Debut or Die-Chapter 418
No matter how the variety show goes, there was something I had to focus on first.
The performance.
“Thank you!”
I lifted my head. Along with the voice booming from the side mic, the choreography for our debut song “Hi-five” came to an end.
That was the final encore number.
Waaaah—waaaah!
The heat, the cheers, the lights. My whole body trembled with the vibrations.
‘...It’s been a while.’
Sweat trickled down my temples.
I slowly closed and reopened my eyes, taking in the sea of lights that filled the enormous plaza.
In truth, tours don’t do much to boost recognition or fame, since they’re not covered by the media.
They’re basically cash cows for agencies to harvest the popularity you’ve already earned.
But when you’re actually on stage, it’s hard to dismiss it like that.
“Whew.”
‘It’s just...giving me goosebumps.’
It almost felt like the priorities had flipped.
Isn’t raising awareness supposed to be about gathering an audience who’ll show up after seeing this?
“Thank you so much!”
A surge of adrenaline made my thoughts run wild. I roughly wiped my forehead.
“See you again!!”
“See ya!”
This first tour in ages had fired up the group’s mood across the board.
Backstage, as soon as we stepped down, someone was already shouting.
“I think today’s show was insanely polished and flawless!”
“Mhm, I think so too...!”
The two perfectionists gave Singapore’s two-day run rave self-reviews.
I checked the camera that had just arrived and nodded.
“From tomorrow, we can enjoy the healing course without any shame.”
“For sure!”
The variety crew’s camera flitted around excitedly among the giggling members catching their breath.
“Seriously, isn’t this schedule like a dream? Meet fans, perform our hearts out, then healing! And back to performing~”
It sounded like a trailer voiceover. They knew exactly what they were doing.
“Just whisper it to me—where did you pick for Yoo-jin and Mundae?”
“That’s a secret. I want to see the members’ faces when they find out!”
“Ooh~ sounds luxurious?”
“Yeah, we splurged.”
“As I expected!”
Keun Sejin laughed, giving my and Cha Yoo-jin’s backs a friendly slap.
But I’d better keep quiet about where that budget actually went—to get those reactions.
“Great work today, everyone!”
That night at midnight, when we finally gathered for late-night snacks and our eyes refused to close, the PD burst in.
Ding dong.
“Wow, you guys all stayed to wait for us?”
“Oh, when we tour, we always stay in /N_o_v_e_l_i_g_h_t/ the same room once a week to bond.”
“Party tonight~”
“Hey, isn’t this our first reveal to the LOVEs? They’ll feel left out!”
He had a point, but framing it to sound spiteful took real skill.
“I’ll make it right.”
“If you’re going to speak, let’s get a proof shot first.”
Even the camera director held back laughter as we put on extra-polite apologies, like we were shooting a formal apology video.
‘So variety.’
Amid that cheerful vibe, the show went on.
“Shall we give ourselves a round of applause for completing our first tour country successfully?”
“Waaaah!”
Smiles spread across their faces as they clapped. That was genuine.
“Mundae, this is the first time you’ve smiled so broadly since we started filming.”
“I always give a wholehearted smile.”
“Aha~ last time you couldn’t...sorry, Mundae, I’m joking. My bad.”
Would you stop. 𝙛𝒓𝒆𝙚𝒘𝒆𝓫𝙣𝓸𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝒄𝒐𝓶
Over the writers’ laughter, the PD finally got to the point.
“So our Sejin-ies went first, right?”
“Yep~”
Keun Sejin beamed while Bae Sejin nodded seriously as the PD held up their submitted itinerary file.
“Here! Is the healing course you chose.”
Since we’ll tour many countries, we fixed the order for smooth planning.
‘They had Indonesia next.’
Yacht, snorkeling, beaches—those are the usual healing keywords. I folded my hands and waited patiently.
“Drumroll please~ the Sejin-ies’ healing course title is...!”
Dugudugudugu!
The PD theatrically opened the file.
But the moment he read it, the energy drained from his face as if by magic.
“PD-nim?”
A question mark almost floated over his head as he peered at the file, voice bewildered.
“...Volcano climbing?”
“.......”
“.......”
Wait.
“Oh, climbing sounds great.”
That was only Ryu Cheong-woo’s opinion.
When I turned, Bae Sejin’s face was bright red as he spoke seriously.
“...TeSTAR’s next tour stop is Indonesia, and there are lots of famous volcanoes.”
“We figured everyone else would pick luxurious stuff~ so we went with saving money and building stamina!”
“A tour is all about strength.”
“.......”
I realized it.
These idiots tried to avoid conflict by making a sudden hard turn.
Their hobbies didn’t match, so they charged ahead into the one thing they shared.
Work.
“Understood. Truly a meaningful idea!”
Since Kim Rae-bin was the first to voice that line, anyone who complained now would be labeled an unprofessional freeloader.
‘Healing is ruined.’
Seeing those whooped-out idols nod in agreement, I thought maybe something was wrong.
Our team’s choice...wait.
Then I saw the next team’s lineup and dismissed it.
‘It’s the Ryu Cheong-woo–Seon Ah-hyun combo, after all.’
I doubted they’d pick anything sane, but I asked the PD outright.
“Did we overlap with anyone?”
“...No, Mundae, I swear I’m seeing this for the first time. I didn’t peek!”
He wouldn’t sabotage the show. Right?
“...Well, of course our writer here checked there were no overlaps!”
The writer, face hidden, gave an “OK” finger sign. I couldn’t see the expression, but at least he wasn’t lying. I decided to adjust our path.
‘...A bit of unevenness isn’t bad.’
I’d been worried about ratings—this might even be better.
With impromptu support from the lodging app PPL, we slept soundly and flew to Indonesia the next day.
And really started climbing Mount Batur.
“What great weather!”
“......Wow.”
Correction: whatever benefit—my stat-boosted body after four years still lagged behind Ryu Geon-woo in stamina.
In that sense, if you call it training, the cost-effectiveness wasn’t terrible...but still.
I glanced sideways.
“The view is really beautiful, isn’t it...?”
“Cooool”
“.......”
Behind the ex-athlete’s cheery strides, Bae Sejin trudged with a martyr’s expression.
Why did he choose hiking if he’d look like this? And why did his choice bind the rest of us?
‘This is...healing?’
Anyway, the view we earned by gritting our teeth was incredible.
Just as I thought we could call that our healing cut...
“Tomorrow we have a night hike, everyone. Excited?”
“Wow.”
“You can see the volcano’s blue glow at night—it looks just like the fires of hell.”
“.......”
“Thanks for this priceless footage, Sejins~ Oh? There’s a hot spring right up ahead, but you didn’t book it? Did you save budget again!”
Even Keun Sejin almost twitched a smile.
They probably expected disagreements anyway. Since it’s YouTube content, they wanted to grab all the highlights in thirty minutes—the main checkpoints and visuals.
Their judgment was sharp, but enduring the PD’s antics must’ve been tough.
‘He can’t even crack jokes right.’
I could already see the writers enjoying the variety show trainwreck. I could almost see the edit.
“Sejin?”
“...Ah~ great, right?”
Too late.
“Great? It was your choice!”
“I’m happy!”
“Lovely!”
This felt like basic training.
The next day, after our night hike and final day of rock climbing, we holed up in the hotel the whole day—thankfully no muscle aches, which must’ve been planned.
Yet when we gathered for rehearsal and performance...
‘Please healing!’
That was written all over their faces.
Indeed, unless you’re a hiking addict, three days of climbing isn’t healing.
“Come on, everyone, cheer up. We’re going to the healing course!”
“Yep!”
I nodded and looked at the file the PD held out.
‘Next destination...England.’
Our flight route got tangled, but that could be good. Surely they wouldn’t make us climb something in England.
‘They won’t suggest we scale Big Ben.’
“Now—Happy Trip, the team of Cheong-woo and Ah-hyun?”
“Y-yes...!”
“We’ll open it right away—right now!”
〈Horror Experience〉
“.......”
“.......”
Seriously? Really?
“There are a few famous haunted parks in England, so we picked one.”
“Since it’s summer, I thought this was a cool way to get chills...everyone expected relaxing stuff, so we aimed for something fun.”
Ryu Cheong-woo said he never expected hiking as the first course, with an embarrassed grin.
“Your body will be fine, don’t worry, guys.”
Only the body though.
“Hmm, and this...!”
I absentmindedly took the tickets Seon Ah-hyun pulled from the file.
They looked hand-drawn with crayon.
‘What is this?’
I flipped the tickets over:
[Experience Waiver]
Decorated with flowers.
“If you’re really scared, you don’t have to do it. No pressure...!”
“Yeah, participation is voluntary.”
Then why only me?
“So, Mundae, if you want to stop mid-way....”
“I’ll do it.”
“Huh?”
“I said I’ll do it.”
Who’d use that ticket in this situation?
I returned it with superhuman patience.
‘I’ll prepare in advance.’
I mentally drafted pushing Cha Yoo-jin and Keun Sejin—clapping and laughing—toward the ghost actor.
And... I planned to tell everyone we loved every moment of our England stay—except the performance.
At that point, my plan was dead.
“Hey Mundae hyung! What do you think about us being the only team to pick a truly ‘healing’ course?”
Backstage after the show, Cha Yoo-jin asked, and I didn’t flinch.
“...It’s a pity.”
“Exactly!”
I decided not to explain that “healing” only applied to him.
It’d come out within thirty minutes anyway.
“I have to say, your England show was superb. Our staff turned into hearts with their eyes!”
“Hehe!”
“Thank you! Thank you!”
This time, the crew who’d seen our performance joined in smiling.
I wonder if weekly overseas business trips count as expenses—they’re probably hoping for high views.
At last, the PD called the final team.
“Next up...Yoo-jin and Mundae’s team.”
“Yeah~”
I happily raised my hand when Cha Yoo-jin asked—might as well give them something funny.
“The team name is very avant-garde. It’s...〈Do What We Want〉.”
As if cueing a sound effect, the PD made a sharp cut gesture and continued.
I mimicked his gesture. Bae Sejin stared at me in disbelief.
“Oh~ and our writer says you spent way more budget than the other teams!”
“Ooh!”
“Luxury!”
Cheers erupted.
“Now, the fantastic healing course in Mexico is....”
The PD flipped the file, revealing the huge title:
—〈Cage Dive with Great White Sharks〉
“...You go in a cage, descend underwater...and meet a great white shark.”
“.......”
Silence, as if hell froze over.
“Is that the thriller movie thing?”
I stayed silent a moment, then finally admitted it.
“Yes.”
“Hey!”
Bae Sejin yelled.
“Mundae, you’re the same! What’s with all this hiking talk when you wanted to see sharks up close!”
Cha Yoo-jin shot back at the shrieking namesake—he was serious.
“We didn’t pick something requiring stamina. We wanted fun! Everyone else picked weird stuff!”
“Getting locked in a cage to meet sharks isn’t fun—it’s fun for the sharks...!”
“Listen up.”
I spoke up.
“Healing is supposed to combine recovery, emotion, and laughter.”
“...And?”
“Our team handled the laughter.”
“.......”
Bae Sejin spoke flatly.
“You know that’s bullshit...right?”
I nodded.
Ryu Cheong-woo smiled gently and said:
“Turns out no one picked a fully restful healing course.”
“.......”
“.......”
Thus ended the healing-less healing trip.
“You call this a disaster? You guys made such amazing variety choices!”
I wanted to sock the PD.
“And we still have our finale—Rae-bin’s course!”
They called the group’s biggest workaholic.
“Yes!”
“Let’s take a look at Rae-bin’s course too!”
Everyone was excited.
I rubbed my temples, already guessing the ending, but then saw:
—〈Stargazing Night Massage Experience〉
Plan.
Ride horses to a lakeside plateau, enjoy an aroma campfire and chef-prepared dishes.
Then, under the gentle breeze by the water, watch the Milky Way while receiving a professional massage.
Finish with a hot spring soak and sleep.
“.......”
“I’m sorry. Everyone chose courses showcasing each country’s and our idol duties, but I...tried to recreate my last vacation too much...”
“Love you, Rae-bin.”
“Kim Rae-bin is the best.”
“...??”
And so, TeSTAR, pledging their final “healing” course, went off to see sharks....
By the way, episode one aired the very next day.
A healing trip without any healing.
...For the first time, I worried about what feedback this twisted variety show would get from our fans.
