Hwirim and Suhyang, whom he met again after several years, were just as he remembered.

Although they had been close friends at Jaseonwon, perhaps because they were reunited now as grown adults, the three of them naturally spoke with courtesy and kept a certain formality between them. On top of that, Myojeong held the authority of the Bangsangsi, so in official settings, they followed the same hierarchical relationship as the other officials.

Suhyang and Hwirim seemed very surprised that Myojeong was the successor to the Bangsangsi, and they seemed curious about the circumstances of his past at Jaseonwon. All Myojeong could do was apologize for not telling them beforehand. Perhaps sensing something from that, the two never brought it up directly to him again.

When they first entered the Office of Narye, Hwirim and Suhyang found Myojeong very difficult to approach. He had shed his boyishness and matured completely, and they had met again as adult men and women. Above all, they did not know how they were supposed to treat Myojeong, the master of the Office of Narye. Myojeong asked them to separate public and private matters and treat him as comfortably as they used to, at least when the three of them were together. Hwirim and Suhyang refused.

“There is proper conduct between a ruler and his subjects,” Suhyang said.

“But I am not a ruler.”

“There is not much difference. No, if anything, you are more all-powerful.”

Strict about etiquette, Suhyang bowed her head with firm resolve.

“Are you not the lord of the Naja, encompassing both humans and spirits?”

Even so, Myojeong did not back down.

Being the master of the Office of Narye was an exceedingly lonely thing. Unable to resist Myojeong’s persistence, the two eventually gave reluctant nods.

At first, they were visibly uncomfortable, but as time passed, the three of them grew quite at ease with one another. They naturally spent more time together, and later, became close enough to speak frankly while still observing propriety. Myojeong felt as if he could breathe when he was with Hwirim and Suhyang.

Hwirim still kept his hair short and boasted superb swordsmanship.

Myojeong once even wagered on a sword match with Hwirim, but the result was his utter defeat. Myojeong had not been negligent in his own training, but Hwirim’s talent was exceptional. Pressed back by Hwirim’s sword, Myojeong lost his grip on his own and landed flat on his backside.

“You could be called the greatest swordsman under heaven.”

Myojeong held out his hand as if asking to be pulled up. When Hwirim took it and helped him to his feet, the distance between them suddenly narrowed. The moment Myojeong smiled close to the tip of Hwirim’s nose, Hwirim quickly shook off his hand and turned away.

Myojeong stared blankly at Hwirim’s retreating back.

There was one problem.

It was fine when all three of them were together, but whenever he was alone with Hwirim, an awkward atmosphere settled between them. Hwirim, who had treated him comfortably like a younger sibling when they were young, was strangely uneasy around Myojeong now. Myojeong noticed it at some point.

It seemed to be because they had been apart for so long.

Trying to shake off that awkward, distant air, he smiled and made a joke.

“Do you still cut your own hair?”

He raised his hand and brushed his fingers through the hair that reached Hwirim’s ear. Hwirim seemed faintly embarrassed by it, but he merely said, “Hm? Ah, well. Yes,” and nodded without any other reaction.

“Didn’t you hurt your hand earlier? You have more scars on it than before...”

This time, Myojeong took Hwirim’s hand.

He was examining the calluses on Hwirim’s fingers when Hwirim quietly pulled his hand away. Pretending to scratch near his eyebrow, he naturally withdrew it.

“...”

In the past, Hwirim would have stayed still even if Myojeong touched his hair, and would even have reached out to ruffle Myojeong’s in return. He had also held Myojeong’s hand whenever Myojeong climbed somewhere high or had to go somewhere.

But the Hwirim he met again after several years seemed to have changed a great deal, and at times he showed this kind of reluctance.

After a moment of silence, Myojeong asked directly.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“Of course you are.”

Hwirim answered the blunt question without so much as blinking.

“Why?”

“Because you are a man.”

Myojeong paused at the sullen reply.

So you think of me as a man too?

Come to think of it, even at Jaseonwon, Hwirim had never gotten along well with men, and he had once shown displeasure toward Myojeong too. Back then, the boys had disliked Hwirim, and Hwirim had disliked them just as much. It had been fine when they were small, but now that they had grown up, perhaps he felt that sense of distance more keenly.

When the two of them stood facing each other, there was now a height difference of nearly a head. Myojeong had grown so tall it felt absurd to call him a “dog” anymore. His hands were large, and his shoulders had broadened.

“Do you dislike °• N 𝑜 v 𝑒 l i g h t •° me because I am a man?”

Myojeong hurriedly added, “I am not a man.”

Hwirim’s expression turned strange, as if he had heard something bizarre.

“...”

“...”

When Hwirim looked him up and down, Myojeong belatedly took the words back.

“Ah, no, that’s... that is... I am a man, but I am not the kind of man Hwirim is thinking of. I am simply very happy to meet Hwirim again like this, and to be friends...”

His heart pounded after he said it.

In truth, it was a lie.

He did not like Hwirim merely as a friend. Myojeong had known for a long time what this feeling was. It was affection. His heart beat fast whenever he was alone with Hwirim.

However, he had never thought of being with Hwirim or conveying these feelings to him.

He knew that if he formed a family and had a child with the person he loved, this curse would be passed down. He thought he could not wish for anything more than this, and that he must not. Therefore, Myojeong was not greedy.

What is the one thing you cannot have?

You will find out soon enough.

He believed that if he did not become any greedier than this, this happiness and peace would continue.

“Well, I understand what you mean.”

After a moment of silence, Hwirim nodded.

After that day, Hwirim no longer avoided Myojeong.

It was deep in the night.

Since last year, Hwirim had been working as an inspector who patrolled the regional offices. He came up to the capital once every couple of months and stayed for several days, and Myojeong counted the days until Hwirim returned.

A clear full moon had risen in the night sky.

The three of them gathered together for the first time in a long while and shared a drink. Whenever Hwirim, who wandered the provinces, came to the capital, he would tell them what he had seen and heard during his travels. Myojeong was happiest in those moments. He liked listening to Hwirim’s stories of his journeys, and he liked looking at Hwirim’s clear face.

But this time, something was different.

For some reason, Hwirim spoke less than usual, and now and then he fell into thought in the middle of speaking.

“I would like to step down from my position.”

Myojeong nodded.

“You must be tired from the fatigue of your travels piling up. Go in and rest.”

However, Hwirim bowed his head with the etiquette of a subordinate.

“I am requesting permission to resign.”

The smile vanished from Myojeong’s lips in an instant.

It was a bolt from the blue.

The warm atmosphere froze at once. Without realizing it, he turned to look at Suhyang. Suhyang’s eyes, too, had widened as if she could not believe what she had heard.

“What did you just say?”

“I will resign and step down from my post as an official.”

Myojeong looked utterly incredulous.

“You are quitting as a Naja?”

“Yes.”

“...”

Suhyang frowned.

Suhyang knew very well how hard Hwirim had worked to become a Naja, and how fiercely he had wanted it. There was no such thing as an easy job in this world, so every path was bound to have its hardships, but Hwirim had never once shown any sign of struggling.

“Why?”

“I do not think this path is right for me.”

The Office of Narye had been passing through a period of upheaval for several years.

Recently, conflicts of opinion had arisen among the Naja within the Office of Narye over how ghosts should be handled, and voices insisting that ghosts were harmful and must be driven out strictly had grown louder. Others argued that there had to be a reason ghosts could not leave the human world, and that the cause and circumstances should be examined first.

As a result, the Naja had split into moderates and hard-liners, and because the two sides’ positions stood sharply opposed, the debate continued day after day. There were several reasons this dispute had suddenly flared up.

The most decisive factor was that the Office of Narye’s position was no longer as secure as it had once been, and had become precarious. For some time now, criticism had been rising in court, accusing the Office of wasting public funds on absurd matters and impoverishing the people.

In the eyes of ordinary people, rites to drive off ghosts and spells were nothing more than ominous shamanic practices, superstitions that disturbed good customs. Both inside and outside the palace, more and more voices were calling for the evils of Narye to be corrected with severity.

As a result, the status of the Office of Narye had fallen greatly compared to the past. In practice, its scale had been reduced, and its standing was gradually diminishing. Feeling a sense of crisis, the hard-liners insisted that Narye and shamanism were different and drew an even stricter boundary between them. Factional conflict inside and outside the Office of Narye only grew more severe.

Hwirim, too, had been on the side that opposed ghosts.

However, since last year, he had been traveling outside the capital and had witnessed several shamanic rites. The shamans, who saw, heard, communicated with ghosts, scolded them, wept with them, and laughed with them, stood much closer to the lives of the people. The doubts that had sprouted in him like seeds had somehow grown into skepticism toward the work he himself was doing.

“The current Office of Narye is not humane.”

At Hwirim’s words, Suhyang’s eyes narrowed slightly.