Barbaric Spouse, Descry the Night's Lure-Chapter 238: Scene CCXXXVIII

“...”

“...”

Kelly whose steps moved to stand before the archduchess after closing the doors, remained quiet with lowered head, and she who lifted her head at no exchange traced the woman’s figure as she came to look at Ewelina, straightening herself as she inhaled, for the hands Kelly held in front of her skirt, tried to grasp each other to control their tremble.

“... Does Nu’s powers still make your insides ache?”

“...? Pardon?”

“...”

“Uh- uhm... N-no, it does not hurt as much...”

“So they still ache.”

“... Ma’am... I do not think they ache because of the child... it is probably my own doings- Uhm, better said... what I did not do before that causes ache...”

“You should drink some tea.”

“...”

“Of course not the same one you once offered me. I would not suggest such.” — Without drawing away her gaze from the ashamed Kelly, Ewelina watched the regret take form in the weary woman’s visage. Finally letting out some other sentences as she wanted to dismiss her mouth’s bitterness. — “To be saying this... it appears ironic. Do you not think so? While being unwell because of the deficiencies we endured while serving this household... you offered me that tea knowing its true purpose... for it was Cole that ordered it... Probably, he summoned you to this very room to order it... And you agreed.”

“... sniff...”

“Would you tell me... why is it that you agreed, although my head thinks it knows? You cry before me as I tell you this and even though wrath has filled me because of this low betrayal... even after all that has happened and this strong resentment I feel... I cannot offer you a tea that would sicken you irremediably.”

“..hic... sniff...”

“And somehow I do wish to offer one that will ease the pain, Kelly.”

“nh... Ma’am... sniff... I...”

“Don’t cry. I am tired of shedding and seeing tears being shed. What I want from you now is honesty, Kelly. Tell me the truth you did not tell me back then... I want every lie to be clarified... or I will not be able to accept this fate I am destined to face.”

Frowning so the hurt would not be indiscriminately showcased in her visage, Ewelina demanded Kelly to tell her truth... allowing finally the wish that had driven Kelly into chasing after Ewelina’s path.

*******

“... I am certain that asking forgiveness is not something I can do.” — Kelly said with a hardened expression as she finished telling the events that pushed her into betraying Ewelina. Trying not to cry as the Archduchess had demanded. — “Yet believe myself... giving the tea to you was always something I felt guilty about and is why I tried to act displeasing to you... so at least... so maybe with such attitude you would one day decline it as well as my company... I was foolish... yet that is what I could do so Cole would not take my job and life away and L- Dina would not tell otherwise to him... I truly... I truly apologise for what my cowardice caused in your life, Your Grace...”

“... Kelly.”

“... Y-Yes...?”

“Is there any wish within yourself... to become a mother one day?” — Tranquil, Ewelina asked after listening to her quietly, observing her with the pure brown of her eyes sincerely curious. Ultimately, provoking the woman to halt her breathing for she did not dare to respond... However, Ewelina was able to discern it, and she chuckled... softly... — “So you do wish for it too... haha, I am glad... being a mother must be truly a blessing, don’t you agree?”

“I-... I w-would not dare to have-... not after I...”

“Please don’t say that.” — Without forgetting the gentleness that her character essentially owned this time, not using the harshness rage and hatred instilled in her being, Ewelina told Kelly. Lowering her head to ponder properly on how to express her current beliefs. — “It may happen even if you do not want it... I did want it, yet... some things... some things apparently are simply not meant to be... It is different to every soul.”

“... M-Ma’am... I am sorry... sniff...” — Shrinking in herself Kelly cried as she saw Ewelina shed tears that flowed selfish once more, who quickly wiped them from her visage to convey herself to the once a friend.

“As you said, I cannot forgive everything. My soul is not pure enough for such... yet I... I can tell that... That... That you also suffered and were in danger while following their orders..... Perhaps, even if you had declined the order, another would have done it instead and your existence would have been disposed of... We do not know... Just as I don’t know if I can forgive you even as I understand this.”

“sniff...hic!... D-Do not forgive me... Forgiveness is not something I deserve milady... Ma’am...”

“... Solely time will say.” — Wiping the other tears that fell, Ewelina told her, sighing deeply as the emotions overwhelmed her. — “What I am certain is that I want to leave sadness behind... Life is cruel... Ironically, I know this so very well and yet... I somehow... even now I do not lose faith trying to feel otherwise...”

“...”

Staring at the Archduchess who needed to move so the feelings would not take over as easily, Kelly’s hues wavered to listen her hopes had not withered while taking in her hand the ring she knew once pertained to the Archduchess’ Father... as if experiencing the pain she must have felt to learn the truth. Aware that unlike the servant once thought, just like Ewelina did when realising who her spouse would be... that she held great love for the man, as every speck of her being softened while being close to the Archduke and now her brown glowed saddened to his recall.

“I want to leave sadness behind...”

“... I pray for that wish to come true... Although my prayers might not be respected... I desire it for Her Illustrious Grace...”

“I hope they will still be heard by the divine...”

“......”

“... So. How many children would you like to have? You appeared to have difficulty talking with Nu.”

“? Huh??... I- I have not thought about it...”

“At least two you should have... close in age so they are able to play together... growing as an only child was not very entertaining, haha...”

“... Uhm... M-Ma’am... why do you ask this to me...? I... Talking about this with you is...”

“I at least want to talk about it.” — With a sorry smile, she explained. — “You can have children, and I would like you to have many...”