took off his big sunglasses. His right stud earring reflected the scorching luster of the sun. He smiled and jumped out of the sports car by spreading his arms, running towards my Feng—
He hugged him with zero hesitation—
And said, “Male god, I’m here!”
The bullet chat group… had been paralyzed.
“W-w-what the hell?”
“Who’s this?”
“Maimai?”
“OMG it’s actually Maimai!”
“The owner of this island… Maimai… I have so many questions.”
“I don’t care who he is! Let go of my Feng!!!!!”
“Let go of my Feng aaahhhh!”
“M-my Feng actually didn’t push him away…”
“Ao, my Feng touched his head!”
“Aoaoao, am I crazy or is the world crazy?”
“Damn, if it isn’t the cute little newbie that my Feng said was cute. Who is he, who is he, who is he, ah! Why is my Feng actually letting him hug him!”
“…Did my Feng just laugh…”
“My Feng just laughed…”
“This is actually happening in my lifetime…”
“Who cares if he’s a newbie! If he makes my Feng smile, I’ll be his fan fan fan fan for life!”
“My Feng!!!”
……
=====《Wilderness Survival Liveshow》 live on scene ↓↓ =====
He ChongFeng caught Gou Liang, who lunged at him, a smile leaking from the corners of his eyes. He looked so happy that his eyes were glowing.
Touching his soft hair, He ChongFeng released him. “Stand still.”
Gou Liang stroked his spine hard in front of the livestream camera before withdrawing from his embrace, satisfied. He turned to the others, “Hello, everyone. Welcome to my deserted island. I hope you’ll have fun while you’re here.”
Ming Xing and the others: “……”
Before they could recover from their shock, the director announced some bad news right after.
“Now, for the fourth rule. This is the hiking backpack that we have prepared especially for all of you. You have three minutes to fill it up with whatever you want. But please note that the only thing you will be able to bring to live on the island is this bag! The kindhearted crew warmly reminds you that you may be moving separately on the island, so it’s best to bring your own essentials. The clock starts… now!”
“WTF?!”
All six of them were stunned by the cruelty of the show.
“Twenty seconds have passed—”
There was no need for the director to say anything else. They had already grabbed their 70L hiking bags in a flash and rushed to their suitcases.
Everyone but He ChongFeng was scrambling.
He brought very little in the first place, and they were all things essential for wilderness survival. He could fit three-quarters of the items into the hiking bag.
The second to finish was Su Chu. Her luggage was the most organized, and everything was neatly wrapped up and compressed. After switching bags, she could take along a third of what she had brought. The worst off was Ming Xing. Other people packed his suitcases, so he had no idea where anything was. Even worse, he had too many choices and not enough survival experience to know what to bring.
He tearfully turned to He ChongFeng for help, but he saw—
His dearest cousin was squatting beside the cute little newbie and taking the initiative to help him pack his things.
Gou Liang had a death grip on a box of pickled lemons. “No! I have to bring this!”
“You’ve already brought half a backpack of food.” He ChongFeng reasoned with him, “The rest needs to be clothes, a tent and medicine.”
Gou Liang shook his head again and again, “I can do without the tent. We can sleep together. Male god, male god, I know you’re afraid of the dark T ^ T.”
He ChongFeng: “…Fine, we don’t need the tent. But you can only take three more boxes.”
Gou Liang quickly took out three big boxes of food and put them in his backpack. Suddenly the backpack was stuffed to the extent that it was hard to close.
The three minutes were up.
He ChongFeng carried Gou Liang’s backpack on his back and lifted his own bag before bringing him back to the team.
Ming Xing, who only had time to pack a backpack of clothes and a tent couldn’t bear to look at him. “Cousin, are you still the cousin I know?!”
He ChongFeng gave him a look before withdrawing his eyes.
Ming Xing aggrievedly glared at Gou Liang, who said: “Hello, cousin ^ _ ^”
Ming Xing: Who is your cousin!!!
The director left one last sentence, “Now you can hike into the island and start living independently. Have fun!” before riding away on a helicopter.
The six people stared at the empty island. It was as bleak and empty as the autumn wind sweeping away fallen leaves.
Cheng Bei was the first to return to his senses. “Island owner, please lead the way.”
Without hesitation, they stepped forward into this world filled with mystery and intrigue…
