America 1982-Chapter 437 - 65: Pests and Righteous People_2

"So, you’ll have your bodyguard come in and beat me up as a favor to your father-in-law?" Herbert tossed two cigars in front of Tommy and Julian, asking with a laugh.

"Yes."

"No."

The one who said Yes was Julian, and the one who said No was Tommy.

Julian looked at Tommy, puzzled, "I thought our father-in-law-and-son-in-law rapport was already like telepathy, full of tacit understanding."

"What I mean is, Mr. Page is carrying at least four or five stun guns, he can give each of you one, then you two fine Phoenix Club members can have a fair duel right here while I, an outsider from the White Robe Society, cheer you on and act as the fair and impartial referee. I won’t play favorites, nor will I blow an unfair whistle. After all, whichever Phoenix Club member goes down, it’s a cause for celebration for the White Robe Society." Tommy took the cigar thrown to him, looked at his father-in-law Julian with a sincere and expectant face, and said.

After hearing Tommy’s words, Herbert leaned back in his chair, glanced at Julian, "This is the great son-in-law you picked out, huh? Buddy, which eye did you use to choose a boyfriend for your daughter? He’s really warm-hearted, but that’s normal, a lousy guy like you only deserves a screw-up like Tommy as a son-in-law."

"Julian is a good man." Hearing Herbert call his father-in-law a lousy guy, and knowing their relationship must be close enough, Tommy still conscientiously corrected him on the spot, as an upcoming son-in-law should.

Herbert took a sip of his wine, "Good man? No, he’s a lousy guy, don’t be deceived by the gentlemanly demeanor he’s showing right now. Julian, tell your dear son-in-law Tommy, are you a lousy guy? What did you do to me back then?"

"Nothing much, just some common pranks that teenage boys do," Julian said calmly.

He then tried to introduce the club’s signature dishes to his son-in-law Tommy, hoping to deflect the topic.

"Common pranks? You mean calling me the Shetland Sheepdog nickname throughout all four years of my undergraduate career is just a common prank?" Herbert clearly didn’t want the topic to end there. He took a few fierce puffs of his cigar, then turned his gaze towards Tommy:

"My freshman year, I got myself a beautiful girlfriend who also had an adorable Shetland Sheepdog. I was the first among our batch of freshmen to find a girlfriend at the university. Then your father-in-law, jealous of me, damn it, teamed up with a few other freshmen and pulled a stunt that drove my girlfriend away from me, and gave me a nickname that would forever stay on the Phoenix Club alumni roster, Shetland Sheepdog."

"I’m listening, sir." Tommy wore a very serious and solemn expression, and said earnestly, "Jealous of you, that’s a very serious accusation."

Julian gave Tommy a speechless look, waiting to hear the gossip, "Since when did you become so curious?"

"After my father-in-law showed the same curiosity in my private life," Tommy muttered softly.

Herbert, biting his cigar, leaned back in his chair reminiscing, his voice still filled with resentment that seemingly hadn’t lessened even after twenty-plus years:

"The tragedy happened thirty minutes before my first date with my girlfriend. She had already showered and dressed up in the lingerie she had carefully picked out, waiting in her dorm for me to share our dreams. Meanwhile, I strutted along the road towards the date, carrying two boxes of condoms. Damn it, when I was less than a hundred meters away from my girlfriend’s dorm, these ugly-faced, girlless bastards kidnapped me, pulled off my pants, and glued a fur product to my club, making it look like I had put on a fur-made condom."

"Wow." Tommy broke out in a grin, his face instantly shifting from serious and solemn to eagerly curious.

Herbert took a sip of his drink, trying to calm the urge to leap up and kill Julian, and continued, "Guess where those hairs came from? From my girlfriend’s adorable Shetland Sheepdog. These bastards kidnapped that poor dog before and shaved a bikini pattern on its fur. Get it? Imagine that scene, a Shetland Sheepdog wearing a bikini."

Tommy raised his glass with both hands, pressing it extremely low, signaling to his father-in-law, "I have newfound respect for you, father-in-law. Compared to you, the pranks I played on my SSD brothers in college were as harmless as child’s play."

His father-in-law really wasn’t anything decent; he had been too hasty before. Shaving off a brother’s girlfriend’s dog fur and thoughtfully preparing a fur condom for his own brother, could a normal person come up with such a thing?

If it were him, Tommy, coming up with this at Stanford to use on Jason, Tommy guaranteed that for thirty years, Stanford’s SSD would be passing around the campus legend of himself as Stanford’s best adult toy designer and Jason as Stanford’s best adult toy male model.

"Because of them, I broke two records in the Cornell University Phoenix Club: the fastest to get a girlfriend and the fastest to break up with one. To this day, I can’t forget the look on my cute girlfriend’s face when she saw that Shetland Sheepdog fur condom." With a look of not being able to bear the memory, Herbert ended his reminiscence: