I'll Be Villain to Everyone! Except for my Cat...
Chapter 112: Poor Stats
"Not in the mood. Leave a request on the site, make a donation, or buy some merch... and get your hand off me," Liliana replied irritably.
"But I’m your fan... Maybe you could at least give me your number?"
"Yeah? Only in your fucking dreams!"
She yanked his hand off her.
"Oh, it would be wonderful if you were in my dreams instead of something else... What about your dreams? Got room for me in there?"
"W-what the hell are you talking about?! What dreams, for fuck’s sake?! Go fuck yourself...!"
She turned to leave, but he grabbed her arm.
"What dreams, you ask... Well, for example, that kind. You know, the ones people don’t usually talk about."
"...What the fuck."
Before she could finish, he touched the bracelet on his wrist and gave Paymax a command. He was wearing an older version of the mask, and the faces on it could only be changed with the help of his assistant. Plus, with this version, it was possible to tell that it wasn’t a real face, but a mask.
Sofien had already used that to figure him out, and it was unclear where this might lead.
But for now, he used the mask to greet his good friend Liliana and try to cheer her up.
He changed his face to the one he’d had back in the days of the Plowman.
"Boo."
"Aaaaaaah!"
Liliana screamed, and her face flushed bright red.
"Looks like you found me again, stalker." He waved at her.
"N-no, I didn’t... It’s not what you think! A-and I didn’t have any weird dreams about you!"
"Um... okay. I was just joking." He smiled and waved at her again. "Sorry, I’m short on time. Let’s save it for our fourth encounter."
"Huh..."
He turned away, his expression back to normal, leaving her blushing behind him.
...
They had crossed paths three times already. The first two could be chalked up to coincidence, but after the third, he couldn’t ignore it anymore.
He didn’t add her name to the list of suspects. She wasn’t as suspicious as Noir, and she had actually saved him last time. Deep down, he didn’t feel she was one of the ones hunting him.
However, perhaps there was something special about Liliana that he hadn’t recognized right away. He hadn’t thought about it before, but was it possible that this girl might belong to a Path? If so, which one?
Unfortunately, this wasn’t the time or place for such musings.
He entered the planning room, carefully ignoring the cat’s displeased stare from his shoulder.
’So that’s why she was here...’
Sitting in one of the chairs was a girl wearing a dark mask, with short black hair and facial piercings. The sole survivor of the Bengou group.
It seemed the reason Liliana had come here was because of her.
She was watching the newcomers, but it seemed she hadn’t recognized Mr. Nobody again.
Her gaze settled on Sofien.
"H-hello... we haven’t been introduced yet," she began nervously, approaching the oddly dressed girl. "I-I’m Mara." 𝙧𝙚𝙚𝔀𝒆𝓫𝓷𝙤𝓿𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝙤𝓶
"Ah, that intern..." Sofien drawled. "How often do you get nightmares? Every night? How much do you even sleep?"
"What? I-I don’t quite understand..."
"Never mind. Just watch and learn." As if losing interest, Sofien turned away from her and noticed someone else in the room. "Kuronuma!"
"Huh? Hello..."
Mr. Nobody frowned, about to follow, but Noor’s outstretched hand stopped him.
"Bro, you’ve had a chance to look over the contract details and saw the mention of the suits, right? They’re incredibly cool, but to get them tailored to fit us, we’ll need to run some tests. I don’t want to waste time, so let’s get started."
"Testing?"
"Yeah. Your height, weight, other measurements, a check of your physical abilities, and more. It’ll be quick, and Sofien will get everything ready in the meantime."
The planning room had about 12 black chairs facing an open space with a long board. Along the sides of the room were numerous objects, such as mannequins, weapon models, and strange devices whose purpose was hard to guess at first glance.
At the end of the room was an enclosed space, a cubical enclosed space. Inside was something resembling a treadmill surrounded by sensors, along with other devices.
"..." He gave an indefinite nod and followed Noir.
The cat jumped off his shoulder.
Kuronuma, who had been awkwardly answering Sofien’s curious questions, smiled and let the cat settle onto her lap. That made Sofien fall silent and shift a little farther away.
At first, Kuronuma seemed flustered, but then she caught Mr. Nobody’s eye.
She smiled and waved at him, and he waved back.
"She waved at me! She waved!" Noir exclaimed joyfully, patting him on the shoulder.
Mr. Nobody looked at him and couldn’t help but wonder...
’Does this man really want to kill me?’
He shook his head, pushing the thought aside. He would find out for sure during this mission.
Upon entering the testing room, he had to change into special clothing. Unnoticed by Noir, he asked Paymax to scan the entire changing area, trying to find out if any tracking devices or something even worse had been planted.
Paymax said everything was fine, so he began the testing.
...
They measured his top speed, jump height, striking power, endurance, maximum lifting capacity, and other metrics.
By the end of the testing, he was drenched in sweat, but the whole thing took barely 20 minutes.
Once they were done, he and Noir took the results to Sofien.
While changing clothes, he noticed that Noir’s entire left arm, as well as part of the left side of his torso and even his spine, were mechanical. He couldn’t tell if it was a single implant or several, or what abilities they might be responsible for.
"Alright, dude in the mask." Sofien scrolled through the data on the projection. "Typical First Step stats. Nothing impressive. Your suit will be ready in a couple of hours."
"Damn, and I tried so hard..." Noir said dejectedly.
"Next, Mr. Nobody... Age 24, height 187 centimeters, weight 69.5 kilograms. Decorative implant." Sofien’s eyebrows knitted together slightly. "Top speed—over 40 km/h, vertical jump nearly 1.5 meters, deadlift around 300 kilograms, reaction time: 0.11 seconds, peak strike force: nearly 1.2 tons. Bone density, muscle flexibility, lung capacity, heart rate..."
Sofien quickly ran through the data and looked at him.
"Not great. For the First Step level, your stats are pretty low. Do your abilities compensate for that?"
Noir and everyone else in the room stared at him in surprise.
"What First Step?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "I’m at the level of an ordinary person and haven’t embarked on any Path yet."
"...What?" Noir froze.
He didn’t understand what was wrong, but Sofien didn’t check the data again and turned to him.
"...If that’s the case, then your stats are at the peak of human capability, and some are even higher. That’s... impossible."
Now it was Mr. Nobody’s turn to be surprised.