You Cannot Afford To Offend My Woman - Chapter 11 - You were no good during that night

Joseph Sullivan is at an all-time low. He lost his job, his fiancée dumped him, he moved back to the Midwest and currently lives in his parent’s basement—oh, and his workout was just interrupted with the arrival of the System.Earth has become a playing field in a contest amongst the gods, where mortals are the pawns. The winning god gets the glory, and their chosen champion gets a single wish. The first stage of this game: Tutorial – Class Selection.Provided the ideal stat array for a physical, combat-focused class, the choice for Joe is obvious. Until he fat thumbs the selection screen and ends up selecting Spellcaster. His starting Intelligence stat? 1.With a useless class selection and only his raw testosterone-fueled strength to back him up, Joe decides class optimization is for dummies. Pumping all stat points in Strength, he hopes to not only survive the contest of the gods, but to win the whole damned thing.After all, a real wizard should be measured by how much they can bench!

In the mysterious MMORPG 【ExoGenesis】, the extraordinary age of transcendence has arrived on Terra. Tristan is reborn on the very day the game launches, awakening an SSS-level talent: the Sniper God.[Sniper God (SSS-Level)]- Effect 1: All ranged attacks are guaranteed to hit, and the damage type is changed to true damage.- Effect 2: For every meter of distance from the target, damage increases by 10%.With such an overpowered talent, Tristan’s choice is clear—he becomes an assassin!With deadly precision and the ability to strike from miles away, Tristan proves that an assassin doesn’t have to fight up close.

Darkness is coming, and crisis is everywhere. In this long dark and desperate night, do you want to see a bonfire with warm words? We are that light.

We don’t want to be the little bully who guards one-third of an acre and eats canned food.

We don’t want to drive the harem on a great escape from east to west.

We don’t want to be a bunch of rats guarding rancid cheese in the gutter.

We don’t want to see the panic on your faces and the desperation in your screams.

So we stand up, fight for ourselves, fight for you, fight for humanity!

As long as we are here, the flames of war will never be extinguished.

We light a warm bonfire in the dark night, and watch the dawn with the brilliance of life.

We are the shield of the earth, the patron saint of mankind!

- Description from novelbuddy

During the Chunin Exams, a mysterious screen hijacks Konoha's arena, broadcasting the shinobi world's most shocking secrets, pivotal future events, and utterly embarrassing moments, sending Kages, legends, and genin alike into a hilarious frenzy.The air crackles with anticipation during Konoha's Chunin Exams. Genin face off, crowds roar... and then, BAM!A gigantic projection screen materializes out of thin air above the packed arena, silencing everyone. This is not on the schedule. Before anyone can react, it flickers to life, broadcasting scenes that should never see the light of day.Get ready for reactions that rewrite history (and dignity):Mei Terumi (Fifth Mizukage): *Eyes widening, then narrowing suspiciously*: “Hold on... Madara Uchiha's 'invincible' fire style... extinguished by a Water Barrier? Is this some kind of advanced Genjutsu prank, or did someone seriously just splash water on the apocalypse?”Ōnoki (Third Tsuchikage): *Clutching his lower back*: “My aching joints! And the screen says I'm going to willingly ride atop the Fourth Raikage like some kind of... decrepit flying squirrel?! Preposterous! My back couldn't take that speed!”A (Fourth Raikage): *Face turning purple, with veins popping* :“WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?! STOP LOOPING THE FOOTAGE OF MINATO MAKING BEE LOOK LIKE A FOOL! TURN IT OFF! BEE, IF YOU START RAPPING TO THIS, I SWEAR I'LL LARIAT YOU INTO NEXT WEEK!”(Nearby, Killer Bee subtly starts beatboxing under his breath, yo!)Hiruzen Sarutobi (Third Hokage): *Sweating profusely as Kushina Uzumaki glares daggers from the stands, holding a spectral frying pan*: “K-Kushina, my dear! That scene where Naruto painted the Hokage Monument... again... it was taken completely out of context! He was... expressing youthful exuberance! Yes! And I definitely didn't bribe him with ramen to clean it up! Please, listen to reason... and put the ethereal kitchenware down?”Danzō Shimura: *Eyes colder than ice*: “Exposing Root operations? Revealing my contingency plans... or lack thereof in that particular future? Unacceptable. This screen poses a threat to Konoha's stability. It must be... Eliminated Permanently.” (He discreetly signals an Anbu who immediately bowed).Uchiha Madara (From an undisclosed location, sensing a disturbance in the Force... err, Chakra) : “An unseen hand manipulating the narrative? Revealing destiny's secrets before their time? Insolence! Who dares play director with my grand stage?!”From Kage summits gone wrong to legendary shinobi's secret guilty pleasures (did Jiraiya really wear that?), the screen reveals all.The entire shinobi world watches, mouths agape. Hidden truths are dragged into the sunlight, future tragedies are foreshadowed, alliances tremble, and enemies start taking very detailed notes.One question burns hotter than Amaterasu: 'Who is behind this chaotic broadcast, and what earth-shattering secret will they expose next.'