After Rebirth, She Becomes the Revenge Queen-Chapter 122 - 121 I Can’t Withstand Every Blow

Pei Zhan stopped only when he reached outside the main hall.

The air smelled of incense candles, and a young monk keeping watch nearby gave a small cough.

Although the lights under the corridor were not bright, they were much brighter than the ruins above.

He sat on the steps, and a little monk under the corner of the door bent over to ask if there were any instructions. He waved his hand and silently observed his shadow on the ground.

Lonely.

Like in childhood, many years ago.

His mother gave birth to him prematurely. Initially, the elderly in the family said he wouldn’t survive, and his mother cried day and night. His father, afraid she would cry herself sick, hired three wet nurses to look after him.

The family acted with grave seriousness, and the wet nurses dared not be careless. His elder brother said he hadn’t walked on his own until he was three. Even as his brother, wanting to see him was not as simple as just meeting.

Even after he turned three, his father didn’t allow him to hop and jump. Every three days, a doctor was summoned to check his pulse for peace of mind.

At that time, Pei Zhan most envied how his big brother Pei Dan could be with whoever he wanted and visit whichever family he pleased. The people he met the most were the house servants, mostly dull and aged. Even those few lively ones knew only about matters within the walls of the General’s Mansion, unaware of how vast the outside sky was.

The first peer he became acquainted with was Liang Chen, yet Liang Chen was the same age as his elder brother Pei Dan, older by a considerable five years, not really a contemporary.

It must have been when he was three. By the time he was four or five, he noticed that Liang Chen had a little follower — an enormous, bright-eyed girl who loved wearing bright red clothes. She moved quickly and nimbly, like a flickering flame before his eyes.

Out of all the sons and daughters visiting their home, she was the most remarkable one. He had never encountered such a dazzling girl. No matter where or in what occasion she was, she was like a little sun, always the center of attention.

He thought she was Liang Chen’s younger sister and assumed, even if the Liang Family sister were a bit older than him, she would logically still be younger than Liang Chen, making them genuinely peers.

Later, whenever he saw her, Pei Zhan couldn’t help but approach. But before he could take out the candy prepared to befriend her, she tilted her head and asked his name, then unceremoniously demanded he pay his respects and addressed her as "Aunt"!

Pei Zhan had grown up among those stiff and old-fashioned people, knowing how dreary his life was. He wanted a lively and fiery little companion, not someone in front of whom he needed to behave cautiously and call "Aunt"!

Thus, Pei Zhan refused to recognize her as his aunt, no matter what.

How could he?

Recognizing her would mean she’d never be his little companion.

He adamantly didn’t want to be like Cheng Chili and the others, becoming her follower, forever trailing behind her.

He yearned to be as free-spirited as her, dress as sharply and commandingly, and become a typical young general.

He was desperate to get close to her.

Later, when Pei Dan and Liang Chen were together, he always insisted on going too. But each time, she insisted that he call her Aunt; if he refused, she wouldn’t include him in their play.

He could only watch from afar, sitting like this on the side, torn internally on whether to compromise as a nephew or stick to his principles.

However, even that period of indecision didn’t last long before she left for the Northwest.

Yet, it seemed she didn’t settle down in the Northwest either. Through the letters his father delivered and from the accounts passing between generals and guards, he learned she had become more formidable and had led a group of progeny in achieving several military accomplishments.

That little sun shone upon the frontier, her vibrant figure galloped through the boundless yellow sands, and in her hatred for evil, her heart bore the righteousness of family and nation.

When the tragic news of Liang Qin’s sacrifice reached the capital, Pei Zhan had just turned thirteen. That night, he stood for a long time at the Taiping Mansion stone stele at Liang Mansion’s entrance. At that time, Liang Jun had already been gone for two years, and now Liang Qin met misfortune. Though they were her brothers, their relationship was as close as father and daughter. Now that they’ve both gone, he wondered, how heartbroken must she be?

After returning, he pestered his father, who was recuperating in the capital, wanting to join the frontier military.

Liang Chen was in deep mourning, and he wanted to avenge her elder brother.

Both his father and mother refused, as just three months ago, his elder brother Pei Dan had already suffered a severe injury.

Although they had three sons and were tremendously resilient, as parents, they couldn’t bear taking this risk at that time.

He knelt and pleaded for most of the night.

Finally, his father agreed.

Halfway through his expedition, he happened to encounter her returning with the funeral procession.

That night, he secretly rushed thirty miles to reach the inn where she was staying.

He saw her figure after years apart, yet simultaneously witnessed Xu Yin accompanying her side.

It turned out she had never been lonely.

Only he was, alone.

He did not enter.

He thought he had steeled his heart, but a year later, on the battlefield when he encountered the enemy general who killed Liang Qin, he chased tirelessly for over a hundred miles with his spear, personally severing his head before he rested.

The news of her accident at Baihe Temple reached the Northwest when he was about to launch a surprise attack. On that day, usually decisive, he struggled twice to mount his horse.

In that battle, he captured two cities, but also nearly lost his life.

After recovering, he requested leave from Liang Chen, who now carried the commanding seal, and hurried overnight to Baihe Temple in the capital. He filled a container with incensed soil and returned to the Northwest, staying until the campaign concluded before returning.

During that return to the capital, everything and everyone silently conveyed to him — she had died, never to return.

But just recently, a woman with a temper and bearing remarkably like hers suddenly appeared!

She told him she had a deep connection with the Liang Family! She even said that in the world, souls can reincarnate after death! And this very night, she appeared on the ruins where that person had perished!

"The General seems deeply worried tonight."

A slow voice suddenly came from behind.

Pei Zhan stood up, turned to look at Cheng Kong, who was standing under the corridor unbeknownst to him: "Master, is there truly talk of reincarnation in the world? If one dies in body, can the soul still linger?"

Cheng Kong recited a dharma name and said, "The universe is vast, the Buddha’s sea is boundless, the world is full of wonders. The matter of one’s body dying while the soul remains, may or may not be; it should always be judged with equanimity."

Pei Zhan fell silent. After a while, he said, "But I still cannot believe that she can truly return. I’m afraid of being mistaken, afraid that after hoping, I’ll fall back into the abyss of despair.

"I am merely of flesh and bone, not able to withstand all kinds of blows."

Cheng Kong stepped down the stone steps, his gaze leveled with Pei Zhan: "If what is gained is what the heart desires, perpetual anxiety about gains and losses is of no help. This old monk firmly believes that a wise man like the General must already have made a decision in his heart."

Pei Zhan looked at the night sky in silence.

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