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... someone had jabbed him with a harpoon filled with caffeine and regret.

"Ughhh... what now..." he groaned, trying to move—only to find his arms bound behind him and his body lashed to a thick, moss-covered pole. Great. A pole. Always a pole.

He cracked one eye open and blinked against the faint, pulsing glow of underwater crystals embedded in the cavern walls. The place was damp, humid, and weirdly warm. Definitely not the turtle village. Definitely not a five-star spa, either. < ...

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