Attention Sir, I Have Your Heart Handcuffed!-Chapter 444 - 320. The Buddha said: Ineffable (3:2).
The interrogation room quieted down, and he asked Yanqing for an hour. He wanted to be alone, to be still.
Between him and Da Sheng... perhaps they met too early.
They were children of family friends, playing together since childhood. Apart from their surnames, they were no different from their own siblings. He couldn’t recall how things started with Da Sheng; just that since he could remember at the age of two or three, he was already "growing up" in the Tang Family. They ate together, played together, and even slept in a pile of kids together at night. At that time, there was no sense of gender, and they even forgot whose family was whose, just feeling that all the children belonged to one family, and everyone was close and warm.
Boys mature later than girls, so when boys were still struggling with words, the girls were already verbally sparring with him in a variety of ways. He was also quite proud then, disliking girls who were sharp-tongued, instinctively staying close to Big Sister-like Yan Sheng.
Yan Sheng was the eldest sister, always patient and gentle, helping them eat, drink, and play, and also soothing their various conflicts. Being amidst the children yet standing out, Yan Sheng was always such a gentle trap, so tranquil and graceful. He didn’t know if he admired her authoritative presence as the elder sister or was already captivated by her temperament, so he always sought her company, with or without reason.
Back then, they were really too young, too young to understand that such admiration and attachment would gradually ferment into something else in the future. They simply felt it was enough to quietly stay by her side; she loved quiet, so he didn’t speak much, just enjoying the peaceful companionship.
Later, Yan Jian was born.
She was the youngest girl in the Tang Family, born like a cute jade-sculpted doll, naturally cherished by the entire family. Even Yanqing, with his slight cleanliness obsession, would change diapers for this little sister without a fuss even if he got peed on.
At that time, Yan Sheng was even more like a little mother, taking on the responsibility of helping to care. While watching the younger siblings play, Yan Jian was always in her arms.
Yan Jian was naturally smart and lively, already articulate and eloquent at just over a year old. The little girl was smart, knowing not to spar verbally with Yan Xi and Yanqing. First, Yan Xi’s natural lawyer tongue, although not much, would make a person hit the south wall with a single surprise line, which the little girl couldn’t handle; Yanqing, even if not verbally sparring, could retaliate in a sneaky way, so Yan Jian targeted him.
So later, it became a situation where either Da Sheng was holding Yan Jian, or he was. Back then, playing house was popular, and Yanqing started calling Da Sheng "Little Mom" and him "Little Dad," since they were both taking care of Yan Jian; but from another angle, it also spoke to the closeness of their relationship. So he wasn’t annoyed at all, but instead delighted.
When Yan Jian was five or six, Yan Sheng was in high school, her studies were getting intense, so Yan Jian clung to only him. Yan Jian was adorable at that time, often affectionately pressing her nose against his face, sweetly saying, "Little Sound, I really like you."
Using the common words of kindergarten kids, she had said, "Shall I be your bride?"
The words of kindergarten children were taken as a joke. He laughed it off, never taking it to heart. How could he have known that the little girl meant it sincerely?
What he also didn’t expect was that Da Sheng was already mature enough to foresee a future love triangle issue, so she started keeping her distance, trying not to leave him alone with her.
Later, he, Yan Xi, and Yanqing all grew up and went to middle school, visiting the Tang Family less frequently. But sometimes, on the soccer field, he’d suddenly stop, filled with melancholy, looking up at that vast blue sky, wondering how many days it had been since he last called Yan Sheng.
He wished he could call every day, even if she didn’t speak, just hearing her silent smile on the other end would bring him peace.
But he knew her temperament, and before hanging up would always have an elder-sisterly reminder for him to focus on his studies and not to carry his phone to school every day... So he didn’t dare to call every day, always counting on his fingers, waiting three days before he could make a call.
Later, Da Sheng went to college. She headed to the East Coast.
The night she registered, he was so filled with longing that he couldn’t sleep all night. It was because Yan Yu and Yan Jian had said that Big Sister didn’t date throughout high school; she was waiting until college, and now they could finally expect Big Sister to bring a boyfriend back.
After hesitating for a long time, he finally dialed Da Sheng’s phone, stammering and saying many unrelated things, until Da Sheng was almost laughing out loud, asking him what he really wanted to say. He stuttered severely before asking what kind of boys Yan Sheng liked.
Da Sheng seemed shy or evasive, only saying after a long while, "...You’re still young, it’s too early to talk about this."
He felt frustrated. He’s younger than her, not of his own will! But that was an unchangeable fact, and every time he thought about it, he wanted to hit a wall.
Her personality was serene and detached, yet she was incredibly strong and independent, he knew this. Compared to her, he and Yanqing were rowdy, mischievous, sometimes impulsive. To her, he might always be just a little brother, never mature and responsible like a man, right?
Thinking like this, his limitless ambitions turned to ashes, asking himself: How could Luo Xiansheng possibly like you?
Perhaps someone more mature and serene than her, someone who could give her a sense of security and keep her heart calm forever, would be a good match for her—like Huangfu Huazhang appeared later.
So that night, he didn’t dare to say those words.
He sat outside that night, first feeling heartbroken, then gradually calming down. He thought since he couldn’t control his physical age, he’d let his mind mature faster. When she noticed he had matured and could look him in the eye or even admire him, he could speak.
Thus, from that night, he began to study diligently. He won scholarship after scholarship on campus, then started his own business, ventured into network investments, founded the Starry Sky Network, and later the Starry Sky Entertainment Empire.
He waited, waiting for himself to become a bit more successful, a bit more mature, ultimately closing the gap with her, transforming in her eyes from a brother to a man, then he could speak.
But many things in this world are like this: once the opportunity to speak is missed, a series of unexpected obstacles occurs afterward, making it difficult to find such an opportunity again.
He forgot, he was growing, and Yan Jian was growing too. And Yan Jian, being a girl, found it easier to confide in Big Sister. So, Yan Jian, just entering middle school, had begun talking about him with Big Sister, expressing her vague yet firm love for him.
He then realized that Yan Sheng’s attitude during their calls became colder and more distant. He didn’t know why, thinking perhaps she had gotten a boyfriend at college; or maybe... in her eyes, he hadn’t matured, becoming more childish instead?
He became even more afraid to "childishly" express himself impulsively.
Time wasted away this way; she started traveling during winter and summer breaks, seeking her roots in Asia, adventuring in Africa. Sometimes he couldn’t reach her by phone; maybe there was a signal, but she didn’t want to pick up.
After four years of college, even before she graduated, she had already decided her career path. She said along her travels, she had seen so many wounds, brilliant human civilizations being destroyed by war into ruins; she felt a responsibility. So, when he finally eagerly awaited her return after college, reality was that she spent even less time at home, pouring more time and energy into her career. Often, she left without knowing when, and her return was unknown, making him anxious about completely losing contact, knowing nothing about her wellbeing as a lone woman amidst war. 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆𝙬𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝒎
That despair devoured his heart, and his only reprieve was visiting the Tang Family whenever he had free time, hoping to get even a little news about her.
But later... Yanqing had an accident too; though he didn’t know what exactly happened, he shut himself into a lonely world, unable to even care about him. At the Tang Family, he was awkwardly left speaking with only Yan Yu and Yan Jian, otherwise, he’d stand clueless, while the elders were busy with work, surely revealing all his thoughts, wouldn’t he?
So even Yan Yu misunderstood that his frequent visits to the Tang Family were for Yan Jian.
Yan Jian was even happier, every time he came, dressing beautifully, showing all her emotions.
...He became even more deflated.
He ended up going for a TV production organized by his own company, joining a shark swim on the East Coast, swimming with sharks.
Also, his film production company produced content on Asia’s war zones, hoping to encounter her even by chance.
Her college years and later career experiences brought her closer to the idea of Zen, and he gradually grew fonder of her as well. She spoke words from the Buddhist scriptures, and he thought to himself: Buddha says: Speak not.
