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... with her is going to be like, I might need to stock up on patience—and alcohol. For Christ’s sake, couldn’t she survive a few hours without food? But no, her insufferable stomach had to humiliate me in front of the judge, the Black brothers, and God knows who else.

When the judge said, "You may kiss the bride," I was so furious I briefly entertained the idea of biting her lip clean off. It would’ve served her right. But, alas, self-control prevailed. I opted for the lightest, most busin ...

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