American Adventure: My Uncle is Don Quixote-Chapter 43 - 40: A Man’s Flowering Period Only Lasts a Few Years
"Super beautiful?" Li Wei said with a smile. "More beautiful than my Sister Emma?"
"Cut it out with the sweet talk," Emma shot him a look. "I have no intention of cheating on my boyfriend."
The boutique was deserted right now. Lady Delores was out on business, leaving just him and Emma in the store.
The two of them were sitting in the break area behind the fitting rooms. It was a blind spot for the store’s security cameras and what Emma had dubbed their "gossip harbor."
"Here, we’ll split them," Emma said, bringing over three boxes of macarons and a bottle of champagne from the pantry. "Take this box home with you after your shift. I’m getting older, so I can’t eat too many these days."
"What’s that got to do with age?" Li Wei took a box, pulled out a lemon-yellow macaron, and popped it into his mouth. "Phew... that’s so sweet."
"I’m of Russian descent," Emma sighed. "If I’m not careful, I’m really going to blow up after I get married."
"Alright," Li Wei said, pushing his box back to Emma. "Then let’s get back to that gorgeous girl. What’s she like?"
"Features..." Emma thought for a moment. "Blonde, tall, blue eyes, very classy, and really lively."
"Oh, right!" The more she thought about it, the more excited she got, slapping Li Wei hard on the back. "She’s coming back tomorrow! She said she might buy a necklace!"
After the slap, Emma sucked in a breath and rubbed her reddened palm. "Are you wearing a bulletproof vest to work? Your body’s hard as a rock."
Li Wei then remembered he’d forgotten to deactivate his Knight’s Body. He mumbled something and changed the subject.
"Okay, I get it, but why are you so excited?" he asked casually. "What’s it got to do with me?"
The moment he said that, Emma put on an expression of pure exasperation, like someone lamenting why their own prize pig was too scared to root around in someone else’s cabbage patch.
"And with a face and body like yours," she said, poking Li Wei’s cheek. "You don’t want to go after some rich, beautiful young lady? You’re content to be stuck here as a sales clerk?"
"Let me tell you something else, secretly," she said, lowering her voice. "I saw her when she paid this morning. She swiped for 62,058.75 USD without even blinking, for a diamond-buckle Hermès Kelly bag in crocodile skin."
"Why’s it down to the exact cents?" Li Wei chuckled in disbelief. "They count it down to the last cent?"
"That includes tax," Emma said with a blink, then continued, "Just think about it. She buys Hermès like she’s buying groceries, without batting an eye. Plus, she’s gorgeous. If you could date her, you might even get to drive her Ferrari or something."
Hearing Emma, Li Wei’s mind instantly conjured an image of a spoiled rich brat—cruel, arrogant, and utterly domineering.
He shook his head. "Forget it. I can earn my own way. I don’t like relying on others."
For the rest of the time until his shift ended, Emma, with a pained expression, lectured Li Wei while eating macarons. She drilled into him that a man’s prime is only a few years long and he had to seize the opportunity, that after 25 he wouldn’t be able to live off a rich woman anymore, and so on.
Then, after she’d finished nearly two boxes of macarons, she blamed Li Wei for making her eat so much, complaining that she’d have to spend time working out again when she got home.
...
「Three hours later.」
Li Wei had served a total of zero customers, received 72 USD in after-tax pay, and was taking home a box of macarons worth 100 USD, plus the mostly full bottle of champagne. He clocked out of the boutique, completely satisfied.
By the time he’d eaten dinner and returned to Bei Ling Ridge, Don Quixote had also come home from Dyker Heights.
"Try these. I brought them back for you from the store," Li Wei said, pointing to the box on the table. "They cost 10 USD each."
"10 USD? Shit... I hate rich people," Don Quixote said, opening the box and tossing a macaron into his mouth. "Shit, this is delicious... Can you get some more tomorrow?"
Before Li Wei could even respond, he had already tossed a second and a third one into his mouth.
"We’ll see. These were only left over because a customer bought them but didn’t eat them," Li Wei said, watching Don Quixote’s cheeks bulge. "How can you guys stand things this sweet? I really don’t get what’s so good about them."
"What’s the big deal?" Don Quixote wiped his mouth. "Next time, I’ll introduce you to some American snacks. Then you’ll know."
Li Wei didn’t even have to think to know that these so-called "American snacks" would be another one of those calorie bombs so sweet a single bite could kill you—like marshmallows dipped in a chocolate sauce even sweeter than the filling of a Ferrero Rocher, then stuffed into your mouth by the handful.
The United States of America had its own unique conditions. The reason Don Quixote had stayed so thin before was partly because he did heavy manual labor every day, and partly because he occasionally had to sell blood to make ends meet.
Now, after less than two weeks, he was already visibly putting on some weight.
Li Wei waved his hand, firmly rejecting Don Quixote’s suggestion. He went back to his room on the second floor and continued studying Russian and memorizing the contents of his tactical manual.
Around 2 AM, Li Wei once again heard a rustling sound from downstairs.
When he got dressed and went downstairs, he found that Don Quixote was holding an iron pipe, which he had gotten from who-knows-where.
God knows where he got it.
"It has been too long, my friend!" Don Quixote’s tone was exceptionally cheerful. "Are you prepared to join me on this great expedition?"
"I am prepared, Sir Knight Don Quixote," Li Wei replied, then asked curiously, "But if I may be so bold as to ask—where did you acquire that greatsword you hold in your hand?"
"This is an heirloom blade I unearthed from the castle!" Don Quixote swung it excitedly, nearly smashing one of the lamps in the room. "What do you think? Is it not sharp? It is imbued with Magic! It can pierce the tough hides of the Witch’s minions."
"But wasn’t the Witch already vanquished?" Li Wei sighed and asked, "Has she made a comeback?"
"Correct, my friend," Don Quixote said, walking toward the door. "What we destroyed last time was not the Witch’s true form. Her real body is on the other side of the continent, a place that requires a long and arduous journey to reach."
Fearing that Don Quixote might accidentally break something or run into some unlucky passerby while sleepwalking, Li Wei quickly followed him out the door.
A breeze blew through Bei Ling Ridge at 2 AM, and the streetlights cast dim, lonely shadows.
The night wind carried a hint of chill, and the air was mixed with the familiar scent of the sea breeze.
Don Quixote gripped the iron pipe he’d found in the basement, held his head high, and marched forward. Li Wei followed at a steady pace behind him.
They walked on until they reached a street corner.
Directly under a streetlight, a red fire hydrant stood silently.
Due to age and disrepair, much of its red paint had peeled off, revealing a mottled base coat that looked somewhat eerie in the dim light.
"Careful!" Don Quixote whispered. "A border guard has appeared. It’s one of the Red Dwarves sent by the Witch."
Li Wei followed his gaze. To his eyes, it was just a fire hydrant with some peeling paint.
[You have received a quest: Advance]
[The Witch’s minion is constantly watching Sir Knight Don Quixote’s domain. You cannot advance without eliminating it.]
[Quest Reward: +0.1 Free Attribute Points]
"Let me deal with him!"
Don Quixote let out a low growl and was about to charge forward, swinging his ’greatsword’.
Li Wei’s heart leaped. If he really let him smash the fire hydrant, the homeowner’s association would be at their door the next day with an exorbitant bill.
"Let me!" Li Wei strode forward. "We need to conserve our strength for what lies ahead. This dwarf looks like an intelligent creature. Perhaps we can negotiate!"
"Negotiate?" Don Quixote froze, the iron pipe stopping mid-air.
"That’s right. We are Knights now, so he’s clearly no match for us," Li Wei spouted nonsense as he pulled the wrapper from the macaron he’d eaten out of his pocket and walked toward the fire hydrant. "Hell Red Dwarf, sign this contract, and we will spare your life."
Li Wei spoke in an extremely deep and menacing tone, simultaneously rubbing the lemon-scented wrapper against the fire hydrant’s nozzle to pretend he was delivering the contract.
He turned back and gave Don Quixote an "OK" sign.
Don Quixote squinted, staring intently at the fire hydrant.
"He knows what’s good for him," he said. "Let’s go. I hope he abides by the terms of the contract."
[Quest: Advance has been completed.]
[Reward: 0.1 Free Attribute Points have been distributed.]
Li Wei watched Don Quixote’s back, picked up the wrapper from the ground, and hurried to catch up.
After wandering around the neighborhood for a little while longer, Sir Knight Don Quixote’s adventure for the day concluded, and they returned home.
Li Wei looked at the 0.3 attribute points on his status panel, deciding to wait until the barbell and power rack he’d found time to order today arrived before allocating them.
As he was going to sleep that night, Li Wei once again thought about what Emma had said that afternoon.
’For even the lovely Emma to call her "super beautiful"...’ he thought, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep. ’I should probably go take a look tomorrow morning.’
