American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote-Chapter 54 - 49: If You Want to Eat, You Have to Snatch It From Someone Else’s Mouth
Li Wei said nothing.
"No matter what, middle-aged men tend to weigh every pro and con," he said, patting Li Wei’s shoulder. "I’m sure you’ll help your uncle with his debts after you make it big. I firmly believe that. But I can’t put all that weight on your shoulders. After all, I’m your elder. I told you I’d look out for you."
"Don’t worry, I’ve looked into it," he continued. "As long as we have enough evidence, we can negotiate with them. And if I succeed, my salary will quintuple instantly, and I’ll own over 250,000 US dollars worth of shares."
"Sounds great. But have you really thought this through?" Li Wei asked. "This isn’t a game."
"You think it’s that easy to make it big in the United States of America?" Don Quixote scoffed, his mind clearly made up. "This is how it works in America. If you want a piece of the pie, you have to snatch it from someone else’s hands. Only then can you climb up. If you don’t exploit others, you’ll be the one who gets exploited." 𝕗𝐫𝐞𝕖𝕨𝐞𝗯𝚗𝕠𝘃𝐞𝚕.𝐜𝗼𝚖
After he spoke, both he and Li Wei fell silent.
「A while later.」
Li Wei sighed. "Alright then. Tell me what you’re thinking so far. We can figure something out together."
"No need. You’re still a kid," Don Quixote said, shaking his head. "I don’t want to drag you into this. The Italians don’t involve family in their business. Even if I fail, they won’t come after you. Otherwise, they’d have a hard time explaining things to a jury, the ATF, and the FBI—"
"Don’t be stupid. You think I’m just going to stand by and watch you get yourself killed?" Li Wei held up a finger. "Besides, let’s be clear, I’m not saying I’m definitely getting involved. I just want to see if there’s anything I can do to help."
"Alright..." Don Quixote pulled himself together and took a deep breath. "Here’s what I was thinking..."
Don Quixote’s plan was simple. First, the Italian Mafia’s business was all illegal, so they definitely weren’t paying their taxes on time—
"Wait," Li Wei interjected. "How do you know they aren’t paying their taxes on time?"
"Because you wouldn’t believe who I saw while I was staking the place out," Don Quixote said. "I saw Leto! Leto the Miser! Then I did some digging, starting from that construction site where I used to haul bricks, and I found out they’re actually a company. And Leto was running a private casino on the construction site! Jose told me about it. He said it was a huge operation! That casino can hold at least a hundred people gambling at once!"
Li Wei nodded. "So if you can get your hands on their books, you’ll basically have all the proof you need for the illegal casino and the tax evasion?"
Don Quixote nodded and continued laying out his plan. As long as he could find a way to get the ledgers or pry out some other solid evidence, he could pull a major bluff.
"Once I have the evidence, I’ll send them an anonymous email, pretending to be a major capital group," Don Quixote explained. "Remember the news about the Russian Mafia attacking that construction site? They’re at war. I’ll tell them we had our eye on that building too, and that they’re messing with our plans. If they don’t back off, we’ll send the evidence to the Internal Revenue Service and the Russian Mafia."
"How do you know people in the Russian Mafia?" Li Wei asked. "Are your connections that wide?"
"I don’t," said Don Quixote. "But Leto and his crew have no way of knowing that."
"Okay, so let’s say they back off, creating a window of opportunity for you to swoop in," Li Wei continued. "What’s the next step?"
"Next, Susan and I will go to Delaware and register an asset management company," Don Quixote said confidently. "Delaware has the strongest corporate privacy protections in the entire United States of America. The Italians’ reach doesn’t extend that far. They won’t be able to trace it back to me."
"But you’ll have to show your face eventually, right?"
"I won’t. Susan has a friend who can find a trustworthy proxy lawyer to act on our behalf," Don Quixote said. "And we’ll even cooperate with them. We’ll offer them long-term contracts to handle construction waste removal, facade renovations, and so on, so they can still make some money. That should make them compromise in the short term. They’ll only have the spare energy to come after us after they’ve moved their casino’s ledgers and location, and after their war with the Russians is over."
"But that will be at least a year from now, probably more," Don Quixote said, his expression ecstatic. "By then, we’ll have already inflated the property’s valuation, mortgaged it for a huge pile of cash, and cashed out."
Li Wei thought it over carefully. It seemed Don Quixote had devised a thorough plan. From exploiting the friction between the Russians and the Italians to swooping in and snatching the prey from the Italians’ jaws, it all seemed sound.
But—
"Wait," said Li Wei. "The core of this whole thing is the ledgers, right? How are you planning to get them?"
"Not so fast," Don Quixote said after a moment’s thought. "I’m planning to contact Jose and see if he has a way to get inside and gather some intel. If it’s too dangerous, I guess I’ll just have to give up and find another opportunity."
"So for now, we just wait?"
"We wait. I need to talk to Jose first. I haven’t been able to get in touch with him recently."
"I have one last question," Li Wei asked. "I promise, it’s the last one."
"Go ahead," Don Quixote said, sitting up straight and looking at Li Wei seriously. "I’m listening."
"You said I’m hard as steel. Are you telling me you’re not?" Li Wei looked gravely at Don Quixote. "Can you still get it up?"
As soon as the words were out, Don Quixote flew into a rage out of embarrassment.
"Get out, get out, get out! When you’re my age, you’ll be the same way!" he bellowed. "You need to remember, it’s not *you* that’s hard, it’s your youth! Fuck! When you get to my age and you’re missing a ball, you’ll know what a rare feat it is just to take a piss without getting it on your shoes!"
"And another thing!" he added, as if suddenly remembering something. "I can still get it up!"
"Right, right," Li Wei said, stretching. "I get it. You should get some rest. I have to go to the stadium for training tomorrow morning."
Silence returned to the living room.
"That little brat..." Don Quixote glanced down and muttered to himself, ’Did he really figure it out?’
