Bought For A Baby, Kept For A Lifetime-Chapter 255: Help Me

In this moment, Anne suddenly felt certain that she had seen through all the rigid walls that had always risen high up in Andrew’s life. The foundation of that wall had been built when the warmth of childhood faded away from his life.

She suddenly saw the image of a little boy, waiting for someone who never came. She could see the boy in the man right now.

His dark eyes which always looked rigid and firm showing no emotion suddenly cracked. She could see pain locked away for years within those eyes.

Maybe he had felt how his walls were melting, he suddenly put up a resistance, attempting to move away from how her hand rested on his face, the pale white and delicate hand kept on his cheek warmly. When Anne felt him moving she held him still, not pulling away instead cupping his face with both hands so he wouldn’t want to look away from her again.

His face was so cold, much like how rigid his heart was, reminding one of ice but her hands were warm, contrasting with his temperature, her thumb moved to subtly stroke his face.

A while ago he had given her something she had always wanted, to have her brother back, yet he himself had deep internal wounds that hadn’t healed yet.

Just like he had healed her wound, Anne wanted to heal his as well.

"She left you..." Anne murmured in a pain filled voice. Her heart was aching so badly, it was as if she could feel his sorrow like a living, breathing thing, a weight that settled heavy on her chest. Tears welled up in her eyes not just for the pain but for the deep ache of wanting to take it all away.

Her insistent touch opened the concealed fortress in his heart. In those fierce eyes, Anne suddenly saw something she had never thought she would ever see on him before.

His black orbs glistened as if there were stars in them, but instead there was a pool of liquid slowly accumulating.

Anne was frozen in shock at first, her mouth parted but no words came out.

The man who had always stood tall and proud, now had a sheen of tears in his eyes. In those tears she saw the little boy terrified and all alone, it suddenly felt like a dagger had been dug into her heart, twisting painfully.

"You must have felt so alone..." Her voice cracked, becoming soft and husky with tears.

A single, traitorous tear suddenly escaped the corner of his eye, tracing a path down his face till it dropped over her hand, he suddenly looked startled, as if the warm tear that just fell was a foreign item he couldn’t believe came out of him.

He turned sharply, tugging himself out of her hold on his face. She could no longer see his face or his expression, but she knew she had dug up the past, and she couldn’t leave him alone unless she helped him feel the pain and let it go, so Anne moved to go in front of him but he turned away before she could even look in his face. When Anne tried again he turned once more, he didn’t say a word, he just continued to avoid looking at her, repeatedly hiding away.

In the end she was still facing his back.

The warm trail of liquid that just fell from his eyes were tears. Andrew looked down at the moisture on his finger in astonishment, yet as the pain in his heart continued to twist agonizingly, those tears gathered again, stinging his eyes as they did, when he felt them falling again he wiped them off with his thumb staring down at the wetness.

The last time he’d allowed a tear slip his eyes had been fourteen years ago. At that time, his fifteen year old self had seen his mother but she had denied him in public.

’...sorry kid, I don’t have a son.’

He had allowed the last tear to fall that day, and never again.

At the time in order to heal him, elder Sterling had hired the best psychologists to dig deep into him and make sure what happened wouldn’t affect him mentally, none of the skilled psychologists had been able to crack open his heart, but it had taken just a few minutes, just a few words for this woman to peel open his heart and bring out the tears he never shed.

Andrew tried to conjure up his familiar way of shutting down his emotions again so he wouldn’t feel this pain anymore, so these tears would stop, he couldn’t stand her seeing as these tears fell down his eyes. It was pathetic, it was weak. But her voice suddenly sounded behind him,

"It wasn’t your fault."

Her sudden words made his hands tremble slightly.

It wasn’t his fault?

"It was never your fault that she chose to leave."

He heard her say again before gently laying her hand on his shoulder.

It wasn’t his fault?

When he was young he had blamed himself, even hated himself at some point, he hadn’t been worth loving. Why else would the woman who had given birth to him have abandoned him?

"She chose to leave you Andrew, it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t because you were weak, it wasn’t because you were imperfect, you did not drive her away, you weren’t difficult to love, you were a child, and a child’s soul is beautiful and pure. I know you must have carried the weight with you all your life."

Her every word seemed to pierce through him, it felt as if she had seen everything he felt clearly.

How did she come to know that he was still carrying the weight in his chest all these years. He was strong, he was untouchable, but there was a part of him that waited everyday for the day that woman would return, he was powerful now and he had unimaginable wealth, would she think him worthy now? That part inside him didn’t want to take that woman back, that part inside him only wanted to see that she regretted leaving him, this weight...he still carried it to this day.

"Maybe you felt that you must have done something wrong, or that you were not worthy, or you were not good enough but believe me you were perfect, and you had every right to be loved just like everyone else. You turned cold and pushed away everyone else because you believe they could never love you but that isn’t true, you couldn’t have controlled your own mother’s heart, it was never you, it was her."

Her hand on his shoulder felt as a tremor ran through his whole body. Maybe her words were reaching into him, deep into him but he still didn’t turn to face her.

"This wound, no matter how much you continue to suppress it, it’ll always be there. I want you to forget what used to hurt and not just push it down by blocking your emotions. Please...let me help you."

She spoke softly, but as her words fell, the wind howled but there was no reaction from the man who had turned his back to her.

Anne waited but even after several minutes passed, he didn’t move. Her eyes lowered in dejection, slowly she took a step backwards away from him.

Maybe he didn’t trust her enough to show that vulnerable side of himself to her. Maybe she had given herself a little too much credit.

She took another step backwards.

Maybe it was best if she left him alone.

Anne turned to leave but suddenly halted even before she took a single step. A strong hand had suddenly closed over her wrist, grabbing her in a tight hold.

She quickly whirled around realizing Andrew had grabbed her hand before she could leave. She slowly looked up into his eyes and her breath ceased for a moment.

What she saw in his eyes seemed to shatter a piece of her deep inside.

The heartbreak in his eyes was deep and sharp, never had she seen eyes so dense with agony before. These eyes were deeply red and teary, the wetness from the glistening tears dancing in his orbs reflecting the light, there was a deep sense of loneliness in his gaze, out of a man whose shells had been peeled open revealing sheer vulnerability.

His lips were slightly parted and his jaw tense, struggling and failing to stay composed, struggling and failing to keep the tears away.

This man in front of her was internally broken by a grief that lasted so many years in his life. And this grief, he let her see it in this moment as he said something, his voice sounding rough and gratingly raspy,

"Then help me."