Beginning with the Ubume Bird-Chapter 543 - 39: The Blood-Red Hotel

The innkeeper was an exceptionally obese old woman, somewhat surprisingly, with two heads, one of which was held high with golden hair tied up, deep set eyes, and a pair of blue irises filled with wariness. The other head had its eyes closed, hair disheveled, emitting soft snores.

Jane stared at the two distinct heads on her neck, somewhat curious. But she quickly realized that this was extremely impolite behavior. She reined in her gaze and made a polite greeting to the other party.

"Good afternoon, ma’am, my friends and I would like to stay here for one night and will leave early tomorrow morning,"

The proprietor stared at Jane for quite a while, until Jane started to feel uneasy, before she indifferently responded, "Sorry, we are fully booked. Please find somewhere else to stay."

"Uh..."

Jane looked around the deserted inn, saw dust on the tables and cobwebs in the corners. It didn’t look like it was bustling with business to the point of being full.

"We are willing to pay extra for our stay. Could you make an exception? It seems quite difficult to find available rooms nearby."

Jane had no choice but to try and persuade the quirky innkeeper.

"I’m really sorry, my dear, we’re not doing business tonight."

The innkeeper flatly refused.

That’s when Li Yan came in, carrying a disassembled case of "unicorn" personal gear, "I say, your grace, uh, Jane, how many rooms shall we open?"

Li Yan changed his address under Jane’s glare.

Jane shot Li Yan an annoyed look, turned back to say something to the innkeeper, but noticed that she was staring intently at the case on Li Yan’s shoulder.

"Ma’am?"

Jane tentatively asked.

The innkeeper then retracted her gaze and inquired, "Are you adventurers?"

The case for storing a steam-powered individual warrior was an extremely specialized tool. Ordinary agricultural steam equipment wouldn’t come with one, only high-grade military combat gear did. It was an era where rangers were everywhere, often with destitute nobles liquidating their ancestral treasures to don a powerful suit of combat gear, aiming to attain wealth and fame through adventuring and slaying monsters, to restore their family’s lost glory.

This speculation by the innkeeper resonated well with the tone of the times.

"Uhm, more or less."

Jane’s response was noncommittal.

"My husband, when he was young, was also a ranger adventuring through various kingdoms in a steam-powered suit. He once ventured deep into the jungle alone to shoot a Giant Wolf,"

the innkeeper said with a smile.

"He must have been very brave back in his youth."

Jane quickly flattered.

"Unfortunately, he passed away from illness two years ago."

The innkeeper shrugged her shoulders, "It’s been a long time since I’ve felt charitable, but since you, like my husband, are adventurers. You can stay here for the night. It will be Five Marks for the stay."

"Thank you very much."

Jane was naturally overjoyed upon hearing this.

The innkeeper took out a bell from under the counter and shook it.

"Skinning! Skinning!"

In a bit, a sharp-featured, dark-skinned dwarf ran out from the backyard.

"Skinning, take the guests to their room, then tell Bone Picker to heat up some water."

The innkeeper concluded, then explained to Jane and Li Yan, "That’s one of my employees, called Skinning. There’s also a chef, an old man named Bone Picker."

"Oh, what strange names."

Jane echoed with a peculiar expression on her face, "Ma’am, is it only the three of you in the inn?"

The innkeeper shook her head, "There’s also a Wandering Poet who tells Bible stories, but he offended the Lordship a long time ago, had his hands and feet chopped off. I feed him and he entertains the travelers with stories. It’s only Five Pennies for the whole night."

"That’s very unfortunate, I would love to hear his stories."

On the side, Li Yan and Skinning looked at each other for a long time, perhaps because Skinning saw that neither he nor Li Yan had white skin, he’d been staring fixedly at Li Yan since he entered, and Li Yan just calmly looked back at him until their conversation reached this point. It was then that Li Yan finally asked, "And what might the name of this Wandering Poet be?"

The innkeeper smiled in response, "His name is Minced Meat."

"How lovely."

Li Yan raised an eyebrow.

The dwarf "Skinning" bowed to Li Yan, wanting to take the disassembly case from his hand, but Li Yan declined, "No need, just lead the way."

Skinning had no choice but to agree.

The three of them walked upstairs, one after the other, with Skinning selecting a clean and tidy large room for Jane first. After Jane thanked "Skinning," she snatched the disassembled case from Li Yan’s hands and stepped into the room first. Li Yan tried to follow her, but ran into the metal box in Jane’s hand.

"Gentlemen, that’s as far as you go."

She said coldly. Then she slammed the door shut.

"..."

Li Yan sighed and then said to Skinning, "Please find me another room."

Skinning didn’t speak, made an "all right" gesture, and found Li Yan a slightly smaller room.

As the evening deepened, Skinning brought Li Yan and Jane hot water and dinner. Jane also dragged Li Yan to listen to Minced Meat’s Bible story. Li Yan recognized Minced Meat as the disabled narrator from the start of the show; his voice was still magnetic, but unfortunately, Li Yan fell asleep listening to it.

Not until late at night, when everyone was about to go to bed, did Jane suddenly asked Li Yan before returning to her room, "Do you still have the pistol I gave you?"

"I do."

Jane’s expression suddenly became serious, "Listen, Liang, there’s something off about this inn. You need to stay alert and protect yourself."

"I will, Your Highness."

Li Yan smiled at Jane.

————————————————

At twelve midnight, in the dead of silence, the landlady in her nightgown yawned and lay down on the velvet mattress, fast asleep.

Before long, her breathing evened out. The other head that had been sound asleep all day suddenly opened its eyes, its face contorted with malice.

She sat up and jingled the bell by her pillow.

"Skinning! Skinning!"

Skinning hopped over energetically.

The landlady asked coldly, "Has my sister found any new guests tonight?"

Skinning nodded, gesticulating wildly.

The landlady squinted, "First, go behead the man, then steal the woman’s steam exoskeleton. Do you hear me? I’m giving you one hour, do you hear me?"

Skinning bared his teeth in a grimace, nodded, and disappeared in a flash.

An hour went by, and the landlady waited anxiously in her room, but there was no response. Irritated, she picked up the bell and shook it again.

"Skinning! Skinning!"

No one answered.

The landlady grew angrier, shaking the bell harder.

"Bone Picker! Bone Picker!"

This time, a hunched old man came, gaunt and small, with a large tumor growing on his back.

"Skinning must be slacking off again, Bone Picker, you go and behead that man, then steal the woman’s steam exoskeleton, do you hear me? I’m giving you one hour as well!"

The old man nodded, drawing two knives stained with blackish blood from behind, and headed out darkly.

Another hour went by, and the clock struck two in the morning. The landlady paced back and forth in her room until she could bear it no longer and shook the bell for the third time.

"Skinning! Skinning!"

No one responded.

"Bone Picker! Bone Picker!"

Still, no one responded.

Out of temper, the landlady roared, "Minced Meat! Minced Meat!"

Finally, there was a response. A wheelchair rolled in slowly, with limbless Minced Meat coming inside, controlling the wheelchair with his tongue and teeth.

"What can I do for you, madam?"

"First, you go and behead the man!"

The landlady paused, thought for a while, and then changed her mind, "Go straight and chop off the woman’s head, then bring me her steam exoskeleton!"