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... se terrifying thoughts. I wrote a poem, and I want to give it to my lover. I apologize to my lover! It’s all my negligence towards her, and blaming her, that led her to depression. I am incapable and easily sulk; when my illness flares up, I just want to be alone. I don’t want to see anyone. My lover brings me food, accompanies me, and yet I ignore her. In the Sensory Paradise, I was all alone, and suddenly I thought of her. During the time I was hospitalized, she came to see me several times an ...

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