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... dimmed or faded, but visibly shaken. It was barely a breath but in a being like Thar'Zul-Vekar, such a shift spoke volumes.

Erend couldn't read the god's mind and he sure that no one could, but he felt it in the air that his words had struck something. A memory maybe, a doubt, a fracture in whatever unyielding fury the god held.

Here's a revised version of that passage with improved clarity, flow, and tone while keeping your intent intact:

The truth was, Erend didn't know ...

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