[BL] CRAVING HIM: Addicted to His Voice-Chapter 239: When Desire Begs for Permission
~Zayn’s POV~
I woke up slowly, the first light of dawn filtering in, but I didn’t open my eyes. The heavy, warm weight of Evric was still draped across me, his leg tangled with mine. The deep sleep had worn off, and the physical awareness returned instantly. I felt the unmistakable pressure of his morning erection—a hard, hopeful sign of life and desire.
I sensed him stirring and quickly tensed, pretending to sleep. I wanted to watch how he would behave now that he was physically at ease again.
Evric stirred, and a moment later, I felt his lips brush my ear. "Good morning, baby," he whispered, his voice low and drowsy.
He didn’t move much, content just to feel me there. He started tracing patterns in my hair with his fingers, a gentle, soothing rhythm. Then his hand moved to my face, his thumb running lightly along my jaw, checking if I was awake without daring to interrupt my rest. His touch was so familiar, so loving, it almost made me flinch.
Finally, he moved to my mouth. He played with my lips for a while, a soft, teasing touch, before pressing a soft, lingering kiss to my mouth. It was just an exhale of affection, but it was enough. All the dammed-up, month-long tension in his body reacted instantly, demanding more. His soft kiss turned searching, yearning, desperate to deepen and take.
That’s when I opened my eyes.
I stared straight into his. The sudden, cold shock of my gaze was immediate. Evric froze instantly, every muscle in his body seizing up. He pulled back, his eyes widening in shame. He gently shifted away, instinctively covering the front of his pajamas with his hand.
"I’m sorry," he whispered, his voice thick with guilt. "I’m so sorry, Zayn. I shouldn’t have touched you without asking first."
That apology, having to ask for the intimacy we once shared, made him seem so small, and it wounded me deeper than I cared to admit.
I threw off the blanket, my body already hardening in response to his proximity. I stood up and dressed in silence. I turned to face him, my expression neutral.
"Take your medication at 9 a.m.," I instructed, my voice flat. "Then eat the breakfast the maid will prepare for you. I want you to sleep and eat, do it for yourself and for the people who care about you."
I walked toward the door, my hand resting on the cold brass knob.
"Wait, Zayn."
I froze but didn’t turn around. "For what?" I asked.
"Babe... please," he pleaded, his voice tight with desperation. "Give me one hour before you leave."
I finally turned my head to look at him. His eyes were wide, pleading, and his body trembled with need. "One hour... for what?" I asked cautiously.
"One hour to feel you, babe," he gasped, urgency cracking his voice. "Just holding you, rubbing against you... touching you, frotting, feeling close. Just let me release on you. It’s been over a month, Zayn... please."
I chuckled softly but said nothing.
Then he pleaded, his voice desperate. "I promise I won’t... penetrate. I just want to touch you, feel you, and release. Just one hour... please, babe."
I looked at his naked need, the raw, beautiful appeal of his body, and the memory of Nicki flashed in my mind.
"I couldn’t face him and say no. I didn’t want to reject him... but I couldn’t accept him either. Instead, I told him, ’I have something more important to do.’"
I opened the door. His voice cracked after me, desperate and raw. "Watch me... watch me masturbate, if you won’t let me touch you, Zayn! It hurts me, please."
I said nothing. I simply walked away, leaving behind the sound of his agonizing silence.
I knew how much that denial would hurt him, but sometimes, Evric could only learn through pain. He needed to understand that sex was not an entitlement and could not be used as a distraction or a shield.
I reached the bottom of the main staircase, halfway to the living room, when my phone vibrated with an incoming text. It was from Evric:
EVRIC: Come back upstairs, please.
The words weren’t cold or commanding this time, they felt different. There was a quiet softness behind them, like he was asking instead of telling. It wasn’t the voice of a man trying to control me, but of someone reaching out, trying to make things right.
I hesitated. I didn’t want to go back. But something in that message, its quiet tone, its unexpected sincerity, made me pause.
Then came that old, instinctive pull I’d learned from my mother: "A partner should listen to the one who leads, that’s how love stays balanced." Maybe that old-fashioned belief was why I ended up with Evric in the first place.
Either way, I told myself I had no choice. Maybe this was the moment to see if my distance from him was actually working.
I turned around and climbed the stairs, expecting to find the old, loud, demanding Evric: clothes scattered, frustration visible, ready to bulldoze me into submission.
But to my surprise, Evric was standing by the bed, completely calm. He wasn’t crying, but the raw, pleading look in his eyes was more effective than any tantrum. He walked toward me, still dressed in his silk pajamas, his hands open.
"I know I don’t deserve it," he began, his voice soft, trembling with controlled emotion. "And I was wrong to ask you that way, wrong to try and manipulate you with my sickness."
He paused, gathering himself. "But I’m so horny, Zayn. And masturbation won’t satisfy me. Not until I feel your touch. I need you to be the one to do this."
He didn’t move to force me. He just stood there, completely vulnerable. "I’m pleading with you," he said softly. "If you don’t allow it, I’ll understand. You can leave right now, and I won’t stop you. But please, just consider me. I won’t go inside you, I promise. Just a few touches. I’ll be quick, and once I cum, you can leave. Please... just let me have this."
I looked at him, searching for the lie, the manipulation, but found only raw, hopeless need. My body was reacting, of course, his erection was clearly defined beneath the thin silk.
I looked at him for a long, painful moment and said, "I’m sorry, Evric. I will take my leave."
I turned, thinking he would collapse or yell, thinking his need would finally explode into fury, but he didn’t. I heard him step back and walk quietly toward the bed. I opened the door and took one step out into the hallway.
I waited, listening. Nothing. No slamming of furniture, no sobs, no desperate pleas. He simply complied, retreating to his corner. He was finally accepting the boundary.
I stepped back inside and quietly closed the door behind me. Evric lay on his side, his back turned toward me, his silence louder than any outburst could ever be.
"Evric," I called him, my voice low, my tone now merely resigned.
He didn’t move at first.
"If you won’t turn, maybe I should leave," I warned, taking a calculated step toward the door.
That broke his stillness. He slowly turned over, his eyes red but finally shining with a spark of desperate hope.
I gave a curt nod. "You can have your way."
He raised his head slightly, his gaze darting from my face to the door, needing absolute confirmation that this wasn’t another cruel trick.
I nodded again. "Yes, I agreed. You could have your way."
Slowly, carefully, he stood up and walked toward me. He reached me and did something unexpected: he stopped and simply whispered, "Thank you, babe."
Then he leaned in and gently touched my lips, his entire body trembling like someone who had been starved of touch for years. I didn’t share his high sex drive, but the tremor running through him made the depth of his need brutally clear, he was desperate for me.
As we stood there, fully clothed, our hips brushed accidentally. The moment our bodies touched, Evric closed his eyes, a low, guttural moan escaping his throat.
"God, I missed this feeling," he confessed, his voice thick with tears that were thankfully silent this time. The raw urgency of his need, moaning, eyes closed, simply from the contact, made me realize another side of him I hadn’t seen before: a desperate kind of love that lived in his body more than his words."
He opened his eyes and looked at me, a silent, pleading question: May I kiss you properly now?
Before he could ask, I closed the distance and kissed him first.
