Astral Flower-Chapter 536: Nan Hua’s Thoughts

*Warning: This Chapter contain depressive atmosphere and thoughts. It’s advised that children below 13 years old didn’t read the following the Chapter so as not to be affected by the wordings*

Feng Yu Hua fell into silence.

She could sense Nan Hua’s coldness that was permeated straight from her bones, rejecting everyone around her. It was clear that Nan Hua was not even trying to open up her heart.

Everything is nothing more than an act.

An act for them to blend in.

"Is your goal real?" Feng Yu Hua asked another question.

"Would you think it’s not?" Nan Hua asked back and made her way to her own bed.

Feng Yu Hua felt that it should be real. Or not, Nan Hua would not risk her own life to gather the four of them together. But she felt that there was something that was off and it was something that she couldn’t put words into it.

Watching Nan Hua walking away, Feng Yu Hua asked one last question, "Do you still have hope in your hearts?"

Nan Hua didn’t answer and went to her bed.

Feng Yu Hua stood there and pursed her lips. She lowered her head and no longer asked this question because she knew very well that there was no point in asking.

Because she herself didn’t know whether there was any hope in her heart at all. All kinds of hope and exaggerated wishes from the past had long been trampled over and over again, making them not even daring to even have any sparks left.

The fighting spirit was constantly being extinguished when it was lit up. If not for their own basic desire, it was estimated that many of them would never be willing to survive until this long.

Feng Yu Hua sighed and shook her head, pushing her thoughts away.

Swish!

Hearing the sound of Feng Yu Hua entered her bed, Nan Hua was staring at the ceiling above her.

She had expected this to happen.

Because she knew that her position in the organization was important and her movements would be monitored to a certain degree. The number of people who had seen Long Qian Xing chasing after her was numerous.

Now that a certain amount of time had passed, the mission was bound to be issued.

Nan Hua had no qualms about killing people.

For so many years, she didn’t have any thoughts about it. Because she knew very well that if she wanted to survive, it had to be exchanged with the lives of many other people.

Even if she knew that she had destroyed countless people’s lives, she still proceeded with this path.

Ever since she was 10 years old, she had already started doing mission.

All kind of inhuman and crazy missions were thrown to her, being told to finish no matter what happened.

Even if she was battered until she was half dead, she could not escape the organization in the slightest bit. Because when she recovered, all they asked her to do was to go up and continue to fight again and again.

If she refused even once, it meant her death.

The organization didn’t need a rebellious tool. What they wanted has always been an obedient tool who will abide to their words.

In the other sections, there were those who were raised to be loyal to the organization and was subjected to a different kind of training. But for her section, they were not allowed to have feelings, so they were ordered to be the one to cut off this feeling by themselves.

Become nothing more than tools incapable of having any emotion.

Whatever Nan Hua showed when she was playing the roles in her mission has always been nothing more than an act.

An act for her to do her mission.

The emotional part of herself had long been cut off and what she did was to imitate people, using the remaining bits of sympathy left in her body to mimic their reaction and also various other things.

For her, emotions had long been the same as various body functions that responded due to hormones.

She even learned how to control these organs through her emotions. Studying what their reaction would be for certain type of emotions so that it would appear normal to those who were inspecting her with machines and so on.

Life has never been like living.

Even death might have been a better relief for all of them.

In that case...

Why?

Why did she want to reject this mission so much?

Nan Hua looked at her light brain, her black obsidian eyes flickered. As she curled up her body under the blanket.

’That will start soon, so there’s no time for me to finish the mission either.’

That must be it.

Nan Hua silently convinced herself in her mind, not wanting to think too much about this thing anymore. Because she knew that if she had allowed herself to indulge, she might not be able to stop herself.

And it should never happen.

Because she knew very well that a person like her had no future.

All the while, her breathing and heart rate remained as normal as possible without any fluctuation whatsoever that could be detected by others.

...

The night passed by quietly.

Day by day, everything seemed to proceed as usual. Nothing seemed to be different. Feng Yu Hua no longer talked about the matter from last night and Nan Hua herself also would don’t mention about something like that.

They all acted as if nothin happened.

And Nan Hua was finding Long Qian Xing standing not far from her when she entered the Virtual World in the evening.

It was Friday and tomorrow they have a half day break because it was Saturday. At this time, Nan Hua would enter the Virtual World to practice her hand.

"Senior Long," Nan Hua greeted politely.

Even if she tried to avoid Long Qian Xing, she would still greet him with the same politeness as it should have been.