MTL - Conan: Open the Door, I’m a Policeman - v2 Chapter 13 【Theatrical Version】Countdown to Heaven【13】

No sign in, no punch card.

Do not rely on breathing, do not rely on walking, do not rely on heartbeat.

The system is produced in one step

- Description from novelbuddy

“They Call Guys Like Me a Simp.”(Meanwhile, I’m out here living what their favorite MC only dreams about.)You ever notice how stories glorify the ones who feel nothing?The MC who never laughs.Never feels.Who plays women like chess pieces and calls it intelligence.He manipulates a girl? “He’s strategic.”He never opens up? “He’s mysterious.”He never flinches, never laughs, never lives —And you call that strength?Funny.Because to me?That’s just a prison in disguise.You see an “alpha.”I see a boy too scared to feel anything real.While they spend ten chapters monologuing about logic and sacrifice,I’m already making the Saintess scream,drenched in sin,halo cracked,legs trembling from truths her prayers never taught her.And I didn’t get there with cold eyes or control.I got there with laughter and chill. With warmth. With a grin and a hand on her thigh.I didn’t need to dominate her mind —I freed her heart.But that scares people, doesn’t it?Because readers trust the ones who suffer.Who stay quiet.Who kill without blinking and love without showing it.But me?I flirt.I laugh.I take hits and smile back, bloody and defiant, as if too weak to get angry.I don’t need to pretend emotions are weakness.I weaponize mine.Pleasure. Connection. Laughter.That’s my arsenal.And while your favorite MC is still calculating his next five moves,Trying to outwit death and romance like both are math problems,I’m already balls deep in the jade fairy — her sacred yin furnace clenching like it’s worshipping my shaft, her Dao Echo shattered into breathless moans, and her so-called cultivation path leaking down her thighs while she begs me to break her meridians again.You call that luck?Nah.That’s mastery of the three worlds.Because in a world that respects coldness,I came in hot.Where others manipulate, I connect.Where they posture, I play.Where they sacrifice, I seduce.So go ahead.Call me a simp.But while your genius MC is busy monologuing about destiny,I’m the one making goddesses question theirs —with a smirk, a touch, and no regrets.I’m not the hero.Not the villain.I’m just a simp… the kind who leaves your cold, emotionless MC’s woman dripping, ruined, and too stretched to go back to him.

Regressor, Reincarnator, Possessor, Traveler, or Predestined. I will hunt down the protagonists that exist in the countless worlds and absorb their abilities.

Here lies the protagonist.

The continent’s hope.
The hero who will save the world.
The hero who currently has a hole through his chest!

With the Spirit of Earth, freed the Dwarfs and gained their trust.
Purified the contaminated Forest of Spirits and became the Fairies’ benefactor.
Resealed the Ancient Stone statues found in one of the ruins.
Exterminated the giant sea serpent that emerged from the sea.
Defeated the 47th Demon Lord of the underworld…

“Aside from assaults and murders there were other death related incidents as well as vandalism, arson, and etc…”

“S-spare me…”

Psh!

This was the protagonist.
But now he has died by my hands.

Mallory is a self-proclaimed queen of laziness who wakes up one day to find herself in a world overrun by zombies. Fortunately, her apartment seems to have a mind of its own—and it’s evolving. From providing unlimited snacks to generating electricity and even sprouting a dimensional elevator, her cozy haven keeps her safe and comfortable while others struggle to survive outside.But when her evolving apartment drags her into alternate realities, Mallory must reluctantly become the “hero” of bizarre worlds, from candy-coated kingdoms to high-tech dystopias. Armed with her magical Staff of Lazula, which lets her achieve greatness with minimal effort, Mallory stumbles into one comedic escapade after another. Whether she's outsmarting sorceresses or surviving talking gummy bears, Mallory proves that you don’t need to be a go-getter to be a hero—just really, really good at being lazy.Join Mallory and her apartment in an adventure that no one expected!