Debut or Die-Chapter 226

Privacy breach of the group chat got a decent reaction.

“No way this is a comeback hint??? Title track is Rae-bin’s solo self-written song?”

“What’s with that group-chat announcement lol”

[‘No spamming more than 10 emoticons. Okay, you I Sejin’]

“Have you ever seen Mundaedangdang stubbornly talk only about work no matter how much of a mess it is? He’s used to messes because he thinks he’s a puppy”

“No way Bae Sejin actually uses hamster emoticons, are you kidding meㅠㅠㅠㅠ”

As long as there’s nothing particularly problematic, small, friendly content like this is always a steady seller. And since it even hinted at the comeback, it must have been fun.

...Except we got unexpected final-stage approval before posting.

“Um, Mundae, you’ll post the screenshot?”

“Yeah.”

“Wouldn’t Cheong-woo hyung be better for this~? He’s the leader.”

“...!”

“You’re not usually the one to post stuff like this, so I think fans would like it more~ Don’t you agree?”

...He had a point.

It would feel more natural coming from him than me, since I’d already used a similar pattern a few times.

So I took Big Sejin’s feedback and had Ryu Cheong-woo’s account post it cleanly.

“Whoa, it was Cheong-woo.”

“Ah, Ryu Cheong-woo saved everyone’s contact names with animal emoticons for us, are you kidding meㅠㅠ”

Since it got good results, I should have kept quiet and enjoyed it, but I couldn’t help doubting myself.

‘I can’t believe I didn’t think of that before him.’

Didn’t I come across as some hasty kid rushing in with enthusiasm?

I clicked my tongue and crossed my arms.

‘Next time I’ll do it right.’

But first, we had to finish preparing for the comeback properly.

Even though we’d planned everything so it could proceed smoothly if one person joined later, we still needed to synchronize our performance on stage.

The other members besides me had some leeway. We’d already completed many shoots that didn’t require Kim Rae-bin.

But not Rae-bin.

‘He has to do all of that from now on.’

Thanks to that, the moment Rae-bin joined, he was so busy he could start talking shop at the slightest prod.

Yet he still remembered to greet us.

A few nights later, as soon as he had a moment, he slipped into my room.

“Hyuna asked me to deliver this to you and Cha Yu-jin! I added my own touch as much as possible. Thank you so much.”

What Rae-bin handed me was yakgwa and pumpkin sikhye from a local specialty shop. He must have sent them by courier.

But the quantity was enormous.

‘He really knows Cha Yu-jin’s taste well...’

Since it would be odd to give us different things, it made sense to match at least one person’s preference.

I don’t have any strong likes or dislikes about food.

‘I wonder when we’ll ever finish eating all this.’

Still, I had to say something.

I took the huge bunched box wrapped in bojagi.

“Thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”

“Thank you! I’ll be sure to pass it on to hyuna.”

Rae-bin smiled broadly and bowed his head. His usual fierce expression and the fact he’d barely slept in days made it a bit pointless, though.

After hesitating, I finally asked.

“...How’s your grandmother?”

“She’s fine! We keep in touch regularly, and she says she’s steadily regaining her strength.”

That was a relief.

I nodded silently.

“And I asked her to please tell me honestly if she experiences any illness or physical discomfort from now on...”

“Good call.”

I patted his shoulder once or twice.

Now that we’d gone through this once, we’d be able to handle it more calmly if the moment Rae-bin worried about ever came.

‘...Even if you can’t avoid it, you can at least deal with it.’

That was enough.

I shook off useless thoughts and picked up the bundle he’d given me.

“So this should be refrigerated, right?”

“That’s right. ...Oh, hyung! I’ll carry it!”

“Don’t bother. I already have it.”

Just as I was about to put the bundle’s contents into the fridge—

“Oh, by the way, I have a question I wanted to ask!”

“What is it?”

Rae-bin followed me, raising his hand.

“Why did you make the fans public on the group chat for the remote work messages on this album?”

“...!”

“There’s still no official press release for this album, so I was worried there might be a risk of leaks...”

Rae-bin’s eyes lit up.

“I wanted to ask what efficiency you expected that risk to justify!”

“.......”

I’d never considered such a risk.

I looked at him, somewhat sourly.

‘Unless someone hacks KakaoTalk’s servers, there’s no way the songs could leak.’

We’re too serious about the songs and album to worry about theoretical risks.

Still, I thought it might feel off for the group to drop personal comeback hints before the official announcement.

But I couldn’t exactly justify directly saying that.

‘I have to pick the least triggering part and tie it together.’

I spoke calmly.

“Some fans noticed you were at your family home. I told them that to reassure them.”

That was the real reason. Quite a few people worried about Rae-bin’s mental health and condition.

Of course, my primary goal was to shut up those idiots.

lol looks like Rae-bin is more serious about his career than you guys~

where did they all go?

it must’ve been fun for the godly one to handle it before you guys even tried, too bad you missed out

Seeing those reactions put my mind at ease.

‘That was the right move.’

“Is that so?”

But Rae-bin still looked puzzled.

“But when the official comeback press release goes out next week, everyone would have felt reassured anyway.”

“...!”

“The fun the chat screenshot could give would still be valid then, so it would’ve been safer and better to upload it after... ah, no! Sorry for interrupting.”

“.......”

I stared blankly.

Was he right?

He wasn’t saying Rae-bin’s leak-risk hypothesis was valid, but that there was no need to respond directly to that bullshit undercurrent.

Once the comeback teaser dropped, it would all clear up anyway.

Posting the group chat screenshot in a hurry would only hint that I was conscious of that bullshit.

At least it looked natural since Cheong-woo posted it instead of me.

My initial judgment... was wrong.

“You’re right.”

I muttered.

A voice came to mind.

But don’t worry too much, hyung. How can you just change someone else’s feelings at will?

That’s not true, and not everyone believes it...!

Hearing the others complain, I had acknowledged my obsession with controlling public opinion, then repeated the same behavior.

This time I’d done something useless like a dumbass, with no benefit.

It was obvious.

I was just... unable to stand being criticized on top of having family members die. Fuck.

“I was too sensitive and messed up.”

“Ah, no! It’s my fault for asking an unnecessary question...”

“No, you were right.”

I kept muttering.

“I must’ve been reminded of old thoughts for no reason.”

“Old thoughts?”

“Yes.”

Words poured out as if my spinal cord froze.

“I was late.”

“Late...?”

“When I got there, all the other families had already finished identification. Only our parents were left there that late....”

Are you crazy?

I bit my tongue.

“Tongue, hyung.” 𝒻𝑟ℯℯ𝑤𝑒𝑏𝑛𝘰𝓋𝑒𝓁.𝒸𝑜𝘮

“Sorry for saying something useless. Anyway, your inference was right. It was my mistake, and there was no grand meaning or efficiency behind it.”

“S-sorry...!”

Rae-bin looked on the verge of tears. Damn.

I put down the box and pressed my hand to my forehead.

“Why are you apologizing?”

“For choosing a topic that reminded you of a hard time...”

“No.”

I told him the truth.

“I didn’t handle it well back then, and it was painful...”

“No!”

Rae-bin cut me off.

He looked tense, clenching his fists.

“As far as I remember, hyung was studying at the academy when you got the news... So you received it after some time, right?”

“...That’s right.”

We’d even discussed that.

Rae-bin nodded vigorously.

“But as students, our duty is... to study, right?”

“...!!”

What the?

I stared at him as if I’d just been slapped in the back of the head.

“You were just doing your best in your own position. So it was... just an accident.”

Rae-bin swallowed hard.

“Just like it wasn’t my fault that I went on the MT.”

“...!”

“Right? Of course the circumstances were a bit different, but....”

Right.

You’re not me.

But still, I had done my best back then, too.

I simply couldn’t admit there was no way to avoid the pain, no matter what I did.

Nobody is good at this kind of thing.

Just as I told Rae-bin, nobody is good at this kind of thing.

“.......”

I grabbed my head.

The shock was strong, but the answer was clear.

Judging by Rae-bin’s reaction, I finally saw it.

‘What great handling could a middle schooler manage.’

I had thought he was too young to go through bereavement, yet I couldn’t give myself that understanding when I was even younger.

So now... maybe it’s time to reevaluate.

‘Yeah. He did well enough.’

For a middle schooler, that effort was commendable.

“.......”

Somehow I felt unburdened.

...I have a baseless feeling I’ll sleep well tonight.

“Tongue, I think there’s a basis for making a similar emotional judgment from our recent situations, but....”

“Yes?”

Still, let me confirm this first.

This poor kid was still watching me, trying to persuade me.

Rae-bin’s face brightened.

“...! That’s right! So it was my fault for reminding you of a painful experience!”

“No, that’s not it.”

He sounded too cheerfully self-blaming. He seemed gleeful at making his point.

I picked up the yakgwa and sikhye box again and spoke as gently as I could.

“...Thank you for putting it nicely.”

“Hup!”

Rae-bin bowed his head again.

“Actually, hyung, thank you so much. Thanks to you, I’ve received so much help and was able to participate in the album safely.”

That, too, was beneficial for the group, and he was still going on. It would never end at this rate.

‘I need to lighten the mood.’

I asked lightly.

“Did you give Cha Yu-jin a thank-you gift as well?”

Rae-bin straightened his expression.

“No. I did it on the side.”

“.......”

I didn’t know if they were that close or mocking each other, but I hoped fans saw it as the former.

I shrugged and organized the yakgwa and sikhye in the fridge.

“I’ll enjoy it.”

“Yes!”

By the way, everyone snacked on those gifts while preparing for the comeback and then had to seriously manage their weight at the end.

‘Serves them right.’

...The strange thing was Cha Yu-jin wasn’t affected.

Anyway, that funny incident was brief. The album release day was drawing ever closer.

The first signal was the teaser release.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m not. Go away.”

Rae-bin’s personal fan shoved her curious younger brother, grinding her teeth.

‘He could just look for it himself, but he’s acting like he’s picking a fight with her!’

Of course, even accounting for that, her reaction was more intense than usual.

She had a worry.

‘Is Kim Rae-bin really okay...!’

Word had trickled out that his grandparents collapsed, causing a late join to preparations.

The fan ripped at her nails.

‘At least from the SNS post it looks like the family issue didn’t get worse.’

Still, since preparation time was short, she had a bad feeling Rae-bin’s album part might be small....

‘Shut up! If you’re so worried, go demand more lines on the next album!’

Why worry yourself sick over it!

She yelled once, then gripped the mouse again.

It was sure to drop at midnight....

‘It’s up!’

[TeSTAR ‘Burum’ (Nightmare) Official MV Teaser]

And she covered her mouth.

“Huh.”