I understood what Joo Seunghyuk meant. If not for the Bracelet of Roitalraum, I might’ve run away partway through.

They say when an Alpha enters rut, they become governed by pheromones and their behavior turns rough.

But this wasn’t just rough.

Once rut began, Seunghyuk lost all reason. Forgetting everything, he endlessly craved me. No matter how much was given, it wasn’t enough—his instincts wanted, desired, and sought me.

Even through a wordless exchange of bodies, his desperate yearning bled through, unmistakable and raw.

Overwhelming emotion, sensation, and heat, far beyond what I could endure—we intertwined again and again.

At some point, I lost consciousness.

***

It was as if I was submerged in water, my entire body heavy and sinking. And yet I wasn’t afraid. The dark energy enveloping me felt warm and peaceful.

I opened my eyes, feeling a calm I’d never known before—and saw those jet-black eyes.

“Seunghyuk...”

“Hyung!”

Joo Seunghyuk tightly held my hand. His expression was somber. It also looked like he’d lost even more weight since before his rut started. Seeing how gaunt he still looked, concern suddenly surged within me.

“Seunghyuk... Are you okay?”

“You’re worrying about me right now?”

He let out a short laugh. He seemed fine, but I couldn’t relax yet. The image of him collapsed on the kitchen floor was still vivid in my mind.

“Is the rut over?”

“Yeah.”

“...Good.”

Looking back, it was a foolish question. During his rut, Seunghyuk had been so consumed by heat that coherent communication was impossible. The fact that we were speaking normally now meant the cycle must have ended.

Besides, he was fully dressed. And I was wearing matching blue pajamas, the same design—he must’ve dressed me himself.

“...Sorry.”

“For what?”

“I should’ve taken care of you, but I must’ve passed out without realizing. God, how pathetic—Uuh!”

Suddenly, Seunghyuk tugged my lips.

“What’s pathetic about that? Don’t say that kind of stuff.”

“But you were in rut, and I was totally fine...”

During his rut, Seunghyuk’s pheromones were unstable. On top of that, he’d overused suppressants, which put his physical condition at risk. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝒆𝒘𝙚𝓫𝙣𝙤𝒗𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

I had planned to take him to the hospital once the rut subsided, but since I’d fainted first, I ended up being the one needing care.

“It’s the opposite. I’m the reason you suffered.”

“No, I’m fine. Anyway, did you go to the hospital?”

“No.”

“You should go.”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.”

“But you collapsed.”

“That was from repressing my pheromones. It’s all released now, so I’m okay. You’re the one who went through hell because of me.”

Seunghyuk gently stroked my face. His touch on my cheek was delicate, as if he was afraid I’d break.

“No, I’m fine.”

“You can be honest. It was hard, wasn’t it?”

“...A little.”

Honestly, it was really hard. Not just shaking my head—I could barely even lift a finger. Sitting up or moving my hips was completely out of the question.

“That’s a relief. If it’s that hard, you won’t be able to run away.”

Oh, shut up! Whose fault do you think that is?! I haven’t slept in three days, and you’re going to say THAT?

His words made fury bubble up, but I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud. I just glared at him instead.

“But you’ve got that look like you want to bolt. If you were in one piece, you’d be saying something mean like, ‘I’m going back to the dorm.’”

Sharp bastard. If I’d been physically okay, I probably would have left as soon as I confirmed Seunghyuk’s health. If I could’ve stood, I’d have run back to the dorm already.

If we did it just one more time, I would die—so for the sake of preserving my own life, I had to get out of this house.

As I pressed my lips shut, Seunghyuk gave a gentle smile and kissed my forehead.

“You did great. And... thank you.”

“...No, I’m the one who should apologize.”

“What for this time?”

“If I were an Omega, it would’ve been easier for you...”

When an Alpha and an Omega go through a cycle together, their pheromones [N O V E L I G H T] react with each other. Both are enveloped in that pheromone haze, so the physical and mental burden is lighter, and recovery happens faster.

They say Alpha–Beta and Beta–Omega couples tend to break up the most often—and it’s usually after a cycle. One party ends up initiating the breakup.

Most people say it’s because the Alpha or Omega finds the Beta lacking, or because the Beta can’t physically handle it.

But now that I’ve experienced it myself, I know that’s not the whole story.

Yes, the physical part was brutal—but the worst was the shame about my own traits.

I was sorry for being a Beta. Being a Beta felt inadequate, like my very existence was wrong.

I’d always been content with my identity. I liked being a Beta. I’d never once wanted to manifest as an Omega. But during the rut, it felt like being a Beta was a sin.

If I’d been an Omega, it would’ve been easier for Seunghyuk too. His pheromones would’ve settled faster, the rut would’ve ended sooner. He wouldn’t have had to take suppressants in the first place.

Even if he had, I would’ve noticed. Suppressants don’t erase pheromones completely—there are subtle signs. But as a Beta, I couldn’t sense any of it.

He’d been suffering alone, forcing down suppressants out of concern for me, and I hadn’t noticed a single thing.

If I’d been an Omega... none of this would’ve happened.

I felt so... pathetic.

“Don’t think like that. I liked it. It’s just that, because of the pheromones, I wasn’t in my right mind. I was worried that might scare you or make it too hard for you.”

If I had been an Omega, we both would’ve lost control and gotten swept up in the cycle. But I stayed fully conscious. That didn’t mean I was afraid of Seunghyuk as he clung to me, lost in lust. Just... there was one thing that bothered me.

“...You... knotted.”

Seunghyuk had tried to knot me repeatedly during rut, his instincts overriding everything else.

But to a Beta, knotting held no special significance. It had made things a little more physically intense, but that was all.

“Maybe Alphas are supposed to be with Omegas...”

I muttered weakly, feeling helpless. Seunghyuk lightly pinched my cheek.

“Dummy. I didn’t want to knot a Beta or an Omega. I wanted to knot Lee Yeonsu.”

“But still...”

“I was happy because you stayed by my side.”

Seunghyuk laced his fingers with mine and looked straight into my eyes.

“Until now, rut was always hell for me. It was so miserable and disgusting that I felt like I’d go crazy whenever it came. But this time... going through it with someone else—for the first time—with you... rut actually felt okay. No, it felt good.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Every second felt like a dream.”

He gave me a bashful smile.

“...Was it really your first time?”

“Yes.”

He looked directly at me. Those unwavering black eyes held nothing but sincerity.

“I was your first?”

“Yes. First relationship, first time, first rut—everything was with you.”

He was telling the truth. He’d always claimed I was his first, and now I finally believed him.

“Is it okay... that I was your first?”

“What kind of dumb question is that? Of course it’s okay. You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

“But I’m not an Omega.”

“I don’t care. You’re you.”

His lips met mine. Not out of lust—but soft and sweet.

A cool, crisp scent brushed past the tip of my nose. Maybe he’d showered and used cologne?

The fragrance was unfamiliar, but pleasant. I kissed him back.

***

The first time we went through rut, I thought I’d be bedridden for a whole month. But I recovered way faster than expected.

Maybe it was thanks to the Bracelet of Roitalraum. Or maybe because Seunghyuk took such good care of me.

“Seunghyuk, I can feed myself.”

“Just for today.”

Seunghyuk blew on a spoonful of abalone porridge and brought it to my lips.

“Only today.”

“Yes.”

Ever since the rut ended, I hadn’t lifted a finger. Eating, washing, getting dressed—Seunghyuk did everything for me. He’d always been attentive, but not this extreme.

At first, I felt embarrassed, but my body had been so drained I let it happen. And, well—people adapt fast. These days I barely even blushed.

“Seunghyuk, you should eat too.”

“After you’re done.”

He didn’t stop feeding me until I emptied the bowl.

“But who made this porridge?”

“Why?”

“It’s delicious.”

It was better than any abalone porridge I’d ever had.

At first, I thought he ordered it. But it had way too much abalone for delivery. And it was always piping hot—not something that’d arrived on the back of a motorbike. The side dishes were also neatly prepared. Most of all, it tasted like the food I had when I was confined in the basement.

It was probably the same cook. But I hadn’t seen a single trace of another person in this house.

Of course, I hadn’t left this room much, so I couldn’t be sure—but still, it didn’t feel like anyone else came and went.

“I’m relieved. I was worried it wouldn’t suit your taste since I made it.”

“You made it?!”

“Why are you so surprised?”

Seunghyuk chuckled softly.

“You really made this?”

I couldn’t believe it and asked again. He gave a small nod.

“Yeah.”

“Then... the oxtail soup too?”

“Yeah. I made it for you.”

...All the amazing food that lit up my miserable captivity?

Apparently, it had all been made by Joo Seunghyuk.