Living Only For Myself: Make Those Who Hate Me Regret It
Chapter 359 - 358: "You’re So Sure I Have One?
"I woke up in a strange place and I was a little scared. When I saw you... I wanted to hug you."
Under his gaze, Xu Su felt unaccountably guilty. She finished her explanation meekly, but then, as if remembering something, she immediately puffed up her chest and accused him loudly, "And then you pushed me away! Was telling me you’d love me no matter when you saw me just something you said to make me happy?"
"I pushed you away?" Zhou Mochen scoffed. "And then what? Just spit it all out. What did the ’me’ in your dream do that’s had you so unsettled all day, so distressed?"
He put a heavy, biting emphasis on the word "me," as if he weren’t talking about himself at all.
"..." Xu Su felt another pang of guilt. She silently organized her thoughts, deciding to omit all the intimate details, and then haltingly recounted a simplified version of what happened in her dream.
Except for the two secrets he and Shen Chen had told her.
Zhou Mochen listened quietly the entire time, not interrupting. Only when she had finished did he look at her. "That’s it?"
"Mhm... that’s it..." Xu Su nodded. "After I fell asleep, the next time I woke up, I was in your arms."
Zhou Mochen asked, "Did he sleep with his clothes on?"
He was clearly still hung up on what she’d said that morning when she woke up...
Xu Su kept nodding. "That’s right. He said he was worried I’d be gone when he woke up, so he wanted to watch over me while I slept. But we didn’t do anything, so of course we were wearing clothes."
Zhou Mochen snorted. It was hard to tell if he believed her. He just lowered his gaze and thought for a moment before suddenly asking, "What was the name of the assistant who was with him?"
Xu Su’s heart skipped a beat, and alarm bells went off in her head. "...I don’t remember."
’In this life, I’ve never seen him with any assistants other than Huang Chao and Gu Yue. If this dream produced a third assistant’s name, and it turned out to be real... wouldn’t that just...’
"Is that so?" Zhou Mochen watched her, his expression unreadable. "Do you remember what Beijing looked like in your dream? Didn’t you want to know if the dream was real? Why don’t you describe it for me..."
Xu Su shook her head. "It’s all a blur. I can’t remember."
’Are you kidding me? I’ve never been to Beijing in this life. If I could actually describe it, my secret about being reborn would be out in the open.’
’Right now, the only way to determine if my dream was real is to ask Zhou Mochen and confirm if he made a gentleman’s agreement with his father when he was sixteen.’
’Other than that, there was only Shen Chen’s secret.’
’Those were the only two things I hadn’t known in either my past life or this one—things told to me personally by him and Shen Chen only in the dream.’
Her string of "I don’t know" answers made Zhou Mochen laugh in exasperation. "So this is the ’very real’ dream you were talking about? What exactly did you remember that made it feel so real?"
Xu Su put on an innocent expression. "Don’t take a dream so seriously. I’ve pretty much forgotten it all since waking up. I can’t remember the plot, and the names of the people in it are a blur."
"If that’s the case, why were you so affected by it?" Zhou Mochen reached out, wrapped an arm around her waist, and pulled her into his embrace. His voice was muffled and low. "Susu, I can’t shake the feeling that you’re hiding something from me."
"..." Xu Su was at a loss for words, biting her lip in a bind.
’Maybe... I should just come clean.’
’I really don’t want to lie to him.’
’But...’
"Um..." Xu Su hesitated, patting his back. "Can I ask you something?" 𝙛𝒓𝒆𝙚𝒘𝒆𝓫𝙣𝓸𝙫𝓮𝒍.𝒄𝒐𝓶
Zhou Mochen grunted in affirmation. "Go ahead."
Xu Su paused for a moment before tentatively asking, "Do you have any secrets that nobody else knows?"
With her head nestled in the crook of his arm, she clearly felt him stiffen for a moment...
Then, Zhou Mochen’s voice came from above. He nuzzled the top of her head with his chin, his voice very soft. "Like what? I have a lot of secrets, especially business-related ones. Which kind are you asking about?"
"I’m not interested in your business secrets. I just want to know if you made some kind of pact with your father—a secret that not even your mom knows about."
Xu Su said in a lighthearted tone, "You see it in TV shows all the time, right? The son goes through a rebellious phase, refuses to follow the family’s plans, and makes a gentleman’s agreement with his father, that sort of thing. I’m just asking out of curiosity."
"No..." Zhou Mochen chuckled, stroking her long hair. "There was no gentleman’s agreement like you’re imagining, and no rebellious phase. What else are you curious about? Might as well ask it all now."
’...No?’
Xu Su was stunned. "Really? Nothing?"
’Then my dream...?’
"What’s with that expression?" Zhou Mochen looked at her. "Were you certain that I had one?"
"No, no..." Xu Su hurriedly explained. "I just thought that for someone from your kind of background, life would be pretty boring without even a rebellious phase."
’I mean, look at Shen Chen. Fast cars, beautiful women, guns... he’s done every exciting thing there is to do...’
"Rebellion isn’t the only definition of an interesting life. There are many kinds of challenges."
Although, before he met her, there were indeed few things that could stir his emotions. He didn’t need to chase thrills just to prove he was rebellious.
Zhou Mochen sat up and looked down at her. "Susu, you’re still young. I can understand if you’ve been a good girl for so long that you suddenly want to rebel a little. No matter what kind of trouble you want to get into, I’ll back you up. But you know my bottom line."
Xu Su could sense that he was in a very bad mood.
She quickly started to placate him. Scrambling up, she linked her arm with his and snuggled closer. "I’m already nineteen, what’s there to rebel against? Don’t worry, Zhou Mochen. You’re the only one in my heart."
"Is that so..." Zhou Mochen let out a low chuckle. He cupped her chin, lowered his head to kiss her lips, and slowly pushed her down onto the bed. "Should we?"
"...!" Xu Su’s eyes flew wide. "No! This is my grandmother’s house!"
Zhou Mochen looked at her and gave a slight smirk. "So what? We’re a proper couple, not sneaking around for a tryst."
’Is he serious?’
Xu Su hurriedly pushed him away. "Absolutely not! Go and open the door right now. If we get caught, don’t expect my family to have a good impression of you."
’What kind of guy does that? Corrupting their granddaughter who just graduated high school on the very first day he sets foot in their house, and in broad daylight, no less!’
Xu Su was absolutely exasperated. ’I can’t believe he gets horny without any regard for the time or place!’
Zhou Mochen clicked his tongue. He hadn’t actually intended to do anything here. It’s just...
With a look of regret, he stood up and obediently went to open the door. But as soon as his back was turned, he could no longer stop his jaw from clenching, his jawline as sharp as a knife. His downcast eyes were dark and inscrutable.
He had almost lost control.
...
They had dinner at Xu Su’s younger uncle’s house. Both of her uncles were still passed out drunk from the afternoon’s drinking session. In contrast, Zhou Mochen, who had taken them both on, seemed completely unaffected. He wasn’t just not drunk—his face wasn’t even flushed.
Summer nights came late. After dinner, Xu Su pulled Zhou Mochen out for a stroll. By the time they reached the main gate of the Chen Family Team’s elementary school, the sky had already grown dim.
The school had let out long ago, and the campus was deserted. Peering through the locked iron gate, Xu Su pointed to a classroom on the second floor of the only old school building. "That’s where I went to elementary school for five years," she said.