Debut or Die-Chapter 364
I turned my head.
The guys next to me were all breaking out in cold sweats or staring with their mouths agape.
I turned back and watched the TV.
On the screen, each of the guys who’d received secret orders was shown in quick-cut montage, moving one by one.
[Me? A phantom thief?]
[Ryu Cheong-woo: Success... if you aren’t found out until you leave the village.]
[Lee Se-jin: Pff, piece of cake. Nobody saw me steal anything yesterday anyway, and I didn’t even know I did it, right?]
[Seon Ah-hyun: Umm, yeah. I’ll do my best...!]
Then a black screen appeared with captions.
[Nobody]
[ever said you stole the Carrot Coin......]
The viewers erupted in laughter.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-??????
-So the real culprit was Kim Rae-bin, but they made everyone think it was themselves?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Wow, what devilsㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-The producer’s moving too fast
The living room was as quiet as a mouse, apart from the TV sound. But the PD’s voice on-screen was wickedly lively.
[Bae Se-jin: But I didn’t do anything last night... I have no idea how I stole the coin.]
[PD: If you figure out how the culprit stole it last night, there’s an even bigger prize waiting~]
[Bae Se-jin: Ah, of course...!]
[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
The writers and PDs buried their heads and shook as quietly as they could, exaggerated for effect.
Only the guys with the heavy roles didn’t notice because they were busy reading their notes.
[“Justice Phantom Thief Spy” (Fake)]
[Individual Round Begins!]
Lee Se-jin winked at the camera.
[Lee Se-jin: Phew~ Guys, it’s a variety show, so go easy on me!]
Thud.
The real Lee Se-jin silently punched his own thigh. His namesake did the same. No one stopped them.
[Breathlessly intense mind games]
[Seon Ah-hyun: Since we have string, why don’t I try crafting something, like... to see if anyone notices?]
[↑ Person feeling guilty]
[Bae Se-jin: You’re impressive and all... but shouldn’t catching the culprit be our top priority? The production team said as much, they literally told us to catch them.]
[↑ Dramatic actor]
[Kim Rae-bin: What if someone retaliates against me....]
[↑ Imagining being the victim]
Floating arrows and captions provided additional commentary, sending viewers into hysterics.
[Ryu Cheong-woo: (urgently) That can’t happen.]
[Seon Ah-hyun: (urgently #2) Right. It could be dangerous...]
[Lee Se-jin: (urgently #3) True. It could be dangerous.]
[Opinions that somehow mesh well]
Then I appeared on screen alone, a question mark photoshopped above my head.
[Park Mundae: (Really...?)]
[↑ Person who has no clue what’s going on]
Ugh....
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Why aren’t they telling Mundae anything, you jerksㅋㅋㅋㅠㅠㅠ
-Aww, poor guyㅋㅋㅋㅋㅠㅠ
“.......”
Unlike the viewers cracking up in real-time chat, not a sound came from the living room.
I snapped my head back. Everyone jerked.
[Ryu Cheong-woo: Let’s help out with the chores and earn coins first. Then we can look around to see who the thief might be. There must be hints.]
[Kim Rae-bin: (relieved) Wise... and prudent decision.]
[Each painting their grand scheme]
On-screen, the guys scrambled, desperately trying not to reveal who the culprit was.
[Lee Se-jin: Maybe the culprit is one of the houses we worked at on day one?]
[Kim Rae-bin: ...Indeed!]
[Bae Se-jin: That’s worth considering.]
Lee Se-jin kept offering plausible but wrong theories about the culprit—and unsurprisingly, everyone wholeheartedly agreed.
A cutaway interview of the smiling guy rolled in.
[Lee Se-jin: I happen to be good at this sort of thing.]
“Arghhh.”
Now the real Big Se-jin couldn’t raise his head.
Next up on camera was Ryu Cheong-woo.
[Park Mundae: I was thinking of heading to the village hall.]
[Ryu Cheong-woo: Oh, of course we’ll go together.]
[↑ Planning to keep an eye on him]
“It’s not surveillance, I really wanted to help.”
My embarrassed voice echoed through the living room, but no one responded.
Because on-screen Seon Ah-hyun had panicked at all the speculation and accidentally set the meat on fire.
[Fire... fire!?]
[??? : Aaaah!]
They even cut in a nighttime interview.
[Q. Did you intend to cause confusion?]
[Seon Ah-hyun: No...!]
Seon Ah-hyun covered her face with both hands and bowed her head deeply. The real Seon Ah-hyun mirrored the pose.
Total chaos.
‘...So.’
I swallowed my frustration and drew a weary conclusion.
‘They all thought they themselves were the culprit.’
That’s why none of them could lift their heads from shame. But why is my embarrassment the worst? At least those guys felt some sense of being misled—why didn’t I....
‘Wait.’
I noticed there was one person whose face looked perfectly calm.
‘Cha Yoo-jin.’
Just then, an on-screen caption appeared.
[And this person...]
[American Grandson]
On screen, Cha Yoo-jin stood near the crew with cameras, expression just as deadpan as in the living room.
Then he blurted out.
[Cha Yoo-jin: Hey, I know what’s going on.]
[PD: Huh?]
[Cha Yoo-jin: There are plenty of culprits besides me! I’m not the thief. You guys lied to me—PD-nim and writers, you lied to me.]
[!!!!]
That bastard....
“You have no idea? I knew it.”
“...!!”
“How??”
“Everyone’s avoiding finding the culprit. And they’re working super hard at it. It’s because of conscience!”
He didn’t get caught... I didn’t even know.
[Desperate-to-please production team]
[PD: If you don’t tell us, it’s meat!]
[PD: Pretend it’s a prize! I’ll give you Korean beef, Korean beef!]
In slow-motion on screen, Cha Yoo-jin slowly opened his mouth.
[Cha Yoo-jin: Sounds good!]
[So easy...!]
“Hey!!”
Chaos erupted on both sides.
“You sold us out for meat!”
“I didn’t sell you! We ate it together!”
“I could’ve bought that meat with my own money...!”
At the very moment Bae Se-jin, sitting across the sofa, jumped up in indignation and shouted—
[Production Team’s MVP]
[Bae Se-jin]
[↑ Award-winning actor]
“Gasp.”
Bae Se-jin choked.
[Q. Your resolve as the spy?]
[Bae Se-jin: ...First, I’ll craft my own character... and then I’ll act as if this never happened, how I would have behaved.]
A caption slapped onto his serious face like a sticker.
[Acting as myself...!]
“Ahem.”
Bae Se-jin’s perfect pacing and immersion, half admiration, half disbelief—was broadcast with playful editing.
[Bae Se-jin: We have to catch the culprit first... Well, eating is important too!]
[Bae Se-jin: If you have any conscience, you should just turn yourself in right now!]
[Is this really acting?]
[And the first looming crisis]
Crisis?
At that moment, the screen switched again.
The slightly shaky, off-kilter camera feed looked low-res, like someone recording on a phone.
It showed... Bae Se-jin and a pale back of someone’s head....
No way.
[Bae Se-jin: So who ended up stealing the Carrot Coin? After all, that’s why all this happened.]
I sweat bullets.
[Park Mundae: It’s obvious. It had to be someone on the inside.]
Captions freaked out.
[!!!!]
[Could it be...?]
My mouth went dry.
-OMG
-No way Mundae deduced it??
-Stop guessing for real...
[Bae Se-jin: You’re saying... it’s one of us?]
[Nervous]
[Park Mundae: Yes.]
And the pale head on-screen muttered some plausible lines, then Bae Se-jin asked “that” question.
[Bae Se-jin: ...Are you just ⊛ Nоvеlιght ⊛ (Read the full story) saying that because you think it’s me? Like, you need to act?]
[Self-destruct...?]
Shit, shit!
I bowed my head. But the guy on TV kept yammering.
[Park Mundae: No. I don’t think it’s you.]
Shut up, you idiot!
[Park Mundae: (confident) You were way too calm.]
[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
-So cute puppy 1ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-System malfunction
-Bae Se-jin’s relief is hilariousㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Park Mundae is probably under the covers
Captions exploded. The viewers couldn’t have been more delighted.
Meanwhile, the guy on TV wouldn’t shut up.
[Park Mundae: Actually, there is someone suspicious.]
Don’t!
[! Lee Se-jin pointed at!]
[Correct! (1/6) Congratulations on one correct answer]
“.......”
“Park, Mundae....”
...In the fireworks-effect screen, more captions rolled.
[Park Mundae: Just a suspicion. Let’s keep it between us.]
[Tremendous cleverness]
You bastards.
-ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
-Park Mundae, variety show angel! Park Mundae, variety show angel! Park Mundae, variety show angel!
“Actually, I was worried about being found out......”
“......”
“Sorry! No, it’s a show.... But I really didn’t expect that to be recorded!”
“......”
“I didn’t enjoy this either...!”
Yet on-screen, after I left, Bae Se-jin stood up in place and did a little celebratory dance.
[Perfect Crime Ceremony]
“......”
Bae Se-jin’s voice faded. When I looked over, I saw someone face-down on the floor.
On the darkened screen, more captions appeared.
[Question viewers must have thought of]
[Why was Park Mundae excluded.]
Enough already.
[Case Explanation 3]
The production team’s meeting footage began to play. Made me want to smash something.
[Writer Park: I’m kind of uneasy.]
[PD: About what?]
[Writer Park: Mundae. If we give him the thief order, we’ll end up giving more hints and he’ll figure it out. Then it’s pointless.]
[...]
[...]
[How to handle a five-star risk guest.]
After a moment of ominous silence, the PD spoke boldly.
[PD: Then... let’s cut him!]
[Writer Lee: What??]
[PD: Just cut him out! Let’s make Mundae a regular villager!]
[ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ]
[Correct / Excluded]
“...”
In contrast to the silent living room, laughter from the production team rang out from the TV.
[Writer Lee: Oh, that works then!]
[PD: Let’s really trick him!]
[Writer Park: Woooo!]
‘ㅋ’ after ‘ㅋ’ flashed by on-screen, then fireworks burst.
[So that’s what happened. ^^]
[???? Only Park Mundae isn’t a phantom thief????]
[Congratulations on becoming the one innocent villager, Mundae~]
Then fast-cut montage of me being swept along cluelessly while the others got thief orders.
“......”
“M-Mundae, breathe, breathe.......”
[Villager Certification Dance]
And as it faded, giant text appeared.
[★☆Park Mundae’s Truman Show Spectacular Success☆★]
[Production Support: TeSTAR All Members, Mung-ge]
“......”
“Mundae? Mundae?”
“Park Mundae seems out of it?!”
Those... bastards.
After the final explosive episode.
The variety show became a hot topic... in many senses.
An unthinkable spy (all of them)
└ You forgot one (except Park Mundae)
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ killing them twice
The production team is truly devilish star powerㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
You have to watch TeSTAR’s reaction cam, their faces are hilarious, especially Park Mundaeㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Everyone thought “now we’ll be found out,” but Kim Rae-bin going solo culprit from the start was insane; those twenty minutes were all highlightsㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
And TeSTAR became the biggest suckers in idol history....
Especially me.
Me!
‘Damn it!’
And those calculating guys even sent gifts the day after the finale to create a peace offering mood.
[Here’s a family photo of TeSTAR (+ Mung-ge) taken at the town photo studio! ^^]
I’ll never forget the sense of defeat when I saw that post on SNS.
Four days later, the now-permitted-to-speak Big Se-jin hovered and asked.
“Hey Mundae, you okay? That was rough this time, huh? Maybe next time we’ll play with different people....”
“No, we’re doing it together again.”
“Ooh~ That’s Mundae for you....”
“Next time we’ll grab the production budget and make them cry.”
“......”
I will destroy them.
“Yeah! I’ll absolutely cooperate, absolutely~!”
“Uh-huh.”
I glanced at the group photo on the living room table, my brow twitching.
It still makes me furious every time I see it, but the photo’s innocent.
There’s one innocent being in it.
...That damn thing.
I turned my gaze to the white furball.
By the way, there had been quite a few suggestions among the members to bring that guy along.
Ah~ If we leave Mung-ge behind, who knows who might steal him?
Hmm, since he was on the show, maybe that’s unlikely...
Whew.
But it’s awkward to keep him at the dorm.
‘We’ve got tours... we’re away so often.’
How Cheongryeo manages to keep a dog, I’ll never know.
Fortunately, a solution came quickly.
My mom said she’d like to raise him...
...!
It turned out Bae Se-jin’s mother, after seeing his photos, texts, and episode one of the show, had decided to take him.
That’s great. We can visit him sometimes~
...Uh, yeah. That sounds good.
-......
Bae Se-jin almost replied, “Lee Se-jin, you’ll come to my house...?” but in the end, she gladly welcomed the visits.
‘If I get leave, maybe I’ll ask to come for a day.’
He sometimes comes to the dorm too, so that’s not bad.
“......”
Anyway, putting all that aside.
Objectively and cool-headedly, the show achieved its intended goals. It generated buzz, and the ratings were pretty solid.
‘The finale was 7.1%.’
Impressive for cable.
In other words, it’s time to see how things are going.
‘I should check the Mireina status and open the status window.’
