[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice-Chapter 302: His Darkest Side, My Brightest Truth
~Nantam’s POV~
"You can’t say no," he murmured, his voice husky, "when you already said yes."
Before I could process the words or struggle, he grabbed my hand and, with surprising strength, pinned me to the wall beside the entry to the specialized room. The cold, hard surface pressed against my back.
I started shaking, the sight of the ropes and harnesses flashing behind my eyes. "You are not going to rape me, are you?" The question was barely a whisper, thick with fear.
He looked down at me and scoffed—without anger, just pure disbelief. "Rape you? Nan, that’s not who I am." He let go of my wrist but kept his arms braced against the wall on either side of me, boxing me in gently. "Breathe. I need you to calm down."
"How do you expect me to calm down, Evans?" I exclaimed, my voice tight. "Do you even understand how I’m feeling right now? You just showed me a room full of shackles!"
His expression shifted, all traces of playfulness falling away as something calm and serious settled over his features. "Nan, breathe," he said quietly. "You need to understand something clearly." He leaned in just enough for his words to land without force. "I will never touch you without your explicit, enthusiastic permission." He stressed the word ’never,’ slow and deliberate, as if he wanted it carved into my bones.
He leaned in even closer, his eyes steady and sincere. "And the most important thing, Nantam... if you and I are not becoming something real, I won’t touch you at all. I need you to understand that. With you, I’m serious. I’m not chasing sex. I could get that anywhere. What I want with you is more... much more."
He paused, letting the weight of his commitment settle between us. "Because the moment I sleep with you, I want to believe we are going to be a thing."
He then hardened his gaze, making the situation a true ultimatum. "So, I’ll ask you, Nantam, is there a chance for us? Or is all you want from me just sex?"
I looked at him, silent. In my mind, I knew I hadn’t decided on a full relationship; I had only intended to try sex with him to see what the fuss was about. But seeing this room, seeing the dedication to dominance and restraint, I didn’t think I could go through with it.
I looked at him, silent. In my mind, I knew I hadn’t decided on a full relationship; I had only intended to try sex with him to see what the fuss was about. But seeing this room, seeing the dedication to dominance and restraint, I didn’t think I could go through with it.
Before I could answer, Evans spoke again, his voice dropping slightly. "I will be thirty-two soon, Nantam. I’m done with just having sex buddies without having someone serious with me. You have seen my darkest side now, and you know what I need. I believe you’ve made your choice."
He laid out the final terms. "So, are you willing to try a real relationship with me, with the hope of a future? Or is all you want purely about sex?"
I said nothing, my silence echoing my profound indecision.
He understood immediately. "If it’s just about sex, I know you wouldn’t want this," he said, gesturing toward the room. "And you might not have your answer yet."
He stepped past me and pushed the hidden doors wide open, revealing the main room again. "If you came here without planning for us to be more," he said calmly, "or if you’re only here for casual sex, this is how I have sex." His eyes locked onto mine, unwavering. "You’re free to leave now."
He paused, voice dropping lower.
"But if you choose to stay... understand that we’re becoming something real. And everything you see here—" he gestured to the room "—is what I will use on you."
"You can leave, Nantam."
I stood there for what felt like forever, frozen, staring past him into the safety of the main suite. My entire body trembled. Every instinct I had screamed at me to run.
So I did.
I bolted out of the playroom, out of the hidden doorway, out into the main room, heart pounding, breath shaking. I reached the exit, my hand already gripping the door handle, ready to flee and never look back.
But then it hit me.
Like a punch to the chest.
I love him.
The realization stopped me cold. I couldn’t pretend anymore. Even if I wasn’t fully ready for a relationship right this second, I knew I could grow into it, I knew I wanted to. But why did the way he liked to have sex have to be... this? Why did it have to terrify me?
I was scared, shaking, overwhelmed but the pull toward him was undeniable.
I wasn’t running because I didn’t want him.
I was running because this would be my first real experience, and I was terrified. Those playthings, the ropes, the cuffs, the entire setup, overwhelmed me. I wasn’t running from him... I was running from the fear of something I had never known before.
I turned back inside the dim room, and I saw him still standing there, waiting patiently.
"I am willing to try," I said, my voice barely a whisper.
Evans’s eyes widened. "You are willing to have sex with me, with all this equipment in this room?"
I stared at him, then back at the specialized studio he created. I nodded slowly. "Yes."
His face softened into a gentle, hopeful smile. "Saying yes now... it’s like giving me a promise, Nan," he said quietly. "A promise that you’re willing to try something real with me, not just use me for sex."
He took a small breath, steadying the weight of his own vulnerability.
"You don’t have to say we’re officially dating," he continued, "but your yes means there’s hope. That we’re becoming something. That this won’t just be two people sleeping together with no future. Not just... sex buddies."
I nodded again. "Yes."
He smiled, a genuine, relieved, beautiful smile. He walked closer, his eyes fixed on mine, and gently took hold of my waist. "Then tell me honestly, Nan... have you ever been touched before?"
"No," I admitted softly. "I’ve never been touched... not by anyone."
"Are you scared?"
I answered immediately, trying to sound brave. "No, I’m not." But my voice was shaking, betraying my deep nervousness.
"So... you’re willing to try and use my toys with me?" he asked gently.
I nodded, though my heart was pounding. Then, slowly I asked the question that had been clawing at my chest, the fear slipping into my voice.
"Does it... hurt?"
Evans was silent for a moment. He tilted his head. "It hurts a lot," he answered honestly.
I looked at him, absorbing the truth. I closed my eyes, took a final, deep breath, and opened them with a firm resolve. "Let’s do it."
Without waiting for courage to disappear, I reached down and began unbuttoning my shirt, one button at a time, my hands trembling—but moving.
Evans watched me, his expression shifting into something dark, reverent... and achingly gentle.
Then he gently helped me, his fingers brushing mine, sending jolts of panic and excitement through me. I was so nervous I could hear my heart beating fast, a loud drumming in my ears.
My shirt came off, leaving me only in my trousers. Evans’s kiss found me, deep and hot. We kissed for several minutes, his tongue exploring mine, the intimacy intense.
He moved to open my trousers, drawing them down slowly. I was now naked, while he was still fully clothed. I felt shy and vulnerable, yet utterly consumed by him. 𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖
He moved the kiss to my neck. I felt a sudden rush of heat and my dick hardened immediately against his leg.
He slowly undressed himself. Now we were both naked. He kissed me again, a soft, reassuring press of lips.
"Are you ready?" he asked.
I nodded yes.
He scooped me up in his arms.
