Captured By The Cold Detective (BL)-Chapter 414: I Hate You!

Mu Yuze had imagined this scene countless times in his head; He Juan, coming back home to him.

When that time came, he had promised himself that he would stand tall in front of He Juan and let the man see how grown up he had become. He would not allow He Juan to see the misery, loneliness and sorrow buried deep inside his heart. He would even try to show a smile and welcome the man’s return calmly like how an adult was supposed to be.

For he wanted nothing but to show his best side to He Juan.

But it seemed like he had sorely overestimated himself, after all.

As soon as he saw He Juan running toward him through the tears blurring his vision, all the accumulated grievance, anger and heartbreak instantly burst out of his chest and rolled over like a rumbling tsunami that swept his composure away, leaving nothing but destruction and chaos in his wake. The desolate and sleepless nights he had spent alone, the unspoken love and longing he had desperately restrained, the abrupt departure and unfulfilled promise, all of it flashed through his mind like a fast-forwarded movie, amplifying the turbulent waves in his heart and before he knew it, he had stood up and rushed to He Juan, his bare feet stepping on the scorching hot ground and forming blisters. Yet he could not afford to care about the pain at all. Not right now.

"Why?!" He slammed his fists on He Juan’s chest and demanded with his still scratchy voice. "Why did you leave me alone? Where have you gone?! Why... why have you come back only now..."

He could see He Juan’s shocked expression through the tears pooling in his eyes, and his heart gave a painful shudder. No... this was not what he wanted at all. He he did not want to cause ruckus and throw tantrums like this. He never wanted to show He Juan this hideous side of him. But he couldn’t... oh God, he could not stop...!

He was crying so hard that he struggled to catch his breath, his fists bunching He Juan’s white shirt so tight that it wrinkled. "I hate you! I hate you for leaving without a word! I hate you for breaking our promise! I hate..." I hate that I am still waiting for you, still yearning for you with each passing day.

He choked on his tears, the words getting stuck on his throat.

"X–Xiao Ze..." He Juan caught the boy’s shaking figure in his arms, his heart shattering to pieces at the sight of the tears rolling down his beautiful cheeks. "Xiao Ze, Mu Yuze, don’t cry. I’m here now. Don’t cry, okay...?" He cupped Mu Yuze’s face and tried to wipe those tears away to no avail, as they kept falling from the boy’s eyes akin to a string of crystalline pearls.

This heartbreaking sight slapped him across the face and forcefully woke him up to the harsh reality. He had thought that distancing himself from Mu Yuze was the best decision– no, he was certain of it. Only this way could he keep the boy out of harm’s way.

Until he saw the endless tears, the vivid and heart-wrenching agony in those soulful eyes, the chapped lips that painfully gasped for air to breathe, the thin and fragile figure...

It was him who had caused Mu Yuze this kind of pain. It was him who had chosen to leave and force Mu Yuze to bear with the misery all alone. Oh goodness, what had he done...?

His keen eyes noticed it when Mu Yuze lifted his fist to deliver a punch. He could very well evade it, but he stayed rooted in place and accepted it without batting an eyelid. He deserved this at the very least for the hurt he had put Mu Yuze through.

However, a split second before that fist could connect with his face, Mu Yuze faltered. "Why..." he asked, his voice extremely hoarse and shaky. "Why didn’t you dodge it?"

"Because I don’t want to," he caught the boy’s fist in a gentle grasp and brought it to his face. He tried to put on a reassuring smile on his face, though he had no idea how well it was working right now. "It’s okay, Xiao Ze... do it."

Yet it was this gentle encouragement of his that became the last straw to dismantle Mu Yuze’s armor apart, down to the deepest core. Instead of giving him a punch, Mu Yuze caught his neck and pulled him lower, hugging him tight as if he was the only lifeline amidst the wrecking storm under his feet.

He buried his face into He Juan’s shoulder and wept, "Juan-gege... Juan-gege..." was all he could utter again and again.

And oh boy, it hurt. Hearing Mu Yuze call out to him in such an agonizing voice hurt even more than when the boy said he hated him. He felt like someone had punched holes into his heart, rendering him unable to breathe. Gingerly, he let his arms wound around Mu Yuze’s thin and trembling body, hugging him back. Patting his back in a futile attempt to comfort.

"Sorry..." He tightened his arms around Mu Yuze, and he tilted his head to brush his lips softly against the boy’s temple. "I’m sorry... I’m so sorry..." he murmured his gentle apology again and again, as the boy continued to tremble and cry his heart out.

He Juan had no idea how long he kept patting and murmuring reassuring words until Mu Yuze’s violent sobs receded into little sniffles and hiccups. His heart ached so badly for this boy that he wished Mu Yuze would just punch him in the face to vent his anger a bit. At least, everything would not be so unbearable as now.

He Juan had just opened his mouth to say something when his gaze inadvertently lowered to Mu Yuze’s feet and he snapped back to his senses the instant he saw the boy’s bare feet. Oh God, how could he forget?! "Xiao Ze, wait—" he tried to loosen the boy’s hold around his neck, but Mu Yuze shook his head and hugged him tighter instead, unwilling to let go.

Sighing, He Juan could only let him be. "Hold tight," was all the warning he gave before he hoisted Mu Yuze up by the hips, easily carrying him with only one arm.

"J–Juan gege!" Mu Yuze scrambled to hold onto his shoulders for purchase when his legs were suddenly dangling in midair, and his flushed cheeks reddened even more upon seeing how effortless it was for He Juan to bear his entire weight. The jolt of shock and embarrassment was effective to make him stop crying almost instantly. "P–Put... just put me down! I can walk on my own!"

"Hush," He Juan was amused seeing him protesting yet not daring to move. "Aren’t you the one who doesn’t want to let go? Now just stay still and let Gege bring you inside."

.

. 𝓯𝓻𝒆𝙚𝒘𝓮𝙗𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝒍.𝙘𝓸𝙢

A/N: Happy birthday to Jenny_Mcclellan <3<3 today’s mass release is dedicated for you :D