I'm in Senior Year, and the System Says I'm Going on a Blind Date with My Childhood Sweetheart
Chapter 75: Are You Trying to Ruin My Feng Shui?
"What are you doing?"
Li Zhi looked warily at Shen Yuan behind her.
"Putting the doll in your room for you?"
Shen Yuan looked at Li Zhi as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The pretty girl’s bedroom was right in front of him.
Li Zhi’s brow furrowed. "Like hell you will. I’ll put it away myself. You just wait at the door."
"Eh? You don’t actually think I’m dying to come in, do you?"
Shen Yuan shook his head with a TSK TSK. "So lame, Li Zhi. You don’t just toss your clothes all over your room, do you? A cool, beautiful, top student on the outside, but secretly a messy slob who never cleans her room? Is that it?"
The beautiful girl glared. "You’re the slob! Your room is a total pigsty!"
"Correction, a cat’s den," Shen Yuan said proudly. "I’m a follower of the Cult of Cat."
With that, Shen Yuan raised the large dog-shaped plushie and began to chant righteously.
"Bright is the sacred fire, glorious is the sacred fire! All my disciples, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!"
Seeing Shen Yuan’s completely devout expression, Li Zhi really couldn’t keep a straight face.
"You... Forget it. You’re such a moron."
"Hey!"
Shen Yuan deployed his husky-warning glare, but Li Zhi ignored him.
"Don’t come in."
Leaving him with those words, Li Zhi opened the door and slipped into her room sideways.
She tossed the large plushie aside and quickly straightened up the clothes in her laundry hamper.
"PHEW—"
’That was close.’
Li Zhi put her hands on her hips, staring grimly at the laundry hamper before her.
It wasn’t that Li Zhi was as messy as Shen Yuan claimed. She had simply forgotten to take the laundry hamper out for her mother to wash when she left that morning.
Li Zhi’s family was much like Shen Yuan’s.
The parents didn’t like to enter their children’s rooms without permission.
For one, it avoided conflict, and for another, they couldn’t be bothered to clean up the mess.
The rule was: you clean your own room.
And for things like clothes, aside from intimates, they could just be gathered, sorted, and tossed into the washing machine.
But if Li Zhi didn’t bring the hamper out, her mother wouldn’t go in to get it.
Just as Shen Yuan was wondering why Li Zhi was taking so long, the door opened.
Li Zhi’s head peeked out from behind the door.
"Did you get lost in there?"
Hearing this, the beautiful girl shot Shen Yuan a sideways glance, then grabbed the large dog plushie and dragged it into the room.
The door was shut once more.
’This is fucking like a scene out of *It*.’
Shen Yuan’s internal critique continued: ’Still, it’s kind of cute.’
It was probably due to cultural differences, but Western horror films held no terror for Shen Yuan.
In movies like *It*, the scares came entirely from gore, or from depictions of psychopathy and high-tension, violent scenes.
But Shen Yuan didn’t find any of it scary.
Chinese horror, on the other hand... Though Shen Yuan was brave, he would never dare go to the bathroom alone in the pitch-dark after reading a ghost story late at night.
Turning on the light was fine, though.
After all, where the light shone, the evils of the dark could not harm him.
In short, it was all a bit childish.
After putting the plushie away, Li Zhi looked at the big dog smiling like a moron and gave it a hard punch.
"Take that, you moron Shen Yuan!"
The large dog plushie promptly fell over.
When Li Zhi opened the door again, the first thing she saw was Shen Yuan standing there, fiddling with his phone.
Li Zhi’s brow immediately furrowed. "Were you secretly taking pictures?"
Shen Yuan gave Li Zhi a huge eye-roll.
"How would I even do that? Take a picture through the crack in the door? If I really wanted to spy on you, why wouldn’t I just peek over from my own room?"
Hearing this, Li Zhi shot him another husky-warning glare. "You’re under arrest! You’ve already come up with multiple MOs!"
Shen Yuan nodded emphatically. "Oh, you’re so right. Just you wait. Next time you’re asleep, I’ll climb right over from my window. When you wake up in the morning, you’ll find a new Sunny Day Doll in your room."
Li Zhi found the first half of Shen Yuan’s statement disgusting, and the second half even more so.
Young Master Li aimed a kick straight at him.
"So you’d climb into my fucking room just to hang yourself? Is that it!"
"What else would I be doing there?"
Shen Yuan dodged nimbly while retorting, "Get your mind out of the gutter."
Li Zhi pointed a finger at Shen Yuan and said sternly, "Pah! You’re the one with a mind full of garbage! Dying in my room... are you trying to ruin my feng shui? Huh? Look my eyes! Answer me!"
A giant question mark appeared over Shen Yuan’s head.
That line about ruining her feng shui was absolutely killer.
For the people of Huaxia, when it comes to things they can’t get over—like messy emotional entanglements that plunge them into misery—there’s often a situation where one party simply can’t let go.
This not only affects their personal life, but in serious cases, those who can’t get over it might even resort to suicide.
In such situations, conventional words of comfort may have little effect.
But what if you were to say, "He/she is astrologically incompatible with you"?
"Your zodiac signs clash; it’s affecting your fortune/career."
Get the hell away from me!
Of course, this is all assuming you’ve already broken up.
If you haven’t, offering this advice is not recommended.
If they get back together, they’ll hold it against you for the rest of your life.
"Ugh, it was so-and-so who told us we were astrologically incompatible."
"What an idiot!"
And so on and so forth.
Shen Yuan looked at Li Zhi. "How do you know your feng shui isn’t especially good precisely *because* I sleep next door to you?"
"Did you only start sleeping next door to me recently? Were you there when I was in elementary school?"
Li Zhi pressed, but Shen Yuan shot back just as quickly.
"But didn’t your grades start getting better and better after we became neighbors? You weren’t number one at the start of middle school!"
"Pah! So being second in the whole school means my grades are bad?"
"Hey! We can argue, but no spitting!"
Li Zhi snorted coldly. "You seem to be enjoying this a little too much."
"Heh, how’d you know I’m into that? C’mere, right here."
Shen Yuan pointed to his neck. "Let’s seal the pact of a friendship to the death."
"You just wait. I’ll go get a kitchen knife to sign it with you. We’ll see who’s tougher."
With that, Li Zhi started walking toward the kitchen.
But she hadn’t taken two steps before she heard Shen Yuan yelling behind her, "Auntie! Li Zhi’s grabbing a kitchen knife to kill herself!"
"Shut up!"
Li Zhi lunged back and slapped a hand over Shen Yuan’s mouth.
Shen Yuan stumbled back a step, steadying himself.
The force of the beautiful girl’s charge was surprisingly strong. If Shen Yuan hadn’t had some strength of his own, he would have been knocked right over.
Li Zhi glared viciously at Shen Yuan. "Are you going to shut up or not?"
The next second, Li Zhi felt something warm on her palm.
The beautiful girl snatched her hand back, glaring at Shen Yuan with alarm. "You pervert!"
Shen Yuan wore an innocent expression. "I was just saving myself; you were suffocating me. Besides, I only blew on it. What are you thinking?"
"You toad."
"Hey!" Shen Yuan struck a pose, invoking the Great Wilderness Heaven-Imprisoning Finger. "Want to see me do it for real?"
Li Zhi gave a cold smile. "Go do your homework! Don’t think becoming a toad gets you out of it."
Shen Yuan’s face fell.
"Fine, fine, homework it is. I’ll head back then."
Li Zhi saw Shen Yuan to his front door.
After putting on his shoes, Shen Yuan turned to Li Zhi. "I already bought your prize for scoring over 620. It’s arriving tomorrow."
"I’ve already signed for the Huanggang Papers."
"I bought you a dress."
Li Zhi froze, then quickly slammed the door shut.
Her last word before the door slammed echoed in Shen Yuan’s ears.
"Pervert!"