Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 416: I Miss You...

"Do you really hate Gege now?" He Juan flicked his eyes to him only to avert his gaze in the next second, as if... as if he was afraid of what he was going to find on Mu Yuze’s face.

And only then did Mu Yuze recall how he had blurted those words in the heat of the moment. He buried his face into his hands again, wishing that the ground would open up beneath him and sparing him from the utter humiliation. H–How could he... oh God, he almost confessed his feelings to He Juan right there and then! If he had not been crying so hard that he could not even gasp for breath, if He Juan had not carried him into the house upon seeing his bare feet... he was certain that the tune of their conversation right now would have sailed into a totally different direction!

"Xiao Ze?" He Juan sounded so nervous that it made him feel more ashamed of himself. "Is that... Is that question so difficult to answer?"

Mu Yuze needed no mirror to know that his face was as red as a boiled lobster, but fortunately he could act foolish and chalk it up to his crying incident earlier. "No..." he mumbled, still unable to lift his head up. "I don’t hate you at all..."

Such a feeble answer did not sound convincing at all in He Juan’s ears. "Then why couldn’t you say it while looking me in the eye? Hmm?"

’That’s because I am seconds away from dying in sheer embarrassment! Why can’t you understand?!’ He cursed at how oblivious He Juan was. But granted, how was he supposed to know that the boy he had taken under his wings was secretly harboring unwanted feelings toward him?

He could not let He Juan know – he must not. It was only with that thought in mind that Mu Yuze managed to scramble together a semblance of composure, enough to raise his head to meet He Juan’s eyes. "Just now... I was too caught up in the moment. I didn’t really mean it. I swear."

"Hmm..." He Juan narrowed his eyes in scrutiny, and Mu Yuze felt a droplet of sweat trickle down his neck when that intense gaze bore down on him. Much to his surprise, he managed to stand his ground and keep his composure until a relieved smile bloomed on He Juan’s face. And only then did he let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding.

"Thank God..." He Juan raked his fingers through his hair and let out a bitter laugh. "If you still haven’t forgiven me, I was prepared to receive a punch or two, you know?"

Mu Yuze shot him a muted glare. This man clearly knew that Mu Yuze would not be able to hurt him, and that must be why he dared to say such a sentence!

"It’s been a year, huh..." He Juan’s silver eyes thawed into a pool of molten copper, so soft and tender as water when they lay on him. "Let me take a good look at you. Hmm, as I thought, our Xiao Ze has become so handsome! You have grown a lot taller too," he made a gesture around his chest and laughed fondly when he recalled the tiny Mu Yuze from a year ago. "Previously, you only reached my torso at most. Geez, how can you grow up so quickly?"

Mu Yuze grumbled with a sullen look, "Not tall enough."

"Then how tall do you want to become?" He Juan asked curiously.

His gaze went to the top of He Juan’s head, causing the man to burst out into a fit of hearty laughter. "Me...?" He asked, almost wheezing. "You want to be as tall as me?"

Mu Yuze clenched his fists and glared at him with his cheeks flushed. Why was he laughing like that? Was it so impossible for him to grow tall and formidable like He Juan?

Realizing that his reaction was not very suitable, He Juan cleared his throat and hurried to rectify his mistake, "My bad. Of course, our Xiao Ze can grow that tall in the future. He will be as tall— no, even taller than me. I’m certain of it!" He Juan declared passionately, and Mu Yuze had a strong urge to roll his eyes when he heard that. Did He Juan think that he was a three years old child who could be coaxed so easily like that?

He Juan’s laughter eventually faded into a slight smile tinged with melancholy, and he opened his arms for Mu Yuze. "Give Gege a hug?"

Mu Yuze bit the inside of his cheek. He pulled his legs away from He Juan’s lap and shuffled closer to the man inch by inch, just like a hesitant little bunny with its little nose sniffing the air around. All the while, He Juan waited patiently for him with a smile, and it was not until Mu Yuze leaned on him did He Juan finally close his arms around the boy, engulfing him in a warm embrace.

The curve of his lips deepened when he sensed Mu Yuze’s body slowly relaxing, and he pressed his nose on the boy’s hair and took a deep inhale. "I miss you..." he whispered. "It may not sound believable to you, but trust me, Xiao Ze. I missed you so, so much..."

Mu Yuze’s heart tightened painfully in his chest. Slowly, he lifted his arms and wrapped them around He Juan, returning the hug. He buried his face deeper into the man’s shoulder and let the tears seep into the man’s clothes. He Juan’s pheromones cocooned around him like a warmly knitted blanket, offering him a powerful sense of comfort and safety he could find nowhere else.

Rosewood and whiskey, he finally had a name for this scent he liked the most.

"You have grown up so well," He Juan continued to say in a gentle voice. "Too bad that Gege couldn’t accompany you along the way. If you don’t mind, can you share with Gege how you are doing this past year?"

Mu Yuze nodded again and again. This was what he had always wanted – to tell He Juan the little tidbits of his ordinary life. And to think that it was the man who requested it first, Mu Yuze almost could not contain the joy, sorrow and affection swelling in his heart.

’I like you...’ he wished he could say. ’I like you so much. There can be no one else but you... not now and not forever...’

With a choked and nasally voice, he started to talk. He told He Juan about Kitty’s four kittens, the progress of his study with Teacher Wei and his high school entrance examination this year, his first sparring session, the friend he had made in the dojo... he rambled about everything that came to mind, and all the time He Juan listened intently without a word.

He only laughed once Mu Yuze started to complain about his changing voice. "So that’s why your voice is like this," he remarked playfully. "And here I thought that you had caught a cold. Tsk, our Xiao Ze is really becoming an adult, isn’t he?"

Mu Yuze’s cheeks turned warm. He eased back from He Juan’s embrace and carelessly wiped the tears and snot on his face, sniffling. What kind of adult cried so hard like this? How embarrassing! "How about you?" He asked in a feeble attempt to change the topic.

"Hmm?"

"How are you doing this past year? You suddenly left without a word... Were you hurt, by any chance?" He asked, his gaze turning sharp all of a sudden.