Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 450: Guilt And Desire

Mu Yuze’s gaze dropped to the bags in He Juan’s hand and surprise flashed through his eyes. "What have you bought?"

’Get a grip of yourself, He Juan!’ Repeating those words again and again in his mind, He Juan swiftly concealed the turmoil in his heart and let out a light-hearted laugh, "Many things. Let’s go in first. You are still recovering, so don’t catch a cold."

He ushered Mu Yuze into the house and placed the bags on the dining table. Then he proceeded to show Mu Yuze each item he had bought and explained their usage according to what the auntie had told him. In the end, he also added, "The beddings and blankets in the house are not enough. Gege will go out to buy more later."

Noticing Mu Yuze’s hesitation, He Juan quickly intervened with a firm tone that brooked no refusal, "It’s a must. You will feel more comfortable this way, okay? Your body is different now, so you have to take good care of it."

To be completely honest, He Juan was afraid that Mu Yuze would say something like he did not need more nesting materials because he already had his Juan-gege’s clothes, and that’s why He Juan kept rambling about the importance of proper bedding for Omegas.

Otherwise, if he were to hear such a sentence coming from Mu Yuze’s mouth...

He had no idea.

He Juan did not even know what he was capable of right now, and it made him all the more apprehensive. Each second he spent by Mu Yuze’s side was akin to counting time until the bomb exploded. And He Juan despised it— this feeling of losing control and becoming someone whom he could barely recognize.

But of course, he kept all these worries hidden beneath a composed façade. He pushed the items aside and opened the package of porridge for Mu Yuze. He also inserted a straw into the soy milk and placed it before the boy. "Eat well. Even if you don’t have much appetite, try to have a little."

Mu Yuze noticed that He Juan made no move to touch his own portion. "What about you, Gege?" he asked with a slight frown. "You’re not eating?"

Just the sight of those tiny furrows between Mu Yuze’s brows nearly drove He Juan insane. He was ready to forsake everything just to smooth those creases away, to ensure the boy’s happiness and smiles. It was an urge so powerful that it knocked He Juan breathless. ’How dangerous...’ he thought with trepidation. ’Is this the true extent of our bond? Is this how it will be between us from now on?’

Outwardly, He Juan reached out to ruffle the boy’s hair with a casual smile, "You eat first. Gege will take a shower."

After receiving Mu Yuze’s nod, he made his way to his bedroom. Though his gait seemed normal at a glance, everyone who knew him well would notice that his pace was slightly quicker, as if he was attempting to escape, to distance himself from the intoxicating scent of Mu Yuze’s pheromones that threatened to unravel him.

And in a sense, he was truly running away.

However, he soon realized that it was no use, as he could still smell Mu Yuze even after he closed the door behind him. The boy’s pheromones clung to his clothes, his hair, his skin, the tip of his nose— everywhere. Permeating every fiber of his being. Just like a potent drug that slowly seeped into his system, disarming him from within.

He grabbed his shirt by the back, pulled it over his head and tossed it on the hamper beside the wardrobe, followed by his trousers and boxer briefs. Naked, he stepped into the bathroom and stood beneath the showerhead, turning the temperature to its lowest setting.

The cold water cascaded over his body, washing away the remnants of the pheromones. Yet, despite the physical cleansing, the scent seemed to linger in his mind. He glanced down at his male region that had turned half-mast and cursed under his breath, "Fuck..."

"You’re a bastard, an animal..." he spat out through gritted teeth, his voice lost amidst the loud pitter patter of water slapping against floor tiles. "How can you fucking get a boner just from this?"

’But he’s our mate...’ his Alpha whispered to him, like the words of the snake when it enticed Eve to eat the forbidden apple. ’He is meant for us, our other half...’

He Juan’s breathing quickened as guilt and desire waged a fierce battle within him. ’He is Mu Yuze, the boy I have taken as my brother! The boy whom I have watched growing up! How could I... how could..."

At that moment, as if a Pandora box had been opened, fragments of memories flooded He Juan’s mind. He recalled the first time he had seen Mu Yuze in the police station. He was so skinny and small, clad only in tattered clothes with his skin marred in ugly bruises. So thin that a mere gust of wind would be able to blow him away. Yet the eyes that glared at He Juan were akin to a pair of burning embers, so bright and dazzling that he could not take his gaze off.

"I forgot to ask, what’s your name again?"

"I say... it’s Mu Yuze!"

"It’s a very good name. Gentle like the rain... Mu Yuze. It’s set. From now on, I will call you Xiao Ze, okay?"

In a blink of an eye, the prickly and wary child had grown into a mature, sensible and quiet young boy. Since when did those eyes, which always regarded He Juan with suspicion and caution, become soft and unguarded as if gazing at the person whom he trusted the most in the world?

"I will grow up healthy and strong... so that next time, I don’t need you to come save me again, Juan-gege. In the future, I... I will be able to protect myself. I promise. That’s why, you don’t need to send me away..."

"Please... Juan-gege, I want to stay."

"I don’t care what people think of you. I don’t care how the media portrays you. For me, you are Juan-gege, and I will not change my mind no matter how many people persuade me otherwise... even if it’s you."

"Juan-gege."

"Gege..."

Mu Yuze was taciturn. He did not like to talk very much, yet each word he said had come from the bottom of his heart. They had a way of touching He Juan in a way that no one else ever had.

Almost three years had passed since they first met, and He Juan was astonished to discover that he could remember everything the boy had told him. Word by word. Sentence by sentence. Even his micro expressions when he said them. All of them were engraved into his mind and locked in a very special chamber that even he did not realize...

He Juan suddenly let out a laugh, tinged with a bitter sense of defeat. Closing his eyes, he tightened his jaws and reached out to grasp the base of his erection.