Careful What You Think, Pervert! (My Dirty Thoughts Became Real)-Chapter 24: You Always Come Back to Me, But You Never Stay.”

The problem with being the "older one"...

Is that people assume you're fine.

Stable. Mature. In control.

But I've never been in control of anything.

Especially not you.

You moved into my apartment a year ago.

My sweet, dumb little junior with too many books and a brain that works harder than his heart.

And at first, it was simple.

You were awkward.

I was teasing.

You blushed.

I laughed.

You panicked.

I comforted.

Over and over.

It was safe.

Because you were never going to fall for me.

That's what I believed.

And then you started looking at me for real.

Not just at my chest. (Though... that too.)

But really looking.

Like maybe you saw something in me I was trying to hide.

And then you met her.

Kokoro.

And suddenly, I wasn't the only one who made you flinch.

You started drifting.

Not intentionally.

Not cruelly.

Just slowly.

Like someone swimming toward a shore they didn't notice.

But I noticed.

Every time you looked past me.

Every time you hesitated to come home.

Every time you smiled at your phone and it wasn't because of me.

Beach Trip – Night 1

I watched you confess to the sea. fɾeewebnoveℓ.co๓

And you looked relieved.

Like shouting into the ocean made it safer than saying it to a person.

I cheered like it was funny.

But that night, in the inn, I cried into my pillow so quietly even the walls didn't hear.

Sparklers.

You held her hand too long.

Not mine.

I saw it.

So did she.

And neither of you looked away.

That's when I knew:

I wasn't your "home" anymore.I was your habit.

Tuesday Night – Apartment

You came home late.

Said "sorry" with those tired eyes like always.

I asked if you wanted dinner.

You said "maybe later."

I said, "Sure."

You didn't eat.

You never do when you're guilty.

That night, I went through the drawer.

The one you never touch.

Inside:

Receipts from the first month you moved in.

That dumb ramen ticket from our "non-date."

And the photo we took on my birthday when you didn't even realize I was crying right before.

I looked at it and whispered:

"You always come back to me, Kazuki.But you never stay."

Wednesday – The Note

I found it.

Kokoro's letter.

She must've slipped it into your bag by mistake—or maybe not.

Maybe she wanted me to see.

It wasn't long.

But it hit like a hammer.

"Pick someone.Because you want to.Because you need to."

I held it in my hands and realized:

I was already losing.

Not because you loved her.

But because I was too afraid to ask if you ever loved me.

That Night

You came home again.

Same tired smile.

Same quiet.

But this time, I didn't play along.

I stood by the doorway and blocked your path.

"You need to say something, Kazuki."

You blinked.

"About...?"

"About me. About her. About this entire emotional game of dodgeball you're playing with our hearts."

You looked away.

I stepped closer.

"No more running. No more 'I don't know.'"

You opened your mouth.

Closed it.

That was enough.

I sighed.

Walked past you.

And whispered:

"You don't have to choose me, Kazuki.But if you don't choose anything soon...I'll stop waiting."

Then I shut the door to my room.

And for the first time since you moved in...

I locked it.

Elsewhere – Kazuki's POV

I stood in the hallway.

Her words echoing.

My brain screaming with thoughts I didn't want to face.

She's right.

They're both right.

And no amount of overthinking will fix this.

So I sat down.

Back against the wall.

And I whispered to myself:

"Please stop becoming real, brain.Because next time you do...I might lose everything."