Debut or Die-Chapter 278
Is this the fourth time now?
At this point, the fans recognize it as content with its own history and tradition.
Until now, we’ve mostly done it through board games.
So I thought it might be a bit stale to use a similar game again for the room assignment, and decided to change the format this time.
“Hello~ TeSTAR teachers.”
“Hello!”
We’ve brought in an expert right away.
Right now, the seven of us are sitting around in an office at a research institute run by communication specialists.
It’s that contrived, single-camera drama-style dining table layout with the front left open. The camera and crew are there.
But after doing this so many times, everyone looks natural.
I glanced at the guys looking at the expert with eager faces.
The expert was wearing a gentle smile.
“I understand you’ve asked us to help with roommate assignments today—am I correct?”
“Yes!”
Bae Sejin answered loudly, his face full of energy.
It sounded like the most spirited voice he’d used in the past month—probably because # Nоvеlight # he was hoping for a single room.
“They say living in the common room is fine.”
Even so, liking the living room and staying there because you’re too awkward to go into a room are two different things.
I thought I saw Big Sejin glance at Bae Sejin with a sour look, but in an instant—because of filming—the expression vanished.
The director, who had emerged from behind the expert, looked around at the smiling guys and spoke again.
“At our Communication Relations Lab, we use algorithmic analysis based on group members’ personalities, tendencies, and lifestyle habits...”
Putting aside this PPL introduction, here’s the conclusion.
“Through behavioral analysis and interviews, we’ll match you with the most suitable roommate.”
“Wooo!”
It’s called “Roommate Assignment Is Science.”
Sounds plausible enough.
Honestly, it seems like a packaged venture that just follows existing business models, but it did sound impressive.
The fans will find this fun.
If we pair their analysis with footage of TeSTAR’s habits and routines, it’ll highlight each character nicely.
It works like MBTI.
Affinity from similar traits.
Image reinforcement from different traits.
Big Sejin tried to hype it up again to keep the vibe.
“I’m so excited!”
“.......”
Got it—no need to pat your shoulders.
“Then let’s start with a group activity!”
“Oooh!”
The director left, leaving only the expert, and the group interview began.
“We did the individual interviews before the opening shoot.”
This is the main event... look at the first question.
[Here is a farmer who raises ducks and cows. One winter, this farmer decides to raise only one type of livestock.]
[Which livestock would it be?]
“Feel free to answer however you like.”
“...?”
This is like one of those IQ-test quizzes floating around online.
At best, it feels like a creative question for a corporate interview.
Where’s the expertise...
The individual interviews were professional, but this feels like it’s just for show.
Well, whatever—it’s content that matters here.
I watched the others chatter, waiting for my moment to participate.
“I think it would be ducks? They’re easier to care for, right? In winter, you could even bring them indoors~”
“That’s true. But if there are too many, wouldn’t it be hard to manage?”
“I know! Cows produce more food! Cow it is. Go Cow!”
Everyone was so enthusiastic.
I raised my hand and looked at the expert.
“Is there a correct answer to this question?”
“No. Please feel free to demonstrate your imagination and thinking.”
“Oh~”
As if the expert’s words were a catalyst, the members chimed in again.
“Hmm, since it’s winter... Ah! Maybe the farmer wants to make a down comforter from duck feathers?”
“That’s it! Ah-hyun, you’re so smart~”
“Ah-hyun, that’s a great idea!”
...Actually, half of them were genuinely excited, and the other half were trying to play up the content. 𝗳𝐫𝚎𝗲𝚠𝚎𝗯𝕟𝐨𝘃𝚎𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝗺
They’d clearly spotted the format’s loophole.
The structure felt hollow.
There’s no model answer, so is random brainstorming appealing as content?
“I choose chickens.”
“Huh??”
“There was no rule saying I had to choose between ducks or cows, so I picked the most economical livestock.”
“Whoa.”
“Look at Mundae’s brain.”
They gave decent answers, but it didn’t feel very interesting.
The expert closed the questioning like this.
“Thank you for your answers. I appreciate your good opinions.”
“Hehe.”
“No, thank you~”
There was no summary.
If this segment was just going to throw out random questions instead of expertise, it would have been more helpful to categorize us by approach.
There are so many type tests these days. They compare everything from drama characters to trees.
[You are the ‘Sturdy Pine’ type!]
Something like that.
It wasn’t even timed.
Without an immediate stimulus, it felt dull.
I glanced at the crew. I even saw some people I worked with on that overseas street-food show.
‘Have we fallen into a rut?’
This must have been a casting mistake.
“The next question, please.”
The only good thing was that after a few similar Q&As, we got a mid-brief review.
“Now, I’ve observed your response styles a bit.”
The expert picked up a sheet of paper and spoke skillfully.
“First, our Seon Ah-hyun! You tend to take a bit longer to answer because you make decisions carefully and think deeply.”
“Yes....”
“It’s not a weakness; it seems you consider others while finding your own stance. You’ll likely become a wise leader.”
“Th-thank you....”
“Oooh~”
Ah-hyun’s face turned red and he bowed deeply. The others applauded.
“And Bae Sejin.”
“...! Yes!!”
Sejin, who had been smiling at Ah-hyun, was startled.
“You’re decisive, and even in unfamiliar or uncomfortable environments, your will to do your best shows.”
“Um....”
This time Sejin’s face went bright red.
“In particular, you were very proactive on the ‘who has the key’ question...”
In this way, all seven members received very positive behavioral reviews in turn.
They covered the two youngest and Big Sejin next to me....
“And Ryu Cheong-woo tends to hang back and back up others’ opinions, possibly because you’re the leader.”
“Hmm. That makes sense.”
Cheong-woo smiled faintly and responded. I expected he wasn’t too interested.
And finally, it was my turn.
The expert met my gaze and said,
“Park Mundae, you have a very broad perspective. People often say you ‘see the big picture,’ right?”
“Hahaha! Exactly! That’s it~”
“Mundae hyung is just like that!”
A few guys enthusiastically echoed, as if they'd fallen for a slick talker.
One guy seemed to truly believe the expert.
‘If Rae-bin ever goes into business, I’ll stop him.’
Regardless of my feelings, the expert ended on another positive note.
“You often come up with unconventional ideas, like an idea bank the group needs.”
“Thank you.”
She ties words together well, and the gentle, emotion-free delivery was nice.
She must be matching my comments to pre-collected data.
‘Still, it’s bland.’
Hearing it all spun into a narrative without technical terms or analysis gave it no punch.
‘Earlier I joked about internet type tests, but that might’ve been more fun.’
At least that’s clearly absurd.
I stared at the expert, feeling a bit empty.
“Then, for the next question... ah, let’s take a short break.”
“Okay~”
The expert cut the scene at the crew’s signal.
Everyone visibly relaxed.
Me too.
“Phew.”
‘That was underwhelming.’
When predicting the success of this content, it felt weak.
I shrugged.
‘It’s done now.’
They’ve already started filming, so worrying won’t help. Let’s just focus on the shoot.
“That was an interesting experience. I feel I’ve learned more deeply about myself!”
“I need an explanation for this! What does ‘sturdy’ mean?”
...Some of the guys were genuinely excited, so the fans would find it heartwarming.
This much fan-service content is a solid average.
“Just a moment....”
At that moment, the crew quietly got up during the break and moved, leaving only the cameraman and a few people.
“Huh?”
“They said they’re going to meet the director.”
I thought perhaps the crew also felt this was lacking.
The expert, who had been standing before us, smiled and headed down the hallway.
“Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.”
“Sure!”
Suddenly, the room emptied out.
Me too.
“...”
Then—
“Ugh!”
The expert, opening the back door to leave, grabbed the back of her neck, hesitated, and stumbled backward.
And collapsed.
Thud.
... screech.
Her white lab coat shoved halfway through the door.
“...??”
“E-Expert??”
“What the—”
Cardiac arrest?
I tried to follow the guys who rushed forward.
But—
Suddenly, a steel door slammed down right above that back door.
Clang!
“What the—”
It was blocked.
‘Fuck, what is this?’
Not only that, the steel door above the large door the crew exited through also dropped.
Bang!
Crash!
“What is this?”
I immediately tried to check the windows, but those had steel plates down too.
And the lights changed.
Wee-oong! Weee-oong~!
Red and green lights flashed wildly in every corner, sirens blaring.
“Guys, this way!”
At Cheong-woo’s voice, the members sprang from the walls and huddled together.
‘Emergency situation?’
First thing to do is secure our smartphones....
“Hey! Over there!”
I turned at Bae Sejin’s shout.
The huge screen that a question had been on now... had changed.
“Crazy.”
[! AREA CLEAR !]
[Lockdown Complete]
Behind the crimson text, what looked like CCTV footage appeared in split-screen.
People collapsing, doors closing.
And footage of the fallen staggering back up.
[Zombie Virus Outbreak in Lab]
[Facility Detonation in 02:00:00]
“.......”
What?
We fell silent for a moment between stunned glances.
But it didn’t last long.
[01:59:57]
...A countdown started.
“.......”
In an instant, our pupils shook as if shouting,
‘What is this!’
A few seconds later.
We spotted some people hiding in corners.
...the crew, trying not to laugh.
“Hey.”
“No way.”
“Camera director, come out. What is this?”
But the two crew members refused to speak and sat steadfastly in the corner.
Their faces were still beaming.
Only then did the guys start to realize what was happening.
“Ahhh!”
“Got us again!”
This was all staged.
“Heheheh.”
Meanwhile, the crew clenched their teeth, determined not to feed their laughter into the mic.
Bae Sejin jabbed at the screen with his finger.
“Zombie virus!!”
‘I get it.’
I grabbed my head and forced a smile.
They must be assessing our responses to an unexpected situation to gauge our tendencies.
‘Now I see why they made the lab so grandiose.’
And they mixed in an absurd element like ‘zombies’ to skirt PTSD risks and still make it fun.
‘This is ingenious as hell.’
The bland group interview was the buildup for this reveal.
‘I never saw it coming.’
I take back calling it predictable.
Now I understand why they booked the expert.
My blood was pumping.
“Wait, wait!! There’s a door back here!”
“Huh??”
“A door?”
Just then, Yoo-jin urgently pointed behind the crew.
“Hold on—if you have any conscience, please move aside, sister!”
Big Sejin skillfully guided the writer away, then felt along a corner wall.
“Here—”
His right hand uncovered a metal panel. Beneath the glowing light, a large vent appeared.
“Classic move.”
“Is this the right way to get out?”
“Seems so.”
They were already exchanging opinions, fully immersed.
‘Hmm.’
I thought this content would turn out great. But looking at the situation, they must’ve given us a tight time limit—it’s about disaster response.
[1:56:23]
Four minutes had already passed.
But if TeSTAR fails to escape on camera, it’ll kill the vibe.
‘Best to get out clean before they end the scene.’
At that moment, I recalled what the expert had said.
– People often say you ‘see the big picture,’ right?
‘That’s right. I’m a bit obsessed with the big picture.’
I smirked and shook my hand free.
“Let’s go.”
Let’s make this one memorable.
