[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice-Chapter 253: The Poison Beneath the Smile

~Nicki’s POV~

When I finally figured out that Zayn was the man Evric was dating, I knew it was truly over for me. There was no conceivable way anyone would willingly let go of someone like Zayn. He’s everything—kindness, humor, light. I gave up on Evric right then, even though it hurt and stung deeply. But I understood exactly why Evric fell so hard.

Just saying his name brings a smile to my face. Zayn is, genuinely, one of the purest, kindest-hearted humans I’ve ever known. The truth is, I never hated him. I was honestly jealous of him, though, jealous of how he was loved so effortlessly, how he possessed everything it takes to be cherished without even trying.

Zayn and I used to be close when we were younger. He always had a big-brother vibe, bringing me gifts and food. I genuinely adored him, seeing him as a cool older friend. But everything changed when my brother, Nantam, fell in love with him. Zayn never returned those feelings, but he treated everyone, including Nantam, equally. That wasn’t enough for my brother. Nantam grew intensely jealous of the attention Zayn gave me, feeling like Zayn focused more on me whenever he came around. He demanded I distance myself from Zayn. We fought about it, but Nantam is family, and I reluctantly agreed to put distance between us.

The sudden coldness made Zayn think I hated him. When he finally pressed me on why I was avoiding him, I couldn’t tell him the truth about Nantam’s possessiveness. So, with no other excuse, I just lied. I told him I hated him because he was better looking than me. That awful, flimsy lie was the beginning of the distance between us.

After the rift, Zayn naturally started spending more time with Nantam, which my brother completely misread as romantic interest. When they got to university, Nantam confessed his feelings. Zayn instantly rejected him, making it very clear he only saw Nantam as a close friend. Crucially, Zayn stated plainly he was into women, telling Nantam he was not gay and would never fall in love with a man.

Despite the rejection, Dean joined their circle, and Dean, Zayn, and Nantam became close friends. Nantam hated the idea of a third person, but he accepted Dean because he realized Dean was just a cool friend who wasn’t a problem.

For four years, Nantam chased, and Zayn consistently repeated that he wasn’t interested. But right before university ended, when Nantam refused to give up, Zayn made a conditional promise, perhaps joking or just trying to offer closure: If he ever decided to date a man, it would only be Nantam.

Zayn might have made the promise lightly, but to Nantam, that promise meant everything. He believed in it. He trusted that promise close to his heart.

After they reconnected years later, Nantam discovered that Zayn was dating Evric shortly before his birthday. Still, he kept quiet, clinging to the hope that their old promise still meant something, especially since the relationship was being kept private. But when Zayn publicly announced his relationship with Evric on his birthday, everything unraveled.

In Nantam’s mind, Zayn hadn’t just moved on; he had committed the ultimate transgression. He had betrayed the sacred promise, choosing a stranger—Evric—over the person who had waited and loved him for years. That public announcement was the moment everything truly fell apart for Nantam.

The depths of my brother’s jealousy and darkness are terrifying, and I only started to truly grasp it after Zayn nearly died on his birthday.

I knew absolutely nothing about the shellfish until it happened. Suddenly, Zayn was collapsing, struggling to breathe, and we were rushing him to the hospital.

Evric looked at me. Because I was his ex, and because of my old, pathetic lie about hating Zayn for his looks, the finger of blame was pointed straight at me.

But standing there in that sterile hospital room, watching Nantam’s unnervingly calm expression while Zayn fought for his life, I knew. It wasn’t me. It had to be Nantam. He knew Zayn was severely allergic to shellfish, yet he was the only one who didn’t seem panicked. I’d always known his darkness wasn’t something that forgave easily, and the way he so casually claimed to have "forgiven" Zayn for keeping his relationship private only confirmed my fears. I knew I couldn’t let Nantam face the consequences. I was too afraid of what he might do to me if he was backed into a corner.

So, I took the blame.

The moment we got back home that night, the door hadn’t even fully closed when I spun on my brother, my heart pounding against my ribs.

"Nantam, did you? Did you put shellfish inside Zayn’s food?"

Nantam didn’t even flinch. He walked into the living room, tossing his keys onto the table. "Since you know it, why bother asking questions?"

I clapped my hand over my mouth, the air catching in my throat. My vision blurred with tears. "You are wicked, Nantam! You knew clearly that Zayn is allergic to shellfish, yet you put it in his food! You could have killed him, you know that!"

He acted as if I was overreacting to a misplaced sock. "Good thing he didn’t die yet, then," he replied casually, turning to me. "Don’t make this a big deal, Nicki." He then added, almost as an afterthought, "I apologize to you for punching you earlier, even though I know you did nothing wrong."

I was in absolute disbelief. I couldn’t stop myself from lashing out. The dam finally broke. I yelled every bad name I could think of. "You are a bad friend! You are cruel! Zayn was only ever kind to you! How could you hurt him like that?"

Nantam’s eyes narrowed, the casual facade slipping away, replaced by cold fury. "You’d better get your emotions under control, Nicki. If even a fraction of the truth comes out, I’ll make you regret ever having me as a brother."

Tears streamed down my face. I looked at him, truly seeing the monster he had become. "Just because he didn’t choose you? Just because he chose someone else? And you go this extreme to hurt him?"

Nantam screamed back, the anger finally unleashed. "He betrayed me! He made a promise! And I am going to deal with him!" He began to list his evil, escalating plans for Zayn, details of manipulation and revenge so dark I couldn’t bear to listen. I covered my ears, shaking my head violently.

When I finally pulled my hands away, I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Nantam, you are evil!"