Antagonist Protection Service-Chapter 63: This Is Not Love

In Lucretia’s hands, there was a letter.

She faced away from me, hiding her face, but I could see her clutch it tightly in her grasp.

And, by honing my gaze on that paper, paying close attention to the pale, dainty hands that held it, a faint, ever-so-slight trembling was noticed.

Suppressing a sigh, I lowered my eyes, gently closing them soon after.

’I knew it...’

Silence dominated the atmosphere for a while, when eventually, a voice resounded from before me.

"...Enki."

It was short, only calling my name, and it was low, almost inaudible, the face of which avoided my direction entirely.

I had a feeling what she would ask, but I could only hear it out first.

"Yes?"

I opened my eyes only to gaze at the back of her head, which I couldn’t quite determine was trembling or not.

"Am I truly so undesirable?"

"..."

To my ears, it was a voice I could only describe as sorrowful.

Not knowing what to say, I could only swallow down various unsuitable words and phrases, lightly biting my lip as the mental cogs turned.

"That’s..."

"I do not understand... why is His Highness like this? Why does he act so disinterested in me? Is it truly not a fault that lies within myself...?"

As stated in the notebook that contained Lucretia’s schedule, she and the crown prince were to practise a specfici dance together this afternoon in preparation for the upcoming ball, her coming-of-age ceremony.

Because it wasn’t stated in the notebook, I wasn’t aware until I peeked the contents of the directive myself, but apparently the emperor was the one who wanted the two of them to practise their dancing arrangement together every week until the day of engagement.

So that they, or perhaps more likely the prince specifically, wouldn’t make a fool of himself when the time came to dance for real.

Maybe that was because even he knew about his son’s incompetence.

However, such an arrangement had now been cancelled. By none other than the prince himself. The emperor did also not seem to reject the cancellation. Why? Who knows. Perhaps they were crazy, and counting the days left before the empire’s collapse.

In the dispirited vortex of my mind, now tasked with soothing the aching heart of the Antagonist in front of me as well as everything else, I internally cursed the little prince.

That bastard, as well as the emperor for letting this decision pass without reason.

The Antagonist spoke her mind without restraint.

"Indeed... he’s always overlooked me. Immersing himself in other people and interests whilst believing that I would be the one to take care of all future royal duties. I thought that was a sign of me having earned his trust, but was that not the case after all...? Why does he act so disgusted with me? Have I committed some critical wrongdoing somewhere? Some mortal sin? I do not believe so, I truly do not. And yet, is he so infatuated with that barbaric, wretched, utterly contemptible girl that I have left his sight completely...? Even though, I have said he can take as many concubines as he desires, I compromised on that, even though, I am the one most capable of standing by his side, knowing that, does he still refuse to interact with me, even though I said I would be fine with it so long as I had the proper space to fulfill my duties, even though I compromised on that, is there really such a mental defection in his brain, or is it simply a flaw in my own? Am I being delusional, or is this truly..."

"Lucretia."

I stood in silence, patiently waiting for her to vent her heart out, but as she continued, I quickly began to realise things wouldn’t end so conveniently.

I raised my voice slightly to call her and she finally stopped.

With this, I had my chance to speak and calm whatever tempestuous storm was raging about in her heart, but I really wasn’t suited to this type of thing...

At least the Protagonist was a simple-minded girl, so all it took was some superficial words and a hug to cheer her up.

The Antagonist, however... this troublesome girl really was too caught up in her thoughts.

"There’s nothing wrong with you. This isn’t a fault that lies with you in the first place."

Not knowing what to say, I just spouted whatever came to mind. Even though it probably wouldn’t help much, I still held the hope it might serve some purpose.

"Enki. Do you get it? I fail to understand. It is something I just can’t, not for the life of me, comprehend, something I’ve never been able to comprehend for as long as I’ve lived, not even though it’s been a fact for all that time..."

"This is--"

"I knew his heart had already been swiped by her, I was fine with that, I had always been fine with that, I had understood that and I could compromise with that... Nevertheless, I didn’t expect..."

"Lu--"

"I did not know he could act so foolishly as to discard me entirely and focus solely on her, that wench...!"

Thud-!

Slamming her hands on the table before her―the letter torn into two clumps and crushed within each of her tightly clenched fists―an inky waterfall cascaded with the jerky movement of her downturned head.

The room around us was large; the quavering echoes of her raised voice and ripples of her aggressive action continued to bounce off the walls for a few moments, seemingly extending the length of the stark, sharp silence that followed.

"..."

"..."

Or rather, it would have been silent, other than the light, yet rough breaths I could faintly make out from behind her, and the further crumpling of ruined paper within her fists.

Somehow gathering my thoughts steadily in that tension-packed space, I stepped forward.

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And, with as gentle a force I could muster, I put a hand on her shoulder.

The voice that followed was also one I had forgotten I was capable of producing.