America 1982-Chapter 64 - 20

Dennis held a cigarette in his mouth and looked at the proud Catherine opposite him, "Miss Catherine, have you never told a lie?"

"Yes, my parents taught me from a young age not to lie, to tell them immediately about any mistakes, because lies only make things more complicated. I’ve tested it, found they were right, and so I never lied again."

"How did you test it? By telling them you didn’t sneak an ice cream but ended up in the emergency room because of it?" Dennis slowly moved closer to Catherine as he asked.

Catherine stared at Dennis with a mocking smile, "No, when I was eleven, I lied to my parents that a boy had forced a kiss on me; after that day, the boy never dared to appear within my sight again. Actually, the boy hadn’t forced a kiss on me, he had just run up to me and said I was dressed ugly. A pity, really, because I had a bit of a crush on him. So, do you still want to move closer?"

Dennis quickly distanced himself from Catherine, his voice dripping with self-mockery, "This is why I seldom date girls from private high schools. People always believe the lies of pretty, rich girls. So, what can I do for you, ma’am?"

"I need to call my father, then you convince him of the comedic nonsense Tommy the pauper has been spouting, and get him to contact Nick Kids’ Channel for me." Catherine picked up the telephone receiver and dialed a series of numbers, "Daddy, I’m having a great time at summer camp, of course, and I’ve encountered something very interesting, yes, so interesting that I... want Nick television channel to come interview everything happening here, Let me have my subordinate Dennis speak to you about it."

Catherine passed the receiver to Dennis, "You’d better convince my father to help contact Nick Kids’ Channel, or else you’ll experience my lies just like that boy did back then."

"Mr. Nann, you can call me Dennis, Chief of Police at Saint Vincent National Police, and your daughter’s loyal subordinate—the Defense Minister. The country here is like a primitive tribe, sir, we high schoolers are worshiped like gods by the natives here. Your daughter is now commanding the largest armed force in the country. I’m not joking, it’s true. Before we came, the country didn’t even have toilets," Dennis spoke into the receiver:

"So, Minister of Defense Catherine thinks it would be good to have Nick Kids’ Channel help document her summer camp experience. After all, I believe there hasn’t been news of a high school student attending a summer camp and casually running a country in the history of the United States. No, no, I really am the Defense Minister, and I’m truly the Chief of Police. I oversee seventeen police stations and solve countless cases daily. This country is avoiding genocide only because of our presence, these American high school students."

Catherine looked at Dennis with disdain as he boasted into the phone for several minutes before hanging up. He turned to Catherine, "Your dad says he can help contact the station, but the specific costs have to be paid by the summer camp. Don’t think just because his daughter is at camp, he’ll foot the bill."

"This country doesn’t have toilets?" Catherine’s eyes widened as she asked Dennis, "Without us, there would be genocide? What’s more embarrassing is that my father actually believed you."

Dennis smirked, "The rich around the world love to hear how miserable other people’s lives are. It’s only when others have it worse that they can feel happy, then they might feel a little pity. In Warwick, every time the council members would visit, Tommy, Pam, and I would make our lives sound pitiful. If you want a flush toilet, you have to tell people you don’t even know what a toilet is. That’s how they get interested in treating you like a monkey, giving you a flush toilet, and then laughing at you as you stand clueless in front of it. That’s the wisdom of Warwick’s poor, learned over many years; take note, sweetie."

"If you were really wise, you wouldn’t have remained poor for so long," Catherine retorted mercilessly after listening to Dennis’ self-satisfied explanation, "So, do you know what a toilet is?"

"Of course not, every time I needed to defecate, my father took me in front of city hall," replied Dennis.

...

The Nick Children’s Channel is located at One Astor Plaza in the Midtown Manhattan area of New York, a fifty-four-story office building surrounded by Broadway theaters, possibly boasting the highest density of artistic population in the world.

The people working in this building used to joke that spilling a cup of coffee out of the window by accident could scald at least seven Broadway musical actors.

At the moment, from the meeting room on the twelfth floor of the building, the channel director’s roars could be heard: "Four hundred and sixty thousand paying subscribers! Damn it, four hundred and sixty thousand paying subscribers! This is the perfect answer you lot give when helping the Disney Channel fend off the competition!"

Several producers of Nick Children’s Channel’s hit programs sat with their heads down in silence, allowing their boss to vent his rage with swear words and sarcasm.

The Disney Channel had begun test broadcasting six months ago and, from the moment it was established, was set to compete with the Nick Channel for the market.

Thus, to suppress Disney’s subscription numbers, the Nick Channel had been working hard over the past six months, but clearly, Disney was better prepared. With sixteen hours of programming a day, which better catered to the tastes of teens and young adults, Disney had managed to capture four hundred and sixty thousand subscribers in just half a year.

And the Nick Channel, established in 1979, had only reached 1.8 million subscribers and had just barely begun to make a profit. At this rate, in no more than two years, Disney would be able to completely devour them and spit them back out intact.

"The ’American Heritage’ program that Disney has come up with is a youth reality show-style variety that encompasses treasure hunting, historical excavation, and scenic wonders. It is both entertaining and historically profound. Not only have countless families subscribed to the Disney Channel for that show, but it has also received unanimous acclaim from various publications. Elton, it seems you have more to say about this program, as it was this show that turned your concurrent ’Are You Afraid of the Dark?’ to crap." The director looked at his own variety show producer, Elton, with an ugly expression:

"What were you thinking when you decided to introduce a horror mystery program to America’s large population of teenagers? Did you think their lives under parental control were not terrifying enough? What’s more fucking bizarre is that I was actually persuaded by you at the time and agreed to what now appears to be a completely idiotic request."

"Sir, I think..." Elton tried to speak up in his defense.

The director interrupted him, speaking coldly, "I don’t care what you think. What I’m telling you is, either come up quickly with a program that is deep enough, appealing enough, and truly capable of competing with Disney’s ’American Heritage,’ or write me a resignation letter so that I can save some money for headhunting fees to poach producers from Disney to work for me."

After speaking, the director turned and walked out of the meeting room. Elton exhaled, muttered a swear word under his breath, and walked back to his office. The assistant came over and said, "Boss, one of our previous clients called, saying that there’s a summer camp that wants to collaborate with us to promote their students."

"Don’t bother me. Let me think about how to write a resignation letter without swearing yet still filled with vitriol, Butch," Elton said irritably, leaning back in his chair, hands clasped behind his head, and legs propped up on the desk.

The assistant took the phone records he had made and insisted, "I think, Boss, before you write that resignation letter, you might want to take a look at the information I’ve recorded."