MATED TO FATHER, FATED TO SONS
Chapter 77: I WANT TO HAVE YOU
ROWAN
Her words broke every wall, every restriction I was trying to maintain came down crashing.
I stood up from where I had been leaning against the table and closed the distance between us before I could talk myself out of moving, stopping just short of touching her with maybe a foot of space that felt like miles.
"What do you mean by when you leave?" I demanded, and my voice came out harsher than I intended. "What did my father do?"
She dropped her gaze to the floor and I watched her fingers twist together harder. "It is not really about what he did."
"Then what is it about?" My hands curled into fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms. "Because I can talk to him. I know he and I don’t have the best relationship but it’s better than Ryker’s and he actually listens to me sometimes—"
I was already moving toward the door, already planning what I would say to make him change his mind about whatever decision he had made, already preparing arguments about pack stability and alliances and whatever else might convince him.
Amaris grabbed my hand and I stopped mid-stride.
Her touch brought me to a complete halt like she had thrown a wall up in front of me. I turned to face her and my entire focus narrowed to where her fingers wrapped around my wrist, small and warm and trembling slightly.
"He wants me to be his breeder," she whispered, her voice barely audible.
I stared at her confused because I thought that was common knowledge, thought everyone understood that was the arrangement my father had made when he purchased her from Stormshadow to produce an heir.
But I did not speak and she continued, her words coming faster now like she needed to get them out before she lost courage.
"He wants to artificially inseminate me." She stumbled over the words, her face flushing. "No sex. No actual mating. Just medical intervention like I am livestock."
A pang hit my chest as a flood of rage I had never felt flushed through me so sudden that I actually took a step back from the force of it.
"Why would he do that?" The question came out harshly but my fury was not directed at her, was aimed entirely at my father for treating her like this. "They only do that to slaves. You are an Alpha’s daughter, he has no right to humiliate you that way."
She started to pull her hand away and I grabbed it instead, holding on while our eyes locked and I tried to communicate everything I could not say out loud.
"I know it is humiliating," Amaris admitted quietly, her amber eyes searching my face. "But I am not sure I would want the appropriate way either, knowing how messed up our situation is."
I glanced at her bright eyes and my anger began to dissolve because she was right, because every option available to her was terrible, because she deserved so much better than what any of us were offering and there was nothing I could do to fix it without destroying everything else in the process.
My voice dropped lower as I pulled her closer, closing that last foot of distance until she was against my chest, her face tilted up to look at me while I looked down at her.
"I would rather have that than not have you here at all," I heard myself say.
Her breath caught audibly and I reached up to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear, my fingers lingering against the soft skin there, tracing the shell of her ear before sliding down to cup her jaw.
"Why would you say something like that Rowan?" she whispered.
"Because I mean it." The truth came easier than the lie would have, flowed out of me like water finally breaking through a dam.
"Even if he has you, even if you carry his heir, I would be okay with it. As long as I can still see you, still be near you, still have some part of you in my life."
"What use does it make?" she challenged, and there was pain in her voice that cut through me. "If I am here and just his? What good does that do either of us?"
The question was one I had no answer to because answering would mean admitting everything, would mean confessing that I did not want her to just be my father’s, that I wanted her to be mine too, that the mate bond was driving me slowly insane with need.
That I wanted to break every rule and promise I had ever made for the chance to claim her properly, to make her mine in every way that possible.
"Rowan," she prompted when I stayed silent too long.
"Amaris," I breathed her name like it was religion, my head tilting down to look at her properly.
We were so close now that I could feel the heat radiating off her body, count each individual eyelash, see the exact moment her pupils dilated. The pulse in her throat was visible, beating fast and erratic, and I wanted to press my mouth there and feel it against my lips.
"If I stay," she started carefully, her voice shaking slightly, "would you still want to reject me as your mate?"
The question caught me completely off guard because I had not let myself even consider that possibility, had been so focused on doing the right thing and maintaining my responsibilities that I never stopped to ask if I still wanted to reject her.
I pulled her even closer, my hand sliding from her jaw down to her waist and then lower until it stopped just above the curve of her ass. The thin fabric of her dress did nothing to hide how warm she was, how perfectly she fit against me like two puzzle pieces finally clicking into place.
"I wouldn’t," I admitted, the confession tearing out of me.
Her eyes widened and I watched emotions flicker across her face too quickly to name them all. "Why?"
The answer was simple and complicated and terrifying all at once.
"Because I want to have you," I confessed.
Before she could respond and tell me all the reasons that was impossible or wrong or would destroy us , I covered her mouth with mine.